Protect
by The Sacred Pandapuff
Summary: Many people's lives turn upside down when Roy and Riza find a boy lying on the beach halfdead. What the hell has happened? AU, Parental!RoyEd, Parental!RizaEd, Royai
1. The dusty gold

I wrote this after summer holiday when I got back from Spain but after that I've forgotten about it and it's been left unfinished with this only chapter. I'm posting it here now to force myself to finish it. Because I'm not posting stories I'll never finish. I've decided that.

And yeah, I'd love to get reviews. And yeah, I'm having problems with the characters: as AU story the things have come differently so the personalities are a little different but I still want them to be pretty much the same. And I'm not good at writing about Riza. And a few characters as well. But I promise to do my best and I'm open for critism.

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 1  
**__The dusty gold_

He felt a cold breeze on his face as the man lifted him from his long and filthy hair to the air and threw over the edge of the boat. The water was cold. He tried to plash back to the surface and managed to do it in a matter of few freezing seconds. But he was used to cold. He was used to hot. He was used to pain more horrible than this. But there were some things he wasn't used to. He wasn't used to been thrown in the water in the middle of the sea. Actually, he didn't even remember the last time he had been out of that house he had so long ago called home. He took in a breathless breath and looked at the man on the boat. The man he had once called something else than "the man". The man who had once mattered more. Who had been different.

But what was the point hanging in the past? It was gone. It was gone so long ago. And it was impossible to get it back. Any of it.

"Please! Please don't leave me in here!" he yelled with a hoarse and broken voice. He was surprised that he even remembered how to talk anymore; it had been so long ago since the last time. Too long ago. He felt tears in his eyes too. That was also a thing he hadn't done in a long time. "…I don't want to die!"

Dying. Leaving like someone who he had once known too. Leaving Al all alone with the man. Stopping existing. Even though he yearned for it he wasn't sure if he had the guts to end it all. He was afraid to do most of the things in the world. Even flinching felt like a horrible mistake. Which it usually was.

The man spit on him and pushed his head under the water. He fought back and managed to swim a little further away. His wet clothes were trying to sink him in the dark space under him but he fought back. This shouldn't happen. Or maybe it should. Maybe it was the right thing.

Just stopping his pathetic existence so that nobody wouldn't have to look at his filthy face ever again.

If he would've gotten the chance to do this without Al existing he would've probably just dived towards the bottom he was never going to reach. But he couldn't, he couldn't do it. Al needed him. He had to get Al out of that place before something like this would happen to him too. And things going worse everyday… it was bound to happen. He had been protecting Al for so long… and now he wouldn't probably be able to do so ever again. Guilt burned his stomach and head. If he just wouldn't have done what he did he wouldn't be here. He would still be covering Al when the man attacked him. Take all the hits. Take most of the pain.

Just protecting his little brother.

No. He was not okay this way. He needed to get Al out _alive _before giving up and dying himself. This was not okay. This was ruining it all.

"…Please-" he managed to cry out before a hit in the face which pushed him even further away again. The man's face was red with rage and his body was trembling. It wasn't the first time he had seen the man furious… but today was the first time he had totally crossed the lines. Over and over again.

"Never beg you twisted creature", the man growled threateningly. His cheek burned and was starting to get more swollen than before. The salty water burned his eyes and wounds and he spattered it out of his lungs and mouth. He was starting to feel extremely thirsty. The man started the boat again with a loud snarl.

"Please! I'm sorry, I'll never do it again! I'll be better, I'll-" he continued crying. He already knew it was for nothing. It was not the nature of this man to give mercy. Mercy didn't exist in his world. It was only part of the fairytales his mother had been reading to him when he had been a little kid.

Before it all.

Before it all shattered to pieces and pierced his flesh over and over again. He was swimming with his clothes in a never ending pool of bitter blood.

How ironic. Or maybe not.

If it just would've gone differently, he thought when he watched the boat disappearing to the horizon, his life would probably be a fairytale.

Now… he didn't know what it was.

Was this even life anymore or had he died without noticing and ended up in hell he never believed to exist?

Or was it even possible for the hell to be worse than the things he had gone through?

There was no goodness in this world, so there couldn't be heaven. Or if there would be heaven, it would be just for one person he had known long ago.

Mum… If you'd just still be here.

* * *

"So have you enjoyed yourself?" Roy asked his long-time girlfriend while sipping cappuccino on the little lounge of his coast cottage. Riza laughed a little and stretched her arms.

"Yes. Work had worn me out so badly… this was the best holiday I could ever wish for. I can't believe we have to leave tomorrow…"

Roy let his fingers dance around the little case in his pocket nervously. If everything would go well tonight… Well, he'd probably be one of the happiest men on the world. He was hoping he wasn't too obvious so that Riza could guess it all before it happened. He wanted it to be a surprise. A happy surprise, hopefully.

She stood up and put her coffee mug down next to the sink. Roy watched her hair flow freely as she turned her head to look out of the window.

"Do you want to go and take a walk on the beach?" she asked. Roy kissed her on her cheek and heard a silent chuckle. Riza was very charming when she just loosened up a little.

"Why not? It's the last chance we'll get in a long time", he murmured indirectly. Riza slapped his cheek.

"Pervert. Let's just go."

It was already dark and all the light they had came from the full moon far above them. Its silvery light made imperfect things seem so perfect and beautiful even though silver was just it. Silver. Gorgeous, yes, but also somehow it felt like pointing out that however things managed to seem so perfect, they weren't.

The world was imperfect itself. But it was fine that way. As long as he and Riza would be happy it wouldn't matter at all how the other people would feel or go through. At least he had gotten through enough bad things already. Now there was just space for happy things.

Or so he thought. But as everyone knows… suffering never ends. It increases and eases but it never really ends. Too much good things aren't healthy.

Not that too many bad things would be.

The soft and tingling sand under their toes as the waves of the dark sea hit their ankles time after time again. There was no one who could interrupt anything. There was nothing that could interrupt anything. This would go very well. Hopefully. If he just wouldn't panic but keep his head cool.

"You know Riza…" he started and let his fingers curl around the case again. Riza turned her glance in him and he started to kneel down.

Yes people. Started. He never managed to finish the move.

"What's that in there?" Riza asked quickly and pointed somewhere behind him. Roy turned around annoyed to take a look too. He had been planning for this for _months_ damn it and what the heck had the courage to ruin it all?

There was a small figure lying motionlessly barely on the beach. Riza started running towards it and Roy walked curiously after her. There shouldn't be any other colonization near to this place. Or maybe it wasn't even human, maybe they were overreacting to some random baulk?

"Oh my god..!" Riza breathed and laid her hand on the cheek of a small unconscious or dead boy covered with sand. The boy flinched quickly and started coughing and screaming. Roy's eyes widened and he ran to the scene.

The boy's astonishing golden eyes were unfocused and his strong grip was curled to Riza's collar almost like in a convulsive way. Riza was trying to release herself and calm down the kid at the same time. Roy pulled the boy away from her.

"NO! DON'T DO IT, PLEASE, I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, I'M SO SORRY, I'M SO SORRY, I MEAN IT, I AM, PLEASE..!" the kid coughed and screamed. Roy kneeled down and tried to touch the kid again but the boy's fist met his hands and he backed off. "I CAN'T DIE, I NEED TO SAVE AL, GOD I CAN'T DIE..! I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry Al… I'm so sorry…"

"Out of my way Roy", Riza commanded and Roy obeyed a little unwillingly.

"He seems to be a maniac. Shouldn't we just call the police? It's not safe to go near to him", he said strongly and looked seriously at Riza who snorted angrily.

"Roy, you idiot! He's in shock; I wouldn't be surprised if he wouldn't even know that he's awake. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he wouldn't know that he's even alive. He must be frightened, right now, he doesn't need police officers around him. He needs very few calm people. Come, help me." She slipped her thin but muscled arms under the boy's armpits and motioned Roy to help her lift him up from the legs. Roy sighed and obeyed again. So much for the loosened up Riza. So much for the propose as well.

The boy's body trembled furiously and a few tears on his face were barely visible when he fell limp on their arms. How far had he even come from? He seemed so exhausted and he was so small… he couldn't be more than 10 years old…

And how had the kid ended up alone in the sea anyway? And why was he apologizing? And who or what was Al?

Scars, wounds and bruises covered the lithe and bony body screaming for discomfort, pain and a horrible past. Roy shrugged. He felt stupid thinking that his past had been a nightmare. The kid was still so young but it seemed like he had gone through what Roy had too but just hundred times worse. His brains were ticking and searching for possibilities for what had happened to him. Shipwreck? Kidnap? Kidnap seemed closer, if it was shipwreck why would he apologize? But like Riza had already said the kid hadn't been sane at the moment of screaming. So maybe he had been screaming for something in his past?

God, this was just so complicated. And he could read from Riza's auburn eyes that they were not going to call the police before they had found out what had happened. And that meant… no, she couldn't be serious. She couldn't really mean that they'd have to take care of this kid? Thank god the holiday was ending and they were going back to Central… Riza still had a different apartment and she would probably take the kid with her. Most likely. She could not possibly leave him to him. And in the best case they'd found out about it as soon as the kid would wake up and start arranging the boy back to his family.

But something in his mind just screamed that his thoughts weren't even near to the truth. It was like there was… a feeling in the air…? Betrayal? Hurt?

He had always been good in sensing things and feelings. He could feel it in the air if someone was lying to him or just keeping a secret. And when people were trustworthy and when they were not. Just sort of… sensing things. Almost like breaking into their minds without really hearing their thoughts and so on. Just getting their true feelings.

And even when the boy was asleep he could sense a few strong and bitter feelings.

How irritating. Like he didn't have enough feelings to think about by himself but to feel other's feelings too. It didn't bother him when the feelings were good… but like in this case… god, he just wanted to go to sleep and bury his head in his pillow just to avoid it all. He hated feeling down. No, he couldn't stand it.

They laid the kid on the couch and just stood there for a while silently, watching as the sand messed the whole couch. They'd have to clean it up at morning. Roy could sense Riza's worry and curiosity.

"Roy I'm feeling tired", she finally sighed. "Promise to wake me up when he wakes up, OK?"

Roy blinked. What the..? "I'm tired too. Can't we just both go to sleep? It's not like he'll walk away in that condition."

"Roy, someone needs to watch over him. Someone needs to be there when he wakes up", she said strongly and started heading to the bedroom. When she was just before the door she turned. "Don't fall asleep."

Roy sighed angrily and sat down on his armchair, sulking and glaring at the boy angrily. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

God, every muscle in his body ached just so much… but other than that and the even dirtier feeling than before he was somehow weirdly feeling better than ever. He was in a comfortable almost forgotten position… what was it called… oh yeah, _lying_ on something soft… god it made good to his neck and back!

But wait… he wasn't allowed to sleep like this, right?! God, he was going to get beaten up so badly! His body ached so much already and it wasn't like people were going to listen when he would try to explain that he had no idea how he had ended up in there!

And… gosh… he almost gasped out of horror when his memories came back to him. Well at least he _certainly _wasn't dead. That was a bad thing too. If he wasn't dead and that man wasn't going to keep him alive for longer then… didn't it mean that… that he was in someone else's house!? It was banned from him, he had no rights to meet other people! He wasn't allowed to look at them, to talk to them, to touch them or anything in that matter! If the man would ever find out about this there wouldn't be a new trip to the sea, it would be done messily and fast so he could be sure he had succeeded!

He almost shrugged but managed to hold back with years practise. After that he quickly stood up. His muscles were screaming and he clenched his teeth so he wouldn't show it to any other person if someone happened to be looking at him.

The sand on the couch and floor shone to his eyes. Please, no, just please, no…

"Oh, you're awake", a bitter voice reached his ears. Oh no, here we go… He wasn't even allowed to look at the man's eyes to see how horrible punishment he had in his mind for him!

"You should sit down, you look exhausted. I'm getting Riza, she made me promise to get her when you wake up."

Sit down? The man didn't really mean that, did he? And was this Riza mad at him too? Were they going to beat him up together? They weren't going to get him back to the sea, were they?!

But follow the orders. Always follow the orders. If the man said "sit down" he had to sit down. But… but the man hadn't said to the floor or to the chair! God, he was just so out of it and he could hear silent talking which meant that his time was running out. Decide! Well… there was only the armchair and sofa, and if there was two people the man probably meant to the floor. So he sat to the floor and started staring at his feet, totally frozen with no kind of movement. A talent he had learned years ago.

The man and woman came back to the room and Ed swallowed unnoticeably. He was in so much pain and exhaustion that he wasn't even sure if he'd manage to be beaten up without passing out. And he wasn't allowed to pass out while being punished, damn it! He wasn't this weak!

"What are you doing on the floor? Come here", he could hear the woman saying. His hand twitched and he cursed in his mind for it. Alright. Get up and here we go. If he'd pass out he'd probably remember it for the rest of his life. He slowly stood up and took a few steps towards the voice, his head lowered down to show he wasn't fighting against. The body language he had been forced to learn during the latest years with the man.

He felt a gentle hand on his cheek, slowly turning his face up, almost like asking him to look in her eyes. No, he wasn't going to do it. He wasn't going to break the rules. Even being in the same room with these people was wrong. He wasn't going to worsen it, damn it!

He heard the woman sigh after a while. She guided him down to the sofa. Why the sofa? Why not… well… the kitchen chairs for example? They weren't as… comfortable… He deserved no comfortable…

The woman sat next to him and he heard the man sitting to the armchair too. He was awkwardly aware of the eyes laid upon him. And he was awkwardly aware of the fact that he was probably slurring their house.

"What is your name?" the woman asked. He blinked. Huh? Who the hell would ask his name? He lowered his head a little more without saying anything. He wasn't allowed to talk. A while of it and these people would get angry, beat him up and throw away. Then he'd just need to find out where was his home. Then he'd get back to Al.

The woman caressed his sticky hair hesitantly but he didn't react. At least so he would've shown it. His mind was screaming. It felt so weird. He was scared. Who were these weirdoes and what did they want?

"How old are you? Can you tell me that?" she asked again. He did nothing. He heard the man sitting back on the armchair and rubbing his eyes.

At least that man was angry, that was a fact. He was furious for him. He could sense it.

The woman's arms curled around him and he stopped breathing. It felt horrible. Horrible yet nice. But still more horrible. He wouldn't be able to move freely even if he'd decide so. He didn't have his own space. It terrified him. He'd always had his own space. He _needed_ it. This was driving him crazy. He didn't want to be crazy. He didn't want to give up now.

The woman sighed as she still got no response. "Can you understand what I'm saying?"

He didn't answer but couldn't help falling asleep again and falling limp in the woman's strong arms. He had failed.

Riza sighed and laid the boy back on the couch and looked at Roy who was staring at the boy weirdly.

"Do you think he even speaks the same language?" he asked and Riza raised her shoulders.

"I don't know. But we're taking him with us. Let's see if you have some clothes he can wear. I'm sure you don't want him to sit in your car in those clothes."

"Hell, no", Roy muttered as he followed Riza to the bedroom.

* * *

If you want me to continue, review. One review wanting me to continue and I promise to write another chapter when I get the time.


	2. City life

I'm here updating again! Thanks to everyone for the really nice reviews. **Katsushiro Okamoto **was the first one who started this chappy's writing project! Thank you!

**And to expain a few things here:  
**This is an **AU (Alternate Universe)** story, so the things have gone differently than in the original manga/anime. Trisha did die, Hohenheim didn't leave but snapped after his wife's death and the reason Roy and Riza aren't recognizing Ed (yes, it is Ed) is because they have never met him before. Hope I wasn't that unclear, I'm not really good at explaining things.  
And to say it here, Ed is 12 at the time being. Yes, **12**. Roy got his age wrong because of his lack of height! **>xD **Sorry, I couldn't resist!  
And I'm **Finnish**, so there will be spelling mistakes. But I'm trying hard to learn from them (if I just know what they are...) and make it better. I'm only 14 years old, I have school as well so the updates will get quickly or slowly. That's about it!

**Disclamer: I don't own FMA.**

* * *

**PROTECT**

_**Chapter 2  
**__City life_

At the morning he woke up sneezing violently and rubbing his ice-cold hands together to warm them up. He tried to stretch his aching muscles with no avail. It just didn't work out. He's head was feeling horrible and he still felt incredibly sleepy. He blinked his sleepy eyes a few times, wanting to make sure he wasn't still dreaming.

But no. The scenery didn't change. He was so screwed if the man ever found out about this. He let his right hand slowly caress a bad bruise on his cheek. It didn't actually ache. He was starting to get confused with what hurt and what didn't. When he got used to it he started to get immune to it. Nothing hurt for long. And some things didn't even hurt anymore, they just felt… weird. It was getting on his nerves.

He moved his leg hesitantly over edge of the couch and sat up slowly and quietly, letting his eyes take a look at the room he was in. Judging by the light it was already morning. He wanted to escape but he still felt too exhausted. He leaned his back against the couch. It was so soft… He liked soft…

"Oh good, you're awake", the woman said as she stepped in the room. He immediately straightened up and lowered his head and gaze. Show respect. That was a rule that should never be broken. He didn't have any more room for mistakes. The man had already tried to murder him. He wouldn't be able to stay alive for another time. And he needed to save Al. Think of the goal and you'll reach it, he thought. Just think of the goal. Think of getting Al out of there.

He felt a hand getting his own. He was surprised. This woman had a weird way with dealing things. It was really getting on his nerves. The woman helped him up. He kept his gaze down.

"You can just look at me, you know. Don't be shy", the woman. She sounded like she was trying to be cheerful. Ed didn't like the tone. It usually meant troubles. It was one of the hints that the person was starting to get pissed off. And he didn't know what to do. He had been told not to look other people, except for Al, in the eyes. And now, the woman _suggested_ that he would look in hers. He didn't know if it was a test or something. The woman sighed as he did nothing.

"Alright, you don't have to if you don't want to. But you really need to take a shower and eat before we leave. Follow me, I'll show you where you can wash yourself", she said and Ed nodded. He followed the woman's heels as she led him to a small room with a shower and a few funny bottles.

"Here's the soap and here's the shampoo. You should be fine with those. And there will unfortunately come only cold water at first but it warms up after a while. Towels are there. You can use this one. Wash yourself well, Roy hates it when someone messes his car", she added whispering silently. He could hear a tiny laugh in her voice. "But enough about that. These are clean clothes for you, they will be too big for you but we don't really have better. When you're ready come to the kitchen. See you then.

She was so weird… he had no idea what was going on in her head. It was frightening.

He nodded sternly and took the towel and clothes the woman handed to him and watched her heels walk out of the room. After the door had been closed he raised his head a little.

Somehow the woman was like a distant image of his mother.

* * *

"Morning, honey", Roy said and kissed Riza's cheek after he woke up and found his girlfriend putting bread, butter and cheese to the table. "Getting ready for breakfast?"

"Yes", she purred back and gave him a gentle smile. You can already sit down and start if you want to. Orange juice is over there", she said and pointed at a bottle standing on her left. Roy smiled.

"Thanks. I hear the shower's on?" he said as he grabbed the bottle and sat on one of the chairs. Riza nodded.

"He's showering. I'm going to clean the couch now. After he has eaten we should be ready to leave." She shook her head. "And tomorrow back to work… It's nice to see everyone again."

"Yeah. Though I still prefer holidays", Roy stated as he bit a piece of his bread. Riza laughed.

"Everyone does. But people still have to work."

She grabbed a wet rag and started to rub sand out of the couch and to the floor from where she swapped it away.

"Has he said a word?" Roy asked after a while. Riza shook her head.

"No. You weren't even expecting it, were you?"

"No. Something in him tells me that he isn't going to talk. It isn't really helping us to find his family. It might get complicated", he said. "Maybe we should make it sure for him that the quicker he talks the sooner he'll get at home?"

"You can talk to him when he gets out of the shower."

Roy snorted. "Thanks for the support."

* * *

The clothes were too big. Well it wasn't like he had expected anything else anyway.

The shirt was probably from the woman, it couldn't possibly fit to the man. It was a simple brown T-shirt. The shorts that went over his knees were absolutely the man's. Luckily he had the belt.

He tried to move his bangs behind his ears but they fell out almost instantly. Fine! Not then! Stupid hair. It was now cleaner but it was wet and had messy knobs. Well he couldn't remember the last time it didn't have knobs, but anyway. It didn't make him like it.

He straightened up and drew in a deep breath trying to calm himself down before opening the door. As he did he let his gaze fall to his toes and walked to the kitchen as it was commanded. He heard talking but couldn't really make out what they were saying. Not that he really tried to, he wasn't allowed to listen to people's conversations. He wasn't allowed to be curious.

"Morning", he heard the man saying. He nodded as an answer and bowed slightly. The man sighed.

"There's no reason to bow. Just get here and eat."

Hmm. Had the man warmed up during the night? He wasn't as cold as before. But he couldn't still feel exactly welcomed around him. Not that there had been any reason to be welcomed around him. Not around anyone.

He followed the order and sat down to the nearest chair, taking hesitantly a piece of bread and starting to eat it. God, he was hungry. He hadn't even noticed how his stomach had been screaming. It had been about a day since his last meal. And it hadn't been much then either. He wondered if Al was getting any food. He wished he wasn't getting punished because of him.

"Don't you want any butter or cheese?" the man asked. He shook his head firmly. "You don't like it?"

At that point he had to stop to think for a while. Like? Hmm, what did the word mean..? Was it… yeah, it had something to do with good and bad. Liking was good. Yeah. Did he like cheese? …No. Butter? …He didn't know. Wow, it was great to actually think about his own opinion. He allowed himself to have an inner smile but showed nothing to the man. He just nodded as he finished the bread.

They sat still for a while before the man sighed. "You can take as many as you want. You look hungry."

He gave another inner smile and grabbed another slice of bread. He was _starving_. It wasn't a nice feeling. No, he didn't _like_ it. It was bad. Yeah, it was bad for him. Made him feel funny. In a negative way.

After he had eaten five slices he felt a little bad. He was still hungry but at the same time full. He hadn't probably gotten used to so much food. Yeah, that was it. He wasn't used to good. He was used to bad. Good was rare. Very rare.

The woman came to them and sat next to the man. He led his glance focus on the edge of the table in the middle of them.

The man hawked uncomfortably. "You know… we can't get you back to your family soon if we don't know your name. Can you tell it? You don't have to say anything else if you don't want to. But we'd really appreciate to know the name."

He thought about it. Otherwise he wouldn't be getting home soon? He needed to get to home, right? But the man was probably furious. If he'd come home too soon he'd just get himself killed. That was for sure. And it wasn't like he was sure if he was able to talk anyway. He actually talked in years if he ignored yesterday. How did people make noises… hmm… it had something to do with the mouth and the throat. Yeah. And air? He was starting to get confused. How could he talk?

"Just your name, sweetie. You must have a name. What do people call you?" the woman continued after a while. "I am Riza. Riza Hawkeye. And this is Roy Mustang. Who are you?"

He felt a little irritated. They were talking like he was just some stupid kid who didn't understand a word. Well he hadn't actually given them a reason to think anything else but still. He wasn't a little kid…

When he didn't answer the adults started changing their positions uncomfortably. He wouldn't get beaten, would he? Keeping his mouth shut had been a rule, after all. It was one of the top rules. He couldn't ignore it because of a _question_ by two strangers. He felt scared when he thought about the word. Strangers were bad. Really bad. There was no good thing about it. Strangers meant pain. It meant pain at home. Pain hurt.

"Do you remember your name?" the woman asked. He blinked but managed to make it look natural. Did he remember his name? What was it? How long ago had he been called by this "name"? It was long ago… His mother had done that a lot had she…? What was it again… He knew this, he just needed to remember it…

Yes! That was it. Edward. Or Ed. Ed was probably a nickname. Edward was the name. So he did remember it, he wasn't as stupid as the woman thought!

As he still made no movement the woman sighed sadly and stood up. "We better get going then, do we?" she asked the man. Ed assumed that he had nodded because he hadn't heard a word and the woman started to lift bags up. The man took the rest and motioned him to follow so he did.

The adults put the bags in a weird, huge, dark blue thing and the man pulled it so a piece of it broke and was left hanging. He watched wondering what the hell was going on.

"Get in", the man said. He got shocked. Get in? That thing? It was broken, he couldn't get in it, it would probably break down and he'd die and he wouldn't be able to save Al! No! This wasn't right, he didn't deserve this punishment! He hung his head and took a hesitant step forwards. One more. One more. He was right next to the thing and looked in it fearfully.

It had something that reminded him of a couch in it and two chair like things. And he could see out from the windows. And now that he looked closer that thing that the man had broken reminded him of a door. Though it was a really weird and small door. He stepped in hesitantly, wondering if he needed to make space for the man who slammed the door shut so he almost jumped out of fear. His eyes did widen even though he didn't really like it. He was caged in this small room. It wasn't fun. This was smaller than his room. He leaned back and watched from the window as the man and woman opened or broke the other door-like things and sat down to the chairs in front of him and slammed the doors shut again.

What the hell was going on? Why were they sitting in this uncomfortable small thing? Was this a stupid game or something?

The man and the woman did something and he heard a click. The woman looked back to see him sitting confusedly on the backseat, trembling slightly. This was one of the most horrible things in his life. He was absolutely terrified.

"You should fasten your seatbelt", the woman said. He stared at his feet confusedly. What? Fasten what? What was a seatbelt? What _was_ this room?

"Have you ever been in a car?" she asked gently, receiving a shook of his head from the kid. She shook her head and stepped out of the thing. He could see her behind his window. The door-thing opened again. He almost jumped out but the woman pushed him back.

"Calm down. This is a car, you don't have to be afraid of it. And this-", she took a black belt from his left, "-is a seatbelt. Before we start the car you put it like this-", she slipped it over him and pushed the metallic part in a weird thing on his right so it clicked, "and then we can go. Just relax, alright?" she said and slammed the door-thing shut again. He felt a small drop of sweat on his forehead. He didn't like this "car" thing at all so far and this "seatbelt" was very uncomfortable, it was like he was bound up in the chair. He didn't like it. He hated to be caged. How long did he have to be this way?

The woman sat on the front again and put on her seatbelt. He watched as the man slid a key in the thing. God no, they weren't planning to lock them up in here, were they?

He jumped as he heard a terrible roar and the car thing started trembling. Was it alive? Was it angry? Why were the adults sitting normally on the front, weren't they afraid!? Were they stupid?! The thing was snarling, damn it, it wasn't fun! He wanted to get out! He tried to stand up but the woman motioned him to sit down.

"Stay where you are, this is completely normal. Nothing bad is going to happen. We'll just be moving fast. Just sit there", she said. The man seemed to be shaking his head and he watched out of the window as the scenery started to fly by. He felt ill and his head was spinning. He squeezed his thighs strongly and clenched his teeth, trying to stay calm. He didn't like this, no, he didn't like this at all. This was bad. He didn't like this, this was really, _really_ bad.

He closed his eyes to feel better but the loud roaring noise, the trembling seat and the choking seatbelt weren't helping at all. He was feeling very ill. He was feeling bad. No, he was feeling horrible. He was sick. This thing called "car" made him sick. He was nauseous and he couldn't push it away.

"Are you alright?" the man asked. He opened his eyes and saw accidentally the man's dark blue eyes from a small mirror. He assumed the question was directed to him. He lowered his head and shook it. The woman turned to see back.

"You look a little green. Are you feeling ill?" she asked worriedly. He nodded furiously.

"Pull it over Roy."

"I should've guessed…" the man muttered. After a while the roaring stopped and everything was still again. He was still feeling bad. The man left the car and opened his door-thing as well. He pushed a button and the seatbelt was away. He jumped out of the car as quickly as he could and took in several deep breaths, trying to stand on his shaking feet. The man tapped his shoulder.

"If you need to go to puke, there are some bushes you can use."

He shook his head and kept breathing deep. After a few breaths he felt a disgusting feeling coming up his throat and he swallowed it back and walked to the bushes the man had pointed and gave up holding his hair back. It tasted horrible. His head ached.

It took a while before they could continue and they had to pull over to let Edward catch his breath every now and then which made their journey slow. At one point they stopped to eat something but he refused of all the food. It was one of the most horrible days in his life. It was more of a torture than all the beatings. He started to get used to it more after several hours but he still got nauseous.

Roy and Riza had been planning to be back at Central at four o'clock but it was nine p.m. when they finally reached it. Ed was looking fearfully out of his window.

There were bright lights, people, cars and massive buildings everywhere. Nothing seemed _normal_. It was horrifying. And it was noisy too. He felt like moving uncomfortably in his seat but instead of doing so he forced himself to sit calmly and take in everything he saw around him.

He didn't like the place at all.

He didn't even see many trees and barely anywhere was grass, there was this weird stony thing everywhere! The buildings were sometimes so high that he was afraid that they would just break and fall over him and all the people around and he saw some people fighting on the streets and many people seemed drunk. He hated drunken people. They did violent things. They caused pain and he didn't like it. And the lights burned his eyes in the dark. And he couldn't see the stars. And there was a horrible smell of something in the air.

They pulled over again, the man and the woman getting out of the car. He still sat in, not sure if he was allowed to leave the small room in the car yet. He stretched his fingers nervously.

He heard sounds of arguing. He hated arguing, it made people angry. Angry people were a bad thing. When people got angry they started hitting. He couldn't stand it.

The man sat back in the car again, looking furious. He slammed the door shut loudly and started the car again. Ed didn't dare to move in case he would get beaten up because of it. Something in the man's appearance told him that the man was blaming him for his mood. It was never a good thing.

It took them about five minutes to stop again, this time the man opening his door as well, motioning him to get up as he walked back to take the bags. Ed fought with the seatbelt button for a moment before he managed to open it and get out. The man slammed the door shut after him and locked the door with the key. After that he slipped the key in his pocket and lifted his bags up again.

"This way", he snarled as he started walking towards one of the big buildings. They stepped in and walked forwards before the man stopped before the funny metallic thing in the wall and pushed a button. Ed looked around not showing his curiosity for why they were just standing there before there was a weird noise and the metallic things in the wall opened, revealing a small room again. Ed looked at it suspiciously. He was sick of these small rooms which had barely enough room to breathe.

The man stepped in and he followed unwillingly and watched as the man pushed a button. The metallic things closed and the man pulled him further away from them as the wall started moving. He got a weird feeling in his stomach. Well it was as bad as the car…

The things opened again and the man stepped out, Ed following right behind him. The man stopped before a door and took the keys from his pocket again and pushed one in and turned it before opening the door leading him to a small apartment.

"Wait here", the man snarled as he closed the door and started to drag his bags to one of the rooms, leaving Ed standing by the door, looking at a mirror in the wall. After a brief moment the man came back.

"Get your shoes off and follow me", he said as he kicked his own off. Ed took his own off hesitantly and put them tidily next to a pile of shoes and hurried after the man who opened another room.

"This is the guest room and you can sleep here before we find your family", he said. "It's already ready because Riza spent the night before we went to the cottage here. I hope you don't mind, but I'm sleepy and I have to go to work tomorrow so I'm not changing the sheets. If you want something to eat or drink you better get it now because when I go to sleep I want it to be silent. Understood?"

Ed nodded and hung his head again, looking at his toes. The man sighed.

"Don't be that humble… it's unnatural…" he muttered and walked out of the door. Ed felt ashamed.

He didn't go to drink or eat anything but crawled under the sheets and buried his head in the soft pillow. He felt the wall protectively against his back.

He wondered how Al was doing.

The scent of the kind woman was filling his nose.

* * *

Roy turned over on his bed again, feeling angry.

Reason one: Riza had made _him_ take care of the kid. He didn't really like kids that much. And it was Riza anyway who had chosen to look after him before they found his parents. She should've taken him, damn it. He felt like a dog following orders.

Reason two: he had been so angry, that he had been very rude and cold to the boy. Yes, he felt bad about it. The boy was probably having hard time enough but him snarling at him was probably not helping at all. The boy was like a scared puppy anyway.

Reason three: the kid himself. Yes, he was causing all his troubles. He had ruined the proposal, he had made his life harder _and_ now he had to stand sensing the boy's feelings all the time. It wasn't fun, this kid had troubles being happy! And his cold attitude wasn't helping it either!

He was just so pissed off right now. He had thought that tonight he'd have Riza with a ring on her finger maybe under the same roof, but no. He had a bloody kid that hadn't even known what a car was on the guest room.

What good would ever come out of this?

* * *

I'll see when I can update again! Until then, review?

And it was so much fun to write about Ed and the car! **>xD**


	3. Fascinating new sides

Yay, I got to update again! I hope you'll enjoy it but as I wrote it for three days it might be a little messed up at some points becuase my ideas might've changed. I hope not!

And thanks for everyone who reviewed, I'll never get sick of saying this: It really means _a lot_ for me. Every single review makes me smile. They just have that effect. So I hope I'll keep getting them!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 3  
**__Fascinating new sides_

Ed woke up early but decided to still rest for a while.

Even though he usually didn't get a chance to follow this bit of his personality, he was incredibly lazy. He rather thought of lying in his bed maybe with a good book than actually getting up and working so hard he got sweaty and exhausted. No, he really preferred taking everything easily. When the man had been on a few day trips to somewhere he had followed his instincts and just grabbed a book from the shelf and read. And cooked for Al. And then returned to the book.

Unfortunately after their mum's death their father had burned almost everything that reminded them of her. The novels had gone with that. So all he had had left had been theoretic books about alchemy. Not that he minded, he loved them. They gave him a chance to test his intellect. He found it fun. Al read the books too.

But there were no books in this room and he didn't dare to leave the room in case it happened to be forbidden so after a while he sat up his back against the cool wall, sighing heavily. He wished he'd know what time it was. Judging by the dark scenery behind the window it was still very early. He stretched his arms and grunted silently.

He smiled dreamily and fell in his thoughts again. What would it be like to talk? If he'd talk now very quietly nobody would hear, right? It'd be a moment just for him. Something for him to remember. He smiled and opened his mouth but closed it soon when he realized that he had no idea what he could say. After a few seconds he opened his mouth again. He should whisper not to wake the man up, wherever he was sleeping.

"I can talk", he whispered hoarsely. He smiled happily. He had already forgotten what his voice sounded like! "I can remember!" he chuckled and moved his hand over his mouth. "Boo!" he whispered happily, feeling the air hit his hand and chuckled. This was fun, why hadn't he done this in years?

Oh yeah. Because of the orders. He hung his head and his smile melted away. Oh, how much he hated the orders. And oh how much he hated what happened when he disobeyed them.

He let his hand brush the cool wall gently. What did these new people think about him? Were they testing him so he would slip and then beat him or were they really treating him like a human? They had been so nice, no matter how little he had talked. What he hated the most in them was probably the fact that they treated him like he was a stupid, lost, 4 year old kid. What about it if he hadn't really grown that much!? It wasn't his fault!

He felt his hands clenching to tight fists and his cheeks burned from anger. Keeping it all locked in was the worst. But he had learned to do it. He had many bad memories from the times he was learning. His fist twitched. After a few seconds of battle he crashed it to the pillow so he wouldn't make a noise and cursed "Fuck him!" under his breath.

Of course it had to be just then when the door opened. He jumped out of fear and covered his head.

"Did you just say something? And why were you hitting the pillow?" the man asked curiously as he stepped in the room. "You can talk but you just don't want to talk, is that it?"

Ed bit his lip and lowered his head. Damn it, he had just handed himself to hungry lions. The man crossed his hands.

"I'd really appreciate to have you at least talking if you live under the same roof", he muttered. "And act a little less humble. Don't lower your head when I step in the room, it's annoying, I feel like you would be afraid of me. I don't like it, I don't see what I've really done for you. And you can just watch me in the eyes; we're both humans, right?"

He hesitated. Should he..? It would be nice wouldn't it..?

He raised his head slowly and met the onyx eyes hesitantly and felt an embarrassing blush on his cheeks. How long ago had it been again that he had meaningfully looked in to other person than Al's eyes?

The man smiled with a little more gently and sat next to him on the bed.

He raised his hand.

Ed covered his head but the man only patted his head gently for a while before Ed gave up with his defending and looked hesitantly up in the man's eyes again.

"Well, I came here to invite you to eat breakfast. Get up, we don't have time to just sit around, I've got to go to work", he said and stood up, pulling Ed gently up from his hands as well and started leading him out of the room.

Ed felt a small smile on his face again as he followed. The man had put juice and bread on the table.

"I wish I would be able to feed you better, but as you aren't talking to me I can't really know what you like. So you've got to deal with that."

Ed sat down, feeling grateful enough for all the bread he was already given. And juice. At home all he got to drink was water. This was in a way pretty much like heaven.

How funny. He didn't even really believe in heaven!

He grabbed a slice of bread and started eating it. He felt more like on ease. The man was looking at him while he ate too but the look didn't feel bad. It was gentler than he was used to. It did make him a little awkward and cautious but he still enjoyed it. But he made sure not to show it in case it was forbidden.

He ate quickly three slices of bread before he was full and looked up hesitantly answering to the man's curious gaze with a hesitant one. Every time the man twitched he turned his glance quickly away before he after a while got brave enough to look again.

He enjoyed looking him into his blue eyes. Reminded him of other people's eyes he managed to remember. A girl with big light blue eyes stood out strongly. As the memories came back to him he hung his head slightly again and started spinning his feet that didn't barely touch the floor. But that was because the chair was huge, of course.

The man stood up and started to put the food away. Ed moved in his chair slightly nervously seeing someone else doing his job. It felt unnatural. It was wrong and wrong was bad.

The man turned to him again. "Hmm. I think you should change your clothes. I think I have clothes from my childhood in some boxes in my room. Let's go and check if anything fits you. You can't follow me to work in a woman's shirt and way too bug shorts.

Ed felt an angry blush on his cheeks as he followed the man. He had gotten insulted again! He hated insults. But there wasn't really anything he could do.

The man took some boxes from his wardrobe and opened them, revealing teen-ager's clothes. Ed looked curiously at the dark clothes. Roy smiled nervously.

"I was quite 'bad' boy when I was younger so I don't really have anything people would call "normal"… I hope you won't mind. So, let's try to find something that can fit you."

They started looking for fitting clothes but Roy had probably been quite different bodied compared to Ed when he had been younger and all the shirts were too big. Most of the pants were too big too. Finally they found something that actually fit at least somehow: black leather pants. Every shirt was unfortunately too big so they ended up with a black sleeveless shirt and a black jacket with white linings. To finish it they found a red coat with a strange symbol in the back. Ed looked nervously in the mirror as he waited for the man to dress up so they could go. He moved his long golden hair behind his back and crossed his hand. The leather boots in his feet were feeling weird too. Roy had said he couldn't walk around in damp clothes all day.

The man came from his room, pulling a blue coat with a funny amount of badges on and slipped his feet in his boots carelessly. Ed raised mentally his eyebrows. The man tapped his shoulder.

"Okay, here we go. Follow me", he said and opened the door, letting Ed out at first. He followed the unsaid order and stopped a few meters from the door so the man would be able to leave the apartment with his own space around him as well. The man locked the door and walked to the metallic thing on the wall again. Ed grunted in his mind as the man pushed the button again. He didn't like this thing one bit.

As the thing started moving down again he leaned barely to the wall, feeling the man's glance burning his neck. He didn't like people staring. They didn't usually do it. And with his new clothes he felt even more uncomfortable. It wasn't that they weren't comfortable on him, it was just that they stood out in the crowd way too much for his liking.

Roy lead him to the car again and he followed the instructions he had gotten at the first time, leaning nervously to the window watching the scenery fly by seeing glimpses of all kinds of people doing all kinds of things. He hadn't really seen other people in ages. And dogs either, now he saw at least one around every corner. Small ones, large ones, fluffy ones, curly ones, slim ones, fat ones. He loved them all and enjoyed seeing every single one of them. He already managed to forget that he was in the stupid car thing before Roy pulled over and motioned him to step out as well which he did gladly.

He looked up to a huge, white building and took a few steps back just so he could see it better, which he didn't. He didn't even notice how his mouth dropped.

That was probably one of the biggest and most elegant buildings of all he had seen. And people wearing same blue clothes as the man he was with. Some of the people were looking at him coldly and he didn't like the coldness and anger in many people's eyes. So this was where this man worked? He didn't like it one bit. But he still followed the man, making sure not to be left behind because he was afraid what the others would do. Somehow that man's tall appearance was making him feel protected. The man looked back at him and he lowered his head but he raised it gently.

"Don't be so shy. I'm sure you'll love my crew, Riza will be there too. I'll introduce you to everyone, okay? Can you tell me your name so I can tell then your name too?" he asked really nicely. Ed hesitated and after a while shook his head. The man sighed.

"Don't be so quiet. I heard you talking this morning, I'm sure I did. Why not just say something? It must be nerve-cracking to just keep your mouth shut all day long."

He blushed slightly but still shook his head. These things happening, they were just coming way too fast. He hadn't gotten used to his new weird freedom. He didn't want to be rude or anything but he just didn't feel like talking. And he didn't want to reveal something accidentally. The man sighed and nodded before opening the door, letting Ed in a big room with a long table which had four men and a woman around it. He recognized the woman immediately and blushed slightly again. Everyone was staring at him. Roy swallowed.

"Alright guys, don't let this little-"

Ed's eye twitched but he held back a huge urge to smack the man's head.

"-fellow keep you from doing your work." He turned to Ed, kneeled down and started pointing at the men "That is Fuery, that is Havoc, Breda and Falman. They won't do anything to you, but I need to ask you not to interrupt their work, alright?"

He nodded automatically and tried to follow him to his desk but the woman, who was apparently being called "Riza", waved her hand inviting him to come over. He looked at Roy hesitantly who smiled before going. She hugged him when she was near enough.

"Hello, you little fellow. How have you been?" she asked nicely before taking some of his hair in her hand. "Hmm. I think we should brush your hair and put it up somehow. I have a brush and some rubber bands in my bag. What would you think about it?"

He was a little hesitant before nodding. Of course it would be great to have a tidy hair but he hadn't actually had his hair held up in a long time. He didn't even know how to do it. The woman took what she needed from her back and took Ed on her lap where he sat uncomfortably.

"Tell me if this hurts, alright? Just squeeze my hand or something, you don't have to talk to if you don't want to. Here I go…"

She started running the brush gently and quickly through his hair, fighting with all the knobs he had. It didn't really hurt though it didn't feel extremely good either. But the woman was so quick that he didn't really have time to even think about one stroke, not even talking about the pain.

When she was finished brushing it she moved her hand to put the rubber band but stopped in the middle of her action thinking for a while before she let the hair fall and down again and started braiding it. The blond man, Havoc, chuckled from the other side of the table.

"Giving him a girl's hairstyle, Hawkeye, you have a bad taste", he laughed and Ed blushed out of embarrassment. The woman snorted.

"So do you for having that cigarette in your mouth all the time. It isn't a good example for a kid."

Havoc's face dropped and all the men in the room laughed. The red head called Breda yelled "Never mess with people smarter than you!" and Havoc crossed his hands angrily, seeming to fall in self-pity. The woman finished braiding the hair and let Ed examine it.

"What do you think?" she asked as Ed ran his hand over the braid. Ed smiled. It felt fun this way. Though his short bangs were already falling out of it, it still kept most of his hair out of his way. The woman looked at his smile. "You like it?"

He nodded and the men in the room chuckled again, trying to hide themselves behind their papers not to let Riza see them. Ed felt a little like laughing too. It was a funny feeling.

"But now I have to return to work, if you want you can sit on the couch."

He nodded as an answer and sat to the couch, looking at the men going to question the woman. Probably about him. But he wasn't allowed to be curious so he turned his gaze to look out of the window. Roy tapped his shoulder and he looked up quickly.

"You want to draw something? It must be boring to just sit around and I have enough pens and papers here", he said as he handed him a little pile of papers and a pen. Ed smiled again. He felt like smiling a lot at these days. He was excited. Roy chuckled.

"Have fun", he said as he walked back to his desk. Ed took the pen firmly in his hand, moving it a little to really feel it in his hand anymore. He laid the pen on the paper and started to draw.

How did it go again the one he wanted to draw? A circle, some texts and a square. Yeah, that was it.

He took a simple candle from the table and positioned it in the circle he had drawn before laying his hands on it and letting the energy that warmed his hands flow through his body to activate the array.

People looked up.

He focused. This one was going to be more beautiful than ever. The carvings, the shapes, the edges, the feelings. This one was going to be his best.

He removed his hands from the array and picked up the candle, now changed to more elegant with even some colours in it that had came from the ink on the table. It had been a long time since his last one. He smiled as he examined his work.

"…You can do alchemy?" Roy asked as he reached the couch again, looking at the array and the candle. Ed nodded.

"But… but that one is spectacular. And you're still young. How come you can do something like that?" the man asked, still confused. Ed was getting hesitant if he was complimented or lectured. He offered the candle back and Roy took it, looking at it before patting his head.

"It's really good. I can see you've done this before?"

He nodded, feeling nervous because everyone else in the room was deadly silent, listening to their conversation.

"Can you do something else?" the man asked again. He nodded nervously.

"Can you show me?" he asked again. Ed was hesitant.

"…What can I transmute?" he asked silently. Everyone's jaw dropped and Ed blushed.

"You… you talked?" Roy asked still unbelieving. Ed nodded hesitantly. Roy smiled. "That's great! And you can transmute everything you want but if it's something important you'll have to transmute it back."

Ed started scribbling to the paper again, before finishing the array and laid it on the table before activating it. After a while there was an alive-looking pretty small Roy-statue. Small because the ingredients hadn't been enough for a life-sized one. Roy stared.

"Wow, that's good." Ed scribbled another array and changed the table back.

"From where did you learn alchemy?" he asked. Ed raised his shoulders.

"…Books?"

"But books are hard. You had to have a teacher, right?"

"…No…"

Everyone stared at him. Breda laughed.

"Colonel, you just got beaten by a mere child. You were eighteen when you started and it took you a month before you could transmute something simple and your teacher had helped you a lot. That kid competes in a way better set!"

"Don't get cocky, Heymans Breda!" Roy snarled back and Ed backed away a little in case he had went too far with been better than the Colonel at his age. The man turned back, patting his shoulder.

"That was really well done then, little fellow."

Ed's eye twitched again and his hands clenched to fists in his pocket but he tried hard not to show anything.

"Do whatever you want. I need to go back working."

Ed went on drawing arrays and transmuting little meaningless gifts for everyone in the room, happy for seeing their smiles.

* * *

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!" Breda bellowed several hours later at lunch break and Ed jumped back out of reflex, protecting his head as he did so. Hawkeye stepped in, holding Ed protectively against her as the boy buried his head on her stomach.

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING TO A CHILD, BREDA?!"

Falman straightened up. "He just got beaten in chess, lieutenant. By a kid."

Hawkeye raised her head to see a other officers laughing their heads off further away from the action scene. She smiled as well.

"By a kid, huh, Breda?"

Breda crossed his hands. "I was being easy for him", he said stubbornly.

"Absolutely, judging by your sweating", Havoc chuckled.

Ed deserved a pat on the head from everyone else except for Breda that day.

* * *

Yay! I made Ed say _something_ though it isn't much.  
I was planning to write next a chappy where Ed's back is explained but sorry, it won't come yet **xD **One chappy and then probably. It'll be sort of like flashbacks I guess, I haven't really decided yet.

Review, pleaaaase!


	4. One word brings two more

Hello again!

I apologize for taking so long. Two words should explain why it took so long: School, friends. Yup, they do take time. But I'll keep working with this anyway. But thanks to all reviewers and readers anyway.

More angst in this chappy. **>:D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 4  
**__One word brings __two more_

That night Riza had come over to Roy to eat dinner with them. She was cooking, Roy talking to her on his seat and Ed transmuting some of the macaronis to a new shape. He made flowers, stars, cats, dogs, hands, circles and buttons. Riza and Roy always encouraged him, telling how good they were. He had a small smile dancing on his lips as he positioned yet another macaroni on the array.

"You really like alchemy, don't you?" Roy asked him as he tossed teddy-shaped macaroni in the pile. Ed nodded as an answer as he took another one.

"Can you tell us what's your name?" the woman asked. Ed shook his head.

"Why?" Roy started again. It hadn't been the first time since he had muttered the words in his office. He didn't react. "I'm sure it's a really nice name. You want to go home, right? I can assure you that telling your name will fasten the progress of finding your parents."

"Parent", Ed said back as he transmuted another heart-shaped macaroni. "Do you like it?" he asked as he showed it to Roy who took it in his hand smiling, barely even looking at it.

"Yeah, it's great. What happened to your other parent?"

Riza shot him an angry look as Ed took another macaroni a little more robotic way. "She died", he said silently as he handed him a bunny-shaped macaroni. "You like this?"

"…R-Really much", Roy muttered and put the macaronis in Ed's pile and watching the kid pick up a new one. The blue light flashed again and Ed put a sock-shaped macaroni away.

"Why don't you want to tell us your name?" Riza asked after a while. Ed shook his head.

"Just don't", he answered simply. Riza sighed.

"It's really hard to call you just 'you' and 'he'. We would really appreciate to know your name. At least a nickname. Please?" she asked nicely. Ed looked up hesitantly.

"You can't make out my name from my nickname, can you?" Ed asked hesitantly, taking a better position in his chair. Roy shook his head.

"Most likely not. And many people have same names in here."

Ed transmuted another macaroni before answering. "…It's Ed."

"Ed?" the woman asked. "That's a beautiful nickname."

Ed nodded hesitantly before yawning. He hadn't really slept that well last night and his muscles still ached from swimming for over 12 hours a few days before. It hurt if he tried to move his shoulders back.

"Roy, can you put everything ready? This'll be ready in about five minutes."

Ed put the macaronis away and sat still as he watched the adults put the plates and other things on the table and laid the food on the table. Ed looked curiously up to see noodles and chicken.

"You like it?" Riza asked worriedly and he nodded. He had a distant memory of loving noodles. Hmm… actually he might've been obsessed to them… Anyway, they brought back blurry but good memories. Riza smiled as she saw his excited face and put quite a lot of food on his plate. Really nicely done, Ed thought happily.

As Riza and Roy started Ed examined the food with his gaze before putting it in his mouth, absolutely thrilled. It tasted brilliant! No wonder he had loved noodles! They were really, _really_ good!

Roy and Riza smiled. A few hours after the lunch they suggested Ed to go to sleep as he started to slowly lean forwards dangerously looking like he'd fall any minute.

* * *

"Well, he's talking a little now…" Riza sighed. "That's improvement."

Roy nodded and curled his arm around Riza. "Yeah, that's good. Maybe soon he'll tell his real name and where he comes from. Then everything will go back to normal."

Riza trembled. "Yeah… back to normal…"

Roy looked at her suspiciously. "You want it to go back to what it was, right? And you know that even if you'd want to, you can't really keep him. His father is somewhere there, probably worrying sick of him."

"I know, Roy, but he's such a nice little boy. And I'm curious about him. He's started to open up but I can't help still noticing some of his reactions. Somehow I feel like he's gotten beaten up regularly."

Roy sighed. "He might've gotten kidnapped and abused badly."

Riza buried her head deeper in Roy's chest. "Do you think we should take him to the hospital for a check-up?"

"That's a good idea. What about tomorrow after work?"

"Yeah… But I've got to go home now", she yawned as she stood up and kissed him. "I'll see you at work. Don't be late."

"I won't", Roy answered as he walked her to the door. She fluffed his hair.

"I'll see you then. Bye!"

"See you… Riza." Roy said as he closed the door and sighed.

His girlfriend was really worried and determined to find out what happened. But she wouldn't start pushing the boy over the edge before he was ready. Roy knew it. She wasn't the type. And the boy… _Ed_ was still very vulnerable. When he had been too humble, he had been vulnerable. But opening up made him even more vulnerable. So he needed protection. Protection only the two of them were able to give him now.

Something was warming up around Ed.

* * *

"…Do you think we should take him to the hospital for a check-up?"

Ed curled up and watched the bright line of light coming under his door. He felt cold shivers running up and down his spine. He didn't like the adults' conversation one bit.

"That's a good idea. What about tomorrow after work?"

Ed growled dangerously and hid himself under his sheets. He listened as the conversation ended and the door was closed. He hissed furiously as he buried his teeth to his pillow to get rid of his anger.

Oh, how much he hated hospitals. He hated the smell, the doctors and the check-ups. He had avoided them since he was little and he hadn't been forced to any check-up in many years. And now those two were planning to drag him in there. He didn't like the idea one bit.

He ran his hand over his swollen cheek and some bruises on his neck.

The adults wouldn't probably be happy to see them.

And if the case was going to develop even worse, they were going to realise where they had come from. The man would get angry. He would hurt Al.

He couldn't allow it to happen!

There _had_ to be a way out of this.

* * *

Next morning Roy came to Ed's room the kid had already dressed up, a braid hanging loosely and pretty tidily against his neck. He had a distant look in his eyes and the dark circles under them revealed the lack of sleep. Roy sighed.

"You know, when you go to sleep you should sleep. Lack of sleep isn't healthy. You need to gather energy", he said as he walked next to the kid, snapping him out of his thoughts. Ed nodded with a light blush, rubbing his eyes.

Roy sensed anger and fear. His eye twitched out of reflex.

"You alright, Ed?" he asked as he hugged him. The kid nodded.

"Don't lie to me, alright?" he said strictly. Ed nodded again.

"Are you angry for some reason?" Roy asked. Ed's eyes flashed a bright light before they returned to normal. He shook his head.

It was all done as the rules told him to do: if you have something to complain about, don't bother. Be humble.

Roy smiled hesitantly. "Alright, let's get breakfast. You can probably sleep at work. I'll tell the crew to be quiet so they won't bother you. Does that sound good?"

Ed nodded knowing that no matter what, he wasn't allowing himself to sleep.

His little brother trusted in him. His little brother didn't even know that he was alive. He was scared that he would worsen the situation. If Al would get hurt, he would never forgive himself.

Al was probably already hurt…

He lowered his head in shame. Why couldn't he be a better older brother?

* * *

Ed rested his head in one of the small pillows in the couch, trying hard to keep himself awake. It was so sot and comfortable and it was so quiet..!

He yawned and grunted as he forced himself to turn and keep his eyes even slightly open. He forced himself to think. He thought about Al. He thought about all.

His eyes started to lose focus…

_No!_ He was _not_ allowing himself to fall asleep. He didn't want to wake up in a hospital. He needed to avoid it. And being asleep would get him there probably in less than ten minutes. He wasn't going to the damn hospital; he wasn't allowing anyone to take him in there! He couldn't risk Al. He _wouldn't _risk Al.

A shadow was upon him. He raised his head and opened his eyes slightly more, feeling them burning. Riza smiled to him.

"Can't you sleep?" she asked gently as she kneeled down. Ed shook his head as an answer.

"Is there something bothering you? You can tell me if there is, maybe after getting to tell it to someone it'll bother you less and you can sleep", she tried but Ed shook his head again.

"You really sure nothing's wrong?" she asked again. Ed nodded against the truth and smiled faintly.

"Alright… Well, sleep well", Riza said as she went back to her papers.

After a couple of minutes Ed was asleep.

* * *

Someone was shaking him slightly. He grunted and opened his eyes, feeling a little more alerted. Roy smiled to him as he caressed his hair.

"Good to see you're awake. Listen, Riza and I have been talking and-"

Alright, here it comes…, Ed thought angrily. He wasn't allowing it, he would say it to them face-to-face. He wasn't going to any damn check-ups!

"-we've decided that it would be best if we'd take you to a hospital to let them check your health. That bruise on your cheek doesn't look so good", he finished with a worrying tone. Ed shook his head.

"Are you trying to say something?" Riza asked. Ed drew in a deep breath. He might got beaten… but he had to do it.

"I'm not going to the hospital", he said and hung his head, waiting for the adults to blow. It was silent for a while. Then the woman kneeled down and hugged him.

"We really need to take you there, we can't be sure if you've gotten badly hurt so we can't notice it. It's for your best, it won't be that bad-"

"I'm not going", Ed repeated. Roy sighed.

"Don't make me force you…" he muttered tiredly. Ed pushed the woman away.

"I'm not going!" he yelled.

"There's nothing bad in a hospital, you'll see. And if you want, we can stand right by your side. Nothing bad is going to happen in there. They're just going to make sure that you're healthy", she said gently. Ed kept shaking his head.

"I can't go, I _won't_ go", Ed growled. Roy raised his eyebrows, surprised by the sudden show of emotions Ed was giving to them.

"Riza, you'll take his legs, I'll take his arms", he said. "He needs to be checked."

"No!" Ed screamed and jumped up trying to get away but Roy managed to get a hold of his hand. Ed jerked his hand trying to release it with no avail.

"Let go of me!" he cried out and tried to kick the man but he sidestepped and Riza lifted him up from his legs. He yelled. Roy grabbed his armpits.

"Please let go, please, it's not about me!" Ed continued to beg as they tossed him in Roy's car's backseat with Riza looking after him so he wouldn't do anything stupid. Roy locked the door.

"He'll kill him… Please don't take me there… Please…" he cried and buried his head in his thighs, trembling furiously. Riza tapped his back, obviously not hearing his words as Roy started the car. Ed sobbed silently, burying his face deeper.

He might've been going to give Al the death sentence and he couldn't help it.

* * *

"Your turn", the doctor said to them. Ed had stopped fighting and was frozen out of fear for change. He didn't know what was coming out of this and it scared the hell out of him. Riza held his hand as she led him to the room. Ed looked around fearfully.

"So, you have a time for check-up?" the doctor asked and smiled to Ed who tried to take several steps back but was held still by Riza's warm hand.

"Alright. So I'm checking if there are other bruises or something bad in his body?" the doctor asked. Roy nodded.

"Though I must warn you that he doesn't seem to like doctors…" Roy noted and turned to see Ed who was looking at them with wide eyes. The doctor nodded and smiled. He looked closer to the bruise on Ed's cheek. Ed shivered.

"This one seems to be healing well…" the doctor said. "I need to ask you to remove some of his clothing to let me see better."

Riza nodded and helped Ed to take the coat and jacket away. More bruises and a few cuts were revealed. The doctor looked checked them too. "This one seems to have gotten slightly inflected, we need to clean it."

He cleaned it but Ed didn't react to the pain at all. It was almost like he didn't really care about it.

The doctor moved his fingers. One was slightly weirdly turned and didn't move too much.

"Does this hurt?" he asked as he moved the finger slightly. Ed shook his head.

"We're going to need to x-ray that… Shirt off, please", the doctor said. Ed looked down. Roy stroke his hair and smiled encouragingly. Ed shivered as he removed the shirt slowly.

His chest and back was littered with scars and badly swollen, covered with bruises. The doctor looked at it, cleaning the inflected cuts.

Ed's legs weren't in any better state. A couple of his toes were black and didn't move much. Roy kept fluffing his hair as the doctor asked him questions.

Ed's face was motionless as they sat on the car on their way back to home.

* * *

Ed s lied on the couch, his back towards the two adults sitting on the chairs sipping coffee. He hadn't even flinched in ten minutes and Riza and Roy were starting to get worried. Not that they weren't already.

Broken bones, twisted ankle, bruises and cuts were all around the kid's body. Why hadn't they really guessed it? They had seen some of the bruises but hadn't really paid that much attention. No wonder, the kid didn't want to go to the hospital.

Riza sighed and walked to the kid and sat on the couch, next to Ed's head. He was keeping his eyes closed. Riza almost believed that he was sleeping but knew better. She curled her arms around the boy and lifted his head on her lap. Ed didn't look up.

"Do you want to tell what happened?" she asked as she caressed the boy's golden hair. Ed curled up and buried his head deeper on Riza's stomach.

"It might help if you talked", she continued. Ed didn't say anything.

"Was it your father?" she asked again and Roy's head shot up out of surprise. He saw Ed's body trembling slightly. Where had she even gotten the idea?

"We'll be here if you want to talk about it. Maybe we'd be able to help", she said, laying her hand on the boy's left side.

"Or maybe you can just tell what happened."

Ed sniffed and squeezed his jacket's collar.

"…It hurts so much…" he cried silently.

* * *

This chappy is finished _at last_. It took a long time.

And yippee, in next chappy I'll get to explain Ed's background. Mind to review? Pretty please?


	5. The past will never be forgotten

Alright. First: thanks for reviewers, I really appreciated them! And I'm really sorry for taking so long to update but I was busy with school (tests) and all that. And then I had problems with this chapter because I knew what I wanted in it, I just didn't know how.

To say a little about this chapter, these are sort of flashes from what's happened to Ed so that he remembers them strongly. It's not the whole detailed story because he doesn't remember it so even by himself. And yup, there'll be some child abuse. Mostly Ed abuse. Yippee!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 5  
**__The past will never be forgotten_

"Mum!" Ed yelled as he dragged Al with him to give flowers to their mum who turned to them from her house chores, her chestnut brown hair loosely on a pony tail. Ed and Al offered her the flowers.

"Happy Mother's day, Mum!" they yelled happily, standing side by side right before her. She smiled down at them and clapped her hands happily.

"Oh, but those are beautiful! Thank you. Let's get inside and put them in a glass so they'll last longer", she said gently and Ed and Al looked at each others happily before running ahead.

"Daddy!" they yelled as they saw the man reading a newspaper in the living room. He raised his head with a smile.

"Hello, kids. Giving flowers to your Mum?" he asked and they nodded happily. Ed showed his flowers.

"We found them on a hill. You like them?" he asked. Hohenheim nodded and Al showed his flowers.

"What about these?" Al asked, little jealous for his brother. Hohenheim laughed.

"They are gorgeous too. Both of you have found beautiful flowers, your Mum is lucky to get them."

Trisha stepped in the room with two glasses of water. "Alright, just put them in here. One at time, don't rush around."

She placed them on the kitchen table, side by side. After that she hugged her sons.

"Thank you."

* * *

The bright light flashed as Ed pressed his hands to the paper with a detailed circle and some finger paints. Trisha clapped her hands as she saw the candle Ed had remade.

"Ooh, it's beautiful! Did Daddy teach you to do that?" she asked as she petted Ed's fluffy hair. Ed shook his head.

"No, I read the books in that shelf", he said and pointed at a large self full of different sized books. "It's fun, it's so logical-"

Trisha gasped. "You learned it all by yourself?"

Ed gaped before nodding. "Al learned too…"

She placed a hand on her forehead before laughing again. "I bet even your Dad didn't learn Alchemy just like that. But the talent of it must've passed to you. He's going to be proud, Mummy's proud too. And this candle really is gorgeous", she said as she took the candle in her hand to examine it. "I heard that Winry is having her birthday tomorrow. And Mr Griffin has his birthday too after a couple of weeks. Why wouldn't you make some candles for them as presents?"

Ed gasped happily. "Can we!?"

"Yes, you can. They will _love_ them. And you can make them as Christmas presents too for everyone."

It didn't take long until the Elric boys were famous for their candles in Resembool.

* * *

"Daddy… what's wrong with Mummy?" Al asked silently as their dad came back from her room. He kneeled down and laid his hands on the boys' shoulders encouragingly.

"You Mum is just fine, she's just not feeling well today. But she'll be alright. You kids just go and play, alright?" he said and turned the two of them around. Ed bit his lip.

"Can't we see Mum?" he asked sadly but their father shook his head.

"She's resting now. She needs rest so she'll get better. Just go and play. You can ask if Winry's home."

"Would Mummy want us to go and play?" Al asked. Hohenheim nodded.

"Your Mummy would want you to go and play and be back before the sun sets down, alright? Just go and play. Have fun", he said with a slight smile. Ed and Al smiled too.

"We'll be back then! See you Daddy!" Ed yelled as they started rushing down the steps and out of the door. Ed pushed Al so he fell.

"Brother, that's cheating!" Al yelled angrily as he got up again and ran after his brother who was laughing evilly as he already knocked to Winry's door. Winry opened the door and smiled.

"Hey Ed! Is Al there too?" she asked happily. Ed pointed at the figure running quickly down the hill.

"Yup, Al's here too. Come and play with us!" he said. Al finally reached them and knocked Ed down as revenge. They started fighting who got back up first. Winry smiled and turned back to the house.

"Granny, can I play with Al and Ed?" she yelled and heard a strong voice answering before shutting the door and lifting her friends up.

"And now you're going to stop fighting or I'm getting granny's wrench to hit you. Let's play!"

They started running a race to the river. Winry was the last but Ed and Al got a draw. But that was because Ed had knocked Al over in halfway of the race.

* * *

The rain was falling from the sky as they stood in front of a gravestone. The gravestone that had their Mum's name carved in it. There were flowers everywhere and Ed and Al had brought some candles they had made for Mum.

Mum… Mum. Mum couldn't be gone. She would never be gone.

Ed squeezed Al's hand hard. It was already getting cold but it didn't really matter. He would be cold anyway. And in here he had a chance being with Mum.

Oh, how much he missed her already.

He felt a snowflake falling on his cheek and melting there, leaving his face a small drop of water, looking like he had cried. Which he hadn't. Mum wouldn't have wanted him to cry, Mum would've wanted him to be strong. Ed fluffed Al's hair out of reflex as he heard him sobbing miserably.

"Ed and Al", their father said brokenly as he turned to them and hugged them. "Go to sleep. It's late."

Ed buried his head on his father's shoulder. "But Mum… Won't Mum come..?" His father squeezed harder.

"Even though you won't see Mum, she'll see you. She'll always be here. And I bet she'd want you to go to sleep", he said.

"Really?" Al asked hoarsely. Their father let go of them and caressed their heads.

"Really."

* * *

Their father started drinking. Ed could hear the clinking of glasses and bottles as Al was already sleep but he couldn't rest. He heard him crying and it frightened him. Their father was always so strong, he still acted strong when they were around, probably trying to be their pillar. But Ed knew better.

Their father wasn't doing well. He was probably doing worse than them. He was starting to take distance to other people.

He yawned and stretched his neck as he tried to ignore the clinks. He was so sleepy but he couldn't sleep. He didn't manage to fall asleep. His eyes burned.

He buried his head in his pillow but couldn't sleep before the sun was already up and there was a knock to their door. Their father opened the door.

"Time to get up. You have school", he said. Ed sat up and rubbed his ears as Al moaned something and tried to bury himself so deep in his pillow so they wouldn't see him. Their father dragged him up.

Ed yawned and walked out of the room to get breakfast.

He didn't like the smell of alcohol still strongly around their father.

* * *

Winry snorted as they walked back from school, Ed and Al rejecting her company again.

"I know that you're still sad but playing makes it better!" she said and looked at them with her puppy eyes. Ed shook his head.

"You know that we want to play with you, Winry… It's just that Dad told us to come home right after school. He panics if we don't, I don't want him to panic…" he muttered as he lowered his head. Al nodded but Winry placed her hands on her hips.

"Go home and ask if you can come and play. Or if I can visit you. You've been told to come straight home for a month now, is it really an order or are you just trying to get rid of me? Is it that?!" she yelled angrily. "If you don't like me anymore just say it!"

"No, Winry! We do like you, we really do, and we really want to play with you. It's just that we can't. Maybe he'll get better soon, and then he'll let us come and play again. You just need to wait", Al said as he turned to see the girl better. "You're our best friend, Winry."

"I am..?"

"Yes. You're our best friend. You know, we'll ask Dad. We'll call you then how it went, okay?" Ed said as they had to turn to other directions. Winry smiled.

"Okay! I'll be waiting by the phone! Call me!" she yelled happily and started running home. Al sighed and turned to Ed.

"You know Dad won't let us go anywhere."

Ed kicked a rock. "Well we promised to try."

"That promise was bullshit. That's false hope you gave her."

"Stop it, Al. Just stop it. There's always hope. It isn't going anywhere", Ed snarled. "We always have hope."

"I know that it's good to be optimistic. I know. But I'm starting to lose it. It's not good to believe in a dream. You'll just lose your mind that way."

Ed laughed. "We aren't losing our minds. We're losing them if we give up with the hope. Then it's too dark. Hope brings light. It's a part of sanity."

Al sighed. "Yes, but we're still not going to get to play."

Ed sighed. "You're right, Al. Sorry. I won't give her empty hope again." He opened the front door.

"Dad, we're home", Al yelled as they turned the lights on. The windows and curtains were closed and the whole room was a chaos. Bottles and lay every here and there with books and broken things. Their father came from kitchen with a smile on his face.

"Thank god, I was getting worried. You have to get home by three, alright? So I'll know you're alright. Half five is way too late. At winter it already gets dark. You can't go and walk in the dark, someone might kidnap you or something."

Ed hugged his father. "But Dad, we can't come home earlier every day. Sometimes like today the school lasts till four. We can't leave in the middle of a school day. We need to study. We need to get good grades."

His father fluffed his hair. "But Ed, your Mum would've wanted you to be safe and so do I. I'll call to your teacher."

"But Dad-!" Al started but was cut by a brief look of anger by their father's face. He gulped. "N-nothing…"

"Now go and do your homework. I'll be making dinner. I'll call you down when it's ready, alright?"

They nodded and walked up the stairs into their room. Ed sighed.

"I guess we're not even allowed to call Winry. She'll be mad."

Al nodded sadly and crushed to his bed, looking at the ceiling.

"I just wish she'd understand."

* * *

They sat all silently in the lounge one day after school, their father questioning them how their day went.

"We had Maths and our teacher wanted to know the height of our class's tallest and shortest to count a few things with it. She picked me to be the shortest", Ed muttered as Al chuckled slightly next to him.

"Well brother… You are kind of short."

"I am not short!" Ed whined. "I just haven't gotten enough sunlight!"

Their father flinched. "You get enough sunlight."

Ed shook his head. "I don't. You and Mum were always so tall, it isn't natural for me to be this… average!" he complained.

"You aren't average. You're tall", their father said strongly. "And you get enough sunlight, you spend hours out."

"Not out, at school", Ed muttered. He jumped up slightly as his father slammed his hands on the table.

"DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S THE WORK OF YOUR IMAGINATION!"

Ed and Al were taken aback slightly.

"Actually brother's about one third of what the others are… The tallest guy in the class was over half taller than brother", Al tried hesitantly but their father laughed.

"But I am!" Ed yelled miserably. "Why can't we at least once go out and play with Winry! Or invite her over!"

Their father shot him a dark glare.

"You are safe here. Your Mother would want you to be safe. Do you respect your Mother's memory?" he asked furiously. Ed nodded quickly.

"Then you keep being safely here."

Ed and Al looked at each others. There was no way getting out of this nightmare.

* * *

There was a loud bang on the wall. Ed and Al jumped up and turned to open the window.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO IGNORE ME, HUH!? DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN GET RID OF ME JUST LIKE THAT? IF YOU WANT TO GET RID OF ME, SAY IT!" Winry screamed furiously and picked her wrench from the ground again. Al motioned him not to throw it.

"Winry, please-!" Al tried to yell but they had to slam the window shut quickly. Luckily the wrench hit the wall, not the window. Ed opened the window again.

"Winry, are you planning to get us killed!?" he yelled back. "And we are _not_ trying to get rid of you!"

"Like I'd believe that! You're not even coming to at school anymore!" she cried. Al pushed Ed away.

"Winry, it's not that we don't want to-"

"I've already heard that, do you honestly think I believe it anymore?" she screamed. "If… If you don't care about me then I'll just go!"

"Winry, please-!" Al yelled but was stopped when the wrench actually hit his head.

"I hope you'll never get out of there" she said coldly and started running away. Al screamed after her as Ed lowered his head and walked to sit on his bed, his knees drawn close to his chest.

He had seen it coming.

* * *

Several months later they were too afraid to say anything if they weren't asked something. Their father had banned school from them, he wanted to keep them home under his eye to make sure they were alright. The smell of alcohol filled the house and their father got fits of rage several times in a day. During them Ed always took Al up to their room where they sat on the other's bed, listening when their father calmed down. During the times their father had fallen asleep they went through long conversations whispering, trying to cheer the other one up and fake happiness.

Ed didn't even remember when he had given up with the hope. He just knew he had. Every day was slightly worse and he could see differences with the last month and the one they were living in at the time. The difference was always to worse.

One day their father started bellowing at them during dinner.

"YOU ARE NOT MY SONS! MY SONS WOULDN'T ACT LIKE THAT, MY SONS WERE ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND AND LAUGHING, WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SONS!?"

As the man stormed to get his hands on Al who raised his hands to protect himself Ed jumped forwards and shielded him, pushing him out of the way to one corner of the kitchen.

After the beating he had several bad bruises and a bleeding nose. He took Al up again to safety as their father started breaking the plates and glasses, trying to throw them at them. As he closed the door he leaned to the wall and closed his eyes.

"Oh my god, brother, are you alright? Your nose is bleeding!" Al whispered, panic filling his voice. Ed snorted.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious…" he whispered back and wiped some of the blood away.

"I'm fine."

"Does it hurt?" Al asked and made him sat down on his bed. Ed shook his head and opened his eyes again.

"You're lying. It does hurt. Do you think it's broken?" Al whispered as he handed him and old red T-shirt from the closet. Ed pressed it around his nose.

"I don't know. And I don't think we'll ever find out."

That was the day when the nightmare truly begun.

* * *

They got beaten every day, their confidence died out and they noticed becoming distant from the reality. They didn't even dare to talk to each others anymore because they were too scared the man would hear it so they tried to express themselves through different motions. They became quite good in it.

Al was often angry for Ed but he kept ignoring it stubbornly. Al was worried. Ed had picked up a habit to get Al away from the beating scene and take all the hits, coming later to their room badly beaten and crushing to his bed. Al always tried to take as good care of him as he could but as they weren't allowed to touch in the medicines it was hard. But Ed didn't care as long as Al was safe.

Mum would've wanted him to look after his little brother, that was for sure.

It was what he thought about every single time he pushed Al away and protected him with his body. With that thought in his mind, it wasn't even half as bad as it could be. He couldn't stand it when the man tried to get to Al.

One day it got him in deep trouble.

* * *

Ed opened the door quickly as he heard Al's terrified scream cut the air. He stormed in to see his brother pinned against the wall as the man hit him. Al already had a bloody nose and there was a drop of blood in the corner of his mouth.

Ed snapped. He couldn't help it. He was angry for the man and he was angry for himself for not being there for Al.

He ran and punched the man as hard as he could. The time froze. Al looked at him even more fearfully.

The man turned to see him and took a chair in his hands. Ed tried to back away as the man was bellowing about all the rules he had broken. He raised the chair high in the air. Ed shielded.

He remembered the pain shooting up his body as the chair hit him. He saw stars and heard birds singing their songs in the Spring.

Last thing he remembered was Al falling to his knees as someone pulled him up from his collar.

At least Al was safe for now, Ed thought as he drifted in the darkness.

* * *

Okay... this chapter was bad. Really bad. But it was my first time trying to write about a character's background and I had no idea how hard it was before I started writing this.

I'll try to make the next chapter better. I can't promise when I'll manage to write it but I'll promise that I will write it.

I still appreciate reviews.


	6. Stubborn

Sorryyy! I know that there were many spelling mistakes and confusing things in the last chapter, my mind changed in the middle of some sentences and got them weird and impossible and I was sleepy and... just sorry! I hope it didn't happen with this chapter too!

And sorry for the late update. I feel guilty. Took me so long. I've been busy. But I've been writing this chapter at least a little every day! I'm not forgetting you, my dear readers! Thanks for every single review!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 6  
**__Stubborn_

Riza kept caressing the boy's hair as he was already deeply asleep, his head still on her lap, tearstained face gleaming in the light Roy's lounge's lamp was giving them. Roy tapped his fingers to the table, looking at the unchanging scene in front of him without really seeing it. Finally Riza sighed.

"I think I somehow saw this coming", she stated quietly not to wake the boy up. "His brother's still there. We need to get him out."

Roy straightened on his chair. "But the kid's nerves wouldn't allow it. He thinks that his father will find out about everything. He's been too long in there to allow such an action to take place while his brother's still under his father's power."

"We can't just let that boy stay there! We need to find out about Ed's whole name and background, where he lived and all and then save his brother. Do you remember Ed's chest? It's not in a good condition. His father hit him with _a chair_. For a child that's a lot. His brother won't make it for long. It might be too late already", she hissed as she shook her head. "Roy, the first thing before morning. We need to make him tell us _everything_ so we can help his brother."

"But Riza, he won't tell it that easily-" Roy started but Riza silenced him with her furious glare.

"Do you want to help the poor innocent boy who's getting beaten up by his own _father_ and who thinks that his brother is _dead_ or just leave him to rot? Can you really take that to your conscious?" she hissed angrily and drew Ed closer to her chest, making the boy's head lean backwards limply. Roy glared at her back.

"I never said I didn't want to help his brother, I was just trying to say that it won't be easy."

"It must be horrible… for a child to see his father go crazy right in front of the kid's eyes without being able to do anything about it…" she said sadly as she moved Ed's bangs away from his face. "And then your own father beating you up… saying you're not his real child… that's cruel. No one should go through that."

Roy lowered his head as he thought about it. His own parents had always ignored him, he didn't remember any kinds of praises or anything, only complaining if something was said to him. But he never got beaten. Never.

He sighed. "We should put him in bed. He seems to be shivering."

Riza stood up and laid the boy's head on her left shoulder as she used her hands to carry him. Roy tried to help but Riza smiled telling she'd manage and carried the boy in Roy's bedroom with a large bed before laying him down and stripping the kid on his shirt and boxers before covering him gently with a soft and thick blanket. Ed whined and curled up, his hand squeezing the blanket under his chin. Riza stretched before lying down too. Roy shut the lamps down.

The kid took extra place in the bed even though he was incredibly small. Roy could barely see Riza's hand still caressing the boy's hair and felt a slight rush of jealousy hit him but tossed it aside. Edward leaned on his back unconsciously and he couldn't help but smile.

"Next night he's sleeping alone, you hear me?" he whispered to Riza.

* * *

Oh, how warm it was! He whimpered slightly as he buried his face deeper in the soft but hard thing in front of him. The blanket kept him nicely warm and comfortable, it was really a luxury. He breather in the scent of the shirt…

…Wait… what shirt..?

He opened his eyes and backed his head away a little to realise that he had been leaning in the chest of the man taking care of him. He blushed as he tried to get further away but realised that there was another figure in the other side of him. He turned and tried to back away again, ending up pressed against the man's chest again.

Damn it how annoying this was. There was so little space in this damn bed.

The man curled his hands around him unconsciously and he whimpered embarrassedly. He tried to slide away but didn't manage.

This was the last time he was falling asleep in any other place than his own bed. That was for sure.

Ed tried to get away again, the man growling lowly as he woke up and Ed froze. Whoopsie.

The man fluffed his hair. "Morning…"

"M-morning…" Ed muffled back. The man let go and got up, stretching his neck.

"You hungry?" he asked as Ed got up too and stood a few meters behind him. He nodded slightly and the man smiled. "Then you can help me making something." Another nod.

He followed the man to the kitchen where Roy opened the door of the fridge and took out eggs, milk, cheese, butter and yoghurt. Ed helped him to put it all in the table. After that Roy filled a pot with water and put it on the cooker and motioned Ed to sit down which he did nervously and started to watch down on his left. In other words he was trying to avoid Roy's serious glance.

"Ed… you know what I'm going to tell you now, don't you?" Roy asked. Ed nodded silently, squeezing his hands together and biting his lip. "Listen, we can't leave things just be. Our responsibility is to inform the police about it and make sure you and your brother get a new home. At first you'll probably end up in an orphanage but it won't be that bad, trust me. Then maybe one day someone will take you to his or her home."

Ed shook his head slightly and drew his knees closer. Roy sighed. "I'm sorry but it has to be done. If things go on like this you'll die there. We can't take it to our conscious."

Ed kept shaking his head.

"…Ed… Please don't make things hard. You and your brother will just suffer", Roy pleaded. Ed shook his head.

"He'll kill Al if he finds out about any of this. You… you can't make him kill Al…" Ed whimpered and squeezed his knees. Roy shook his head.

"I don't know where you've gotten the idea that he has power to find out about everything but he doesn't. And when he does, it'll be too late to hurt your brother, I promise. You just have to tell us everything we need to know and we'll get your brother out of there", Roy tried gently but was irritated to see Ed shaking his head again.

"Ed, we're trying to _help_ you. Do you remember what that word means?" he asked grumpily. Ed lowered his head angrily and nodded.

"…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my nerves", Roy sighed. He leaned to his hands on the table and tried to reach the boy's glance. "Riza and I are worried about you. And your brother too. We just wish you'd let us help you two."

As Ed didn't answer Roy sighed again and stood up. "I'll go and wake Riza. We need to get to work on time."

Ed was left alone for a while so he moved his long hair behind his back and started to rub his cold hands together to warm them up. He felt bad for disappointing the adults that had given him so much freedom and caring but he had to do it for Al, so he did. He took in a deep breathe as he thought about his brother.

_I wish he's okay… I wish he's still alive._

He felt his eyes burning out of guilt as he buried his face in his knees.

_He doesn't even know I'm alive… He thinks he's all alone now._

There was something wet on his cheek but he didn't know what it was. He didn't remember anything about it. He wiped it away and looked up to see if the ceiling was leaking but no. His knees damp too. He used his hands to wipe them clean but found out his face got always wet again. He growled grimly as he realised that his eyes were leaking. Why were they doing that!?

He felt bad. He felt like screaming for the world for its unfairness. But he didn't. Instead he bit his lip so he tasted the metallic taste of blood in his mouth and rubbed his eyes furiously.

It should've been Al getting away from there to these nice people. Not him. It should've been him who would've stayed. He always knew he wouldn't have been able to protect Al forever but he had always thought that when he wasn't able to help him anymore he would've been dead. Not living a nice life with other people. It was all so wrong.

"Ed… Are you okay?" he heard the woman asking worriedly as she stepped in the room. He shook his head furiously.

"Are you sad for something?" she asked him as she hugged him. Ed nodded.

"…Did I say something wrong..?" Roy wondered as he sat down. Ed shook his head.

"…Why are my eyes leaking..?" he asked miserably. Riza and Roy shared a brief glance.

"You know, Ed… when people get very sad their eyes start leaking. It's called 'crying'. Crying shows that you're a person with feelings. That's a good thing", Riza said silently as she petted his hair. Ed squeezed his knees tighter and shook his head.

"I don't like crying."

"Many people don't", Roy said. "But it's in human nature. It's our way to impress ourselves, even at times we don't really want to. But you don't always have to be crying when you're sad, you can cry out of happiness and relief too."

"I still don't like it", Ed muttered and wiped his tears away stubbornly. "It's stupid…"

Riza sighed and took the boiled Eggs from the cooker, shutting it down as she did so and put them on the table. "Well… we should eat anyway."

Ed lowered his gaze.

* * *

"How's the kiddy?" Havoc asked as he sat on the couch Ed was sitting later that day. Ed felt a rush of anger as he heard the word "kiddy". He wasn't a tiny child, for God's sake!

"Ooh, the kiddy's grumpy", Havoc continued and fluffed his hair. "Our gang's little pet."

"He's not a pet, Havoc, he's a human being", Roy snarled loudly from his seat as he moved a pile of signed papers to the floor to make space to the ones he still had to sign. "Treat him right."

Havoc snorted. "I was treating him like a human, I asked how he was doing!"

Roy sighed and shook his head as he returned to his paperwork without further talking.

Havoc lightened up another cigarette and Ed looked away, trying to avoid the smoke. Havoc held the pack to him. "Want one?"

"HAVOC! Don't offer cigarettes to children!" Roy bellowed and Havoc jumped in the air. Ed shook his head as an answer. Havoc sighed.

"Jesus… Don't overreact, Chief. It's just a cigarette", he muttered. Roy turned back to him angrily.

"Cigarettes destroy your lungs. I'm not letting you to hurt Ed more than he's already hurt."

"Damn it, Chief, calm down. It's not like I'll force it down his throat. You're a little too overprotective with this little fellow", Havoc muttered and walked back to his work, leaving Ed all alone on the couch again, sighing. Roy came over.

"Are you okay?" he asked concernedly like Havoc would've just beaten him up. He nodded with a bored expression. Roy sat down.

"Don't take anything other people than me and Riza offer you, okay? It might be dangerous."

He nodded again and stretched his hands. The pain behind his shoulders was starting to disappear.

"And don't go anywhere with anyone if Riza and I don't allow it", Roy continued. Ed nodded again. He was used to getting orders.

"You understand me?" Roy narrowed his eyes. Ed nodded again. "Are you taking me seriously?" Nod again. "Are you going to follow strangers?" He shook his head. "Are you going to follow Havoc?" He shook his head.

Roy smiled. "Okay, I guess the message was clear."

Ed nodded again.

"You can just talk, you know."

"Okay", Ed answered, not really feeling like it but did as he was told. Roy smiled.

"See? Much better."

Ed almost nodded but just before he did he remembered he had to talk. "Yeah."

Roy tapped his shoulder and squeezed him uncomfortably against his right side. "We're making a huge progress here, aren't we?"

"Y-yes…" Ed whimpered, trying to get air in his lungs. Roy let go.

"Do you want to do something special at lunch break?" Roy asked. Ed looked up confusedly.

"…No…"

"Nah, I don't believe that. Every boy of your age or not your age, whatever, would have something he'd want to do", Roy said encouragingly. Ed lowered his head.

"…There isn't really anything I'd want to do…"

Roy kept smiling. "Alright. Well we're going to eat at first, what would you want to eat?"

…Food?" Ed said still confusedly. Roy in another hand had hard time not to laugh.

"What kind of food?"

"…Noodles."

"You like noodles?" Roy asked happily as Ed nodded, totally forgetting to answer by words. "I like them too. Noodles it is, then. Maybe we can go to the park after that or something. How does that sound?"

"…I don't know."

"Well, let's try it then so you can create your opinion about it. It'll be fun."

Ed nodded as he started staring out of the window again, still amazed by the huge amount of people running down on the streets that were surrounded by huge buildings. Though he _was_ starting to get used to the scenery.

"…What is a Father?" Ed asked quietly as he let his glance follow one of the clouds slowly getting out of sight. "Or a Dad?"

Roy scratched his hair embarrassedly. "…A Father is a person who… helped to bring you in this world. Same goes for Dad. They're synonyms."

Ed shook his head. "No they aren't…"

Roy raised his eyebrows. "They are."

Ed shook his head. "I think a Father is what you said if he deserves to be called that, if he loves his family and would protect them. But I think Dad is someone who acts nicely to you, who cares about you and who loves you as you are and is sort of like a role model. Right?"

Roy stared. "…That's getting quite complicated for me. Father is a father and Dad is a father too, it's sort of like a nickname."

Ed lowered his head. "But still, don't you think that being Dad is better than being a Father? And I don't think you have to have blood relations with your Dad."

Roy sighed. "It just goes that way. Sorry to break it to you."

Roy heard a slam as Riza put another stack of papers on his table. "I don't think you have to have blood relations with your Dad."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Riza…"

Riza leaned over the couch to look in Ed's hopeful eyes. "I really like your theory about a Dad. Then it's like a title, something you have to earn. That's good."

Ed smiled nervously. Roy snorted.

"I've got to get back working…" he muttered and left Ed and Riza talking about Ed's theories for "Mum and Dad".

* * *

Ed was sitting on the swing as Roy pushed him to give him some speed to get higher. Ed smiled but squeezed his fists.

"Higher!" he squealed as he felt the wind against his face again, making him thrilled. Roy smiled and pushed harder.

He felt his braid smashing in his back time after time, the wind playing wish his golden bangs moving them to block his sight or moving the bangs out of the way so he could see the cloudy sky of Central as he reached towards it, playing with the idea of getting to the sky, far above everyone else flying with the birds. Roy smiled too as he saw the excitement on the boy's face.

"You like it?" he yelled as he pushed the kid so he got closer to the sky again. Ed laughed silently as an answer.

Oh how he wish he just could reach the sky…

As they stopped Ed hugged Roy. "Thanks Dad!"

Roy froze.

* * *

Oooh, Ed called Roy Dad! I think you _could _consider this as a cliffy though I'm not sure... Well anyway, please review!


	7. Attachment

I'm sorry it takes me this long to update at nowadays. I never thought I'd ever have to slow down my writing, but now I really feel like it. I'm so busy with school and friends that I just _can't _update once in a day like I used to. But I promise to try and work on the next chapter every day. Because that's what my readers deserve.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. That's about it.

* * *

****PROTECT**

_**Chapter 7  
**__Attachment_

Roy opened the door silently, letting some light in the kid's room but taking care so the light wouldn't hit Ed's face. He leaned to the doorframe.

Ed whimpered slightly and crawled deep asleep a little more under his warm blanket, his hands in loose fists like trying to hold into something but being too sleepy to really do anything. He didn't look that peaceful as he should've looked, Roy thought sadly.

* * *

"…_Ed. You can't call me Dad. I'm not your Dad and I'll never be", Roy said determinately as they started working to the Head Quarters again. Ed looked up to him with his huge, golden, innocent eyes._

"_But I think you are my Dad, you've-"_

"No_, Ed. I don't want to be your Dad. Forget it."_

_Ed looked up and moved a little further away from him. "…Y-you don't want to be my Dad..?"_

_Roy shook his head almost angrily. "No, Ed. I don't want to be your Dad."_

_The kid's eyes went dark and he seemed to shrink right before his eyes as his posture dropped and voice faded.

* * *

_Roy sighed as he stepped in the room and closed the door that let the light in the room and waited for a while to let his eyes adjust to the dark room before walking to kneel down before the kid's bed. He leaned to the bed but didn't dare to touch the kid. It was like he'd infect him or something.

"…I'm sorry", he whispered as he looked at the kid's silent form. Ed muffled before turning around, letting Roy look at his back instead of his face. Roy sighed silently.

"…Just wanted you to know that, I guess."

He left the room silently and walked to his room where he crashed to his bed and let his hands take a small box under it. He opened it and let the ring fall to the bed as he stared at it.

"Things have gotten more complicated than they're supposed to be", he mourned grumpily as he put the ring back and tossed it to the other side of the room.

"A happy marriage is just too much for me to ask, is it?"

* * *

At morning Roy heard the doorbell ringing and got up grumpily to open the damn door. Riza was standing behind it with a warm smile.

"What are you doing here at this time?" Roy muttered the question as he made way for Riza to step in and lay her coat to the back of one of the kitchen chairs. She turned around and smiled to him, widening her arms.

"What, I can't come to see my boyfriend and son?" she asked jokingly. Roy's face dropped.

"You actually call him your son now? Seriously, Riza, we've got to stop this."

Riza's eyes narrowed. "Why? Don't you love him?"

Roy shook his head. "Sorry, but I really don't."

"But Roy, the kid _needs_ us. He really does. You can't just… walk away from him, can you?" she asked grumpily. Roy snorted and crossed his arms.

"I'm planning to keep him", Riza said. Roy's mouth dropped.

"You can't say it just like that! You've known him for a few days! And he isn't our responsibility, we're getting his brother out, throwing their father in jail for abusing his own children and then putting the kids in the orphanage. They're going to be just fine", Roy growled angrily. "We are not keeping them. _I_ am not keeping them."

"You'll get used to them", Riza hissed back. Roy took her hand.

"I am _not_ taking children, Riza!" he yelled. Riza draw her hand back and slapped him.

"It isn't like I'm forcing you, am I!?" she yelled back. Roy snorted.

"At the moment it looks like it! Can't you wait, damn it!? We're too young to be able to look after two that old kids anyway! It _won't work out_."

"Who are you to say that, you haven't even tried!" Riza yelled at him and banged her fist in the table, making a glass fall to the floor and shatter in pieces. Roy saw a form in the corner of his eyes and turned to see Ed's room's door opened, the kid standing frozen and looking at the scene in front of him with wide eyes, a look of fear trying to take over him as he tried to push it aside. As he noticed Roy's furious glare he lowered his head, letting his gaze fall to the grounds, leaving his stiff form unmoving. Riza shook her head and hurried over him to the kid. Roy snorted furiously.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?" she asked nicely as she laid her hands gently on the boy's shoulders, his gaze still on the floor. Riza stroke his hair briefly. "I'm sorry for this, we'll deal with this right now and we'll act more like grown ups, okay? We won't yell anymore. You can go back to your room, close the door and dress up. I'll be back in a while." Ed nodded and turned to walk back in his room and closed the door. Riza sighed and turned to Roy.

"Let's work this out Roy. I don't want to scare him", she said, seeming to regret her outburst. Roy crossed his hands.

"I'm not taking children. That's it. You do what you want, but I am not going to be a part of it", he said. Riza shook her head.

"You can't make me choose between my son and boyfriend. That's cruel", she said. Roy didn't answer. She seemed to be trying to find words.

"I'll take Ed. He needs me more. There aren't many people who want to adopt a child, especially one as old as he is. There are… there are many pretty and kind women out there for you. You'll find another one. A better one", she said with a trembling voice. Roy bit his lip disappointedly. Now the kid was more important than him? Was it really so?

"I'll take him out of your way now. I can't believe what I was thinking when I left him in here. I'm sorry", she said and turned to walk in Ed's room. Roy marched in his room furiously and took the tiny box from his night-table before marching back to Riza and Ed who was hiding behind her, frightened of Roy's fury. Roy threw the package to the floor where it broke and let the ring jump miserably before falling back to the floor again. Riza looked at it amazedly.

"I was asking you to marry me that night. I had everything planned out. Just thought you should know", Roy growled furiously before returning to his room. He heard Riza guiding Ed out of his apartment.

He crushed to his bed and buried his head in the pillow. This was one of those days when he just couldn't stand the fact that he still had to go to work.

* * *

"…Miss Riza?" Ed asked quietly as they were walking towards the Head Quarters. Riza looked down with a forced, gentle smile.

"What is it, Ed?"

"…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry", Ed said as he let his gaze fall to the ground again. "It was my entire fault."

Riza shook her head encouragingly. "No it wasn't. We hadn't fought in a long time and we needed it. If he really cares about me, he'll come and apologize. It was _not_ your fault."

"You were fighting because of me. I heard. I'm not stupid…" Ed muttered silently. Riza laughed slightly.

"I know that you are not stupid. You're a very smart child, Ed."

"…Why people think I'm stupid? What do I do wrong?" Ed asked and looked up.

Riza bit her lip. "Maybe they think you talk very little. And you aren't really open so we don't know that much about you. I think it affects people quite a lot", she said slowly.

"But… but I thought I wasn't supposed to talk much… I thought…" Ed started strongly but let his voice fade. "…And I don't really feel like talking either. I haven't talked in a long time, it can be… it's just weird."

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to", Riza said. "But by talking you can express yourself to others and judging by that people usually get to know you. By being silent gives a difficult fist impression."

"…They think I'm stupid because I haven't talked to them enough?" Ed wondered out loud.

"I think so. At least not enough for their taste. But they just aren't used to silent people, our crew is pretty… loud, let's say."

"So I should be loud?"

"Nobody's forcing you to be loud. Just be yourself. If you don't feel like talking, don't force yourself to it."

"But I don't want people to think I'm stupid either…" Ed muttered. "I don't know which one is more annoying. I hate both."

"But you aren't stupid, so what does it matter what others think?" Riza asked nicely. "Others can be always wrong. No matter what, you'll always be the one who knows you the best. Always. Even at times when you're unsure of what you really are."

Ed raised his shoulders and let them drop again. After that he looked to the ground again.

"…Why don't my father and dad like me..?" he asked silently. "Is there something wrong with me?"

Riza felt bad for the boy walking next to him. A kid that young would never be able to understand that it wasn't his fault, no matter what she said. It'd torment him forever if it went too badly. She sighed.

"I might sound stupid repeating this but _it's not your fault_. You've done nothing wrong. Sometimes adults just can be… jerks. If they aren't ready for something their instincts kick in and try to wipe away the thing that gives them too much pressure. I guess your father wasn't ready to take care of you and your brother alone, especially since your mother died, no matter how hard he tried. It was too hard for him. It came so soon. Same thing with Roy: he doesn't like jumping into big conclusions and so on without preparing. You coming a long… I think you just scared the hell out of him."

"…I didn't mean to scare or offend him", Ed said and trembled slightly.

"Sometimes things just don't go as you've planned", Riza pointed out as she opened the door to the Head Quarters. "Now I suggest you to sit quietly and trying to be really cute as always. Might affect him." She winked.

Ed looked up wondering what the hell she meant.

* * *

Ed sat on the couch silently, looking at the clock on the wall, lost in his thoughts.

…_I miss home._

He almost laughed at himself for that. But he didn't because he was deadly serious. He really did miss home.

_It wasn't that complicated at home_, he reasoned. _There were rules that guided me, that kept telling me what I should do and what I shouldn't do. Everything was based on them and I was… _quite_ good in them after some practice. I had Al, he was always there for me and the other way around. I had that man… I had _Dad_, even at times he wasn't nice at all, he was still there. I miss home. I miss the simple life in it._

He sighed and rubbed his hands together to heat them up a little. They were starting to get cold. His head had this annoying dizzy feeling in it.

_Maybe Dad's not angry at me anymore. Maybe I should just go home already. It's not like anyone cares about me in here. The crew teases me. The man… he… he… he doesn't like me. He hates me. He can't stand me. The woman… Riza… she was okay but I feel so weird around her, she's so weird. I… I don't like it. It makes me nervous._

He moved uncomfortably on the couch and glanced briefly at a very furious looking Roy signing papers, trying to block out the world around him. He lowered his head quickly.

_He hates me. If someone would let me go home, it'd be him. He'd let me back to Al and my Dad. Dad's the only person who's ever going to be a dad for me anyway._

He stood up and trembled slightly as he walked before the man's desk, lowering his head to the ground, scared if the man would hurt him now that he got so close. Roy didn't look up. Ed swallowed hard.

"I… I want to go home", he said quietly. He heard Roy moving another paper on the "signed stack". Roy snorted.

"You are not coming to my house again. You live at Riza's house now", he growled back. Ed lowered his head even more if possible. His back was curled slightly.

"I didn't mean… Roy's… apartment. I was talking about my home."

Roy looked up. "No matter how angry I am to you, I am _not _letting you go home, you hear me? But if you want to share the information we need to get your brother safe and your father under arrest I'd be delighted to hear."

Ed trembled uncomfortably. "What does under arrest mean?"

Roy sighed. "It means we'll catch him, get him on court and throw in jail. Clear?"

Ed backed away, his head shooting up against his will. "You'll let the police take Dad to jail?"

"Yes. Are you calling him Dad again?" Roy asked suspiciously. Ed drew in a deep breath.

"You… You can't do that! He's my Dad!" he yelled. Everyone in the room raised their heads to look at his trembling form. "I… You… You can't take my only Dad away", Ed whined. Roy sighed again and stood up slowly, trying to relax Ed who took two steps back again.

"Ed, you're Dad will be just fine. And you and Al will be just fine, no one's going to hurt you anymore. And you may even get to visit your Dad. It's for the best. Sure you understand it? I'm not planning to take your Dad away just because I can, I want to do it in order to protect you", he said slowly. Ed's face darkened.

"You're just like everyone", Ed hissed. Roy got scared of the sudden rush of emotions. Ed had _never_ offended them, nor said a word against their will. "You're just a selfish, complete piece of shit."

Ed turned and started running away. Roy growled.

"Get back here, Ed! NOW!" he bellowed as he ran after the small boy whose golden features had already left the room as Roy reached halfway. Damn, the kid was quick, even with his injuries. He had probably learned how to disappear from a dangerous scene.

He reached the kid on the hallway where he grabbed the kid's arm as other military officers looked angrily at the running man and boy. Ed tried to release himself with no avail.

"I am not sorry, you can't make me sorry for what I said!" Ed screamed furiously as he yanked his arm once again and let his feet give way and fell to the ground which made Roy's concentration suffer and his grip lessened as Ed yanked again releasing his hand and rolling further away before jumping up again. Unfortunately for him, Roy had moved fast too and grabbed his shoulders tightly.

"I am _not_ trying to make you sorry, I am trying to keep you away from problems in here, Ed! Let's get back to my office", Roy said calmly and tried to guide Ed back but the kid tried to push him away.

"I'm not going _anywhere_ with you", he hissed dangerously, making Roy sigh.

"Ed, you're acting like a teenager now. Let that part wait for a few years."

"I am almost a teenager!" Ed yelled furiously back, making Roy laugh at this time.

"Ed, ten year olds aren't that near for being a teenager", he chuckled. Ed growled furiously.

"I'm almost thirteen, you bastard!" Edward screamed angrily, making Roy's jaw drop. Wow, his reactions were changing after every sentence.

"You're almost _thirteen_!?"

Ed glared at him furiously. "Don't sound so surprised", he muttered. Roy blinked a few times.

"But… but you're so _small_."

THWACK.

Everyone in the hallway, at the moment including also Roy's crew, stared at the short boy, who was apparently thirteen years old no matter he didn't look like it, who had punched a _Colonel_, the great _Flame Alchemist_, on his stomach and was standing furiously looking on the way.

"I don't care how badly you'll beat me. That felt good", Ed hissed angrily as Roy drew in a shaky breath of air and blinked his eyes to force the tears of pain away. He raised his head to look in the golden eyes that seemed clearer than ever.

He drew the boy in for a hug and petted his hair.

"I think I'm going to miss that look", he said as Ed's eyes widened of surprise.

* * *

Owww, Roy really got him to slip back to his personality for a while. Loved writing that. Review?


	8. Growls, violence and guts

I'm shocked. First time in a long time I manage to write a chapter in one day. Reminds me of old times. Loved writing it.  
Thanks for every single brilliant reviewer for making my day again! Cookies for you all!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 8  
**__Growls, violence and guts_

"Alright Ed, you had a reason to get pissed off, I understand, but you must understand that you can't hit me, no matter how angry you are. _Never_ hit me again", Roy lectured the kid who was back to his robotic-self, sitting silently on the couch looking at his feet with a mask hiding all the emotions. Roy sighed. "You understand me?" Ed nodded. Roy petted his hair and sat next to him.

"You must understand that no matter how idiotic I might've been to you, it's been all done so you could live your life healthier and happier. You were totally overreacting. That's fine. But you need to accept it yourself so you'll learn to see when you do overreact so you can lessen it. Okay?"

Ed nodded again as he swallowed. Roy sighed.

"The fact that I am lecturing you doesn't mean you can't talk and say your own opinions. It's hard to communicate with you when I have no idea what's going on in your mind", he snarled. Ed swallowed again.

"Okay."

Roy shook his head. "Just replacing the nod with 'okay' or 'alright' isn't good enough. I get all that information by just seeing your nod. Just say something else."

"…I understand?" Ed tried nervously. Roy groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Something that reveals a little more of your opinion", he muttered. Ed looked totally confused and stayed silent. Roy patted his shoulder. "Remember when you got angry to me, punched me, which you can't do anymore, and bellowed at me? Remember that?"

"Yeah, I remember that. It was like 10 minutes ago", Ed tried hesitantly. Roy smiled slightly.

"At that time you were being yourself and saying what you were thinking. You were acting like you wanted. That's how we want you to act. Just be yourself. But please, don't hurt anyone. That punch you gave me was quite… well-punched, let's say."

Ed blushed and turned his head away. "…I can't."

Now was Roy's turn to be confused. "You can't what?"

"…I… I don't know. I don't know how to act like me. I'm sorry", he said anxiously and lowered his head so his chin touched his chest and his back curled slightly, his shoulders rising. Roy blinked.

"Just act how you want to, it can't be that hard. You were acting like yourself just ten minutes ago. You can do it."

Ed shook his head. "I don't know what hit me back then. My mind got totally messed up. It was… kind of freaky. I didn't have the slightest idea how I acted so… I can't act like it anymore."

Roy sighed. "Well it's getting better anyway. Now you actually say how you feel, not answer with a nod or one or two words."

Ed's mouth opened but no words came. After a few seconds he closed it and shrugged. Roy snorted.

"Don't say I just managed to make you draw your defences again?"

Ed shrugged.

"Nah, this is useless..!" Roy complained and stood up again. Ed's eyes widened as he froze. Seeing Ed react like he'd start abusing him any second made him even more frustrated.

"You've got to start trusting us a little more, Ed. We aren't here to hurt you. Keep that in mind", he said and returned to his paperwork, seeing from the corned of his eye as Ed turned slightly to look at him still slightly doubtingly.

He had already started reading the next paper from his "to sign-stack" when Ed turned leaning to the back of the couch, eyeing him curiously.

"What are doing?" he asked. Roy knew Riza would kill him if he wouldn't go back to his work soon but maybe when Ed was being the distraction she'd let it go. He smiled.

"Working. This is my job. I read papers and sign most of them. Sometimes I get 'on field' where the action is to blow something up with alchemy."

"Sounds boring", Ed smirked. Roy blinked when he saw it.

"It is. But I get paid so I'll do it", he answered. "You said you went to school when you were younger?"

Ed nodded with a slight smile. Roy smiled back encouragingly. "How'd it go?"

"Teacher got often angry to me because I got on fights. But I got good grades", Ed said after a while of thinking. "Al was nicer, he didn't really have many enemies. He'd probably had none if I hadn't been his brother and fought with half of the people at school."

"Why did you fight at school? Weren't people nice?" Roy asked curiously. Ed shook his head.

"Total jerks. Self-centred. They kept bullying the innocent ones. I didn't like that."

Roy sighed. "People can be stupid at nowadays."

Ed nodded and let his right hand lie over the edge of the couch's back. "…Are you talking to Miss Riza again?" he asked hesitantly.

Roy sighed. "You can just call her Riza. And I don't know. I guess we should be just fine as I'm not angry to you anymore but I want her to apologize before I'm really forgiving her for leaving me."

Ed looked down hesitantly. "…She was just angry. She didn't mean what she said."

"You can't know that. You're just a kid", Roy snarled. Ed looked up angrily.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO TINY AND RETARTED THAT HE CAN BE CONSIDERED AS A ONE YEAR OLD BABY AND, BEING A BABY HE IS, CAN'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE THING THAT HE SEES AND HEARS!?!" Ed screamed. Roy looked at him amazedly. Ed paled.

"…I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean it!" he whimpered and hid himself behind the back of the couch. Roy sighed.

"It's okay Ed, and I didn't call you _that_ small…" he muttered. He could hear Ed's low growling as the kid tried to block his anger out.

He returned to his work but after five minutes he was interrupted again by Ed with that curious and hesitant look as he leaned to the back of the couch.

"She wants you to apologize too, you know", Ed stated. "I think you should both apologize."

Roy snorted. "And why do you think that? I have nothing to apologize."

Ed leaned his head slightly to the right. "Why don't you want to apologize? Is it because you aren't allowed or because it makes you weak or..?"

Roy glanced at him angrily. "I don't apologize if I have nothing to apologize about", he growled. Ed smirked slightly.

"Then do you apologize for even considering to lure me into telling where my Father is so you could throw him in jail?" Ed asked. Roy's eyes narrowed.

"There's nothing to apologize. You should apologize for being an idiot and not telling so we could get your brother out of there. He might be abused even now, and judging by your wounds and bruises and god-knows-what, it isn't a nice thing to see. Or live in that matter", Roy mocked at him. Ed's appearance went dark again as he turned away and sat on the couch normally. Roy sighed.

"Alright, Ed. If you want to help your brother, we need a little team-work. So cooperate."

Ed shook his head and wrapped his arms around his feet. Roy snarled.

"Why?" Roy asked angrily and stood up. "Why aren't you spitting it out already?"

Ed's eyes narrowed as he buried his chin to his knees. "He'll find out about it and kill Al for revenge. He always finds out about things."

Roy laid his hands on Ed's shoulders roughly.

"Alright, let's start with your name. Your nickname is Ed. From where does it come from? Edgar? Red? Edward? Eden? Ned? Edmund?"

Ed's eyes narrowed as he looked above at him. "If you think I'm telling it to you, you are _wrong_."

Roy smirked. "Then I'll just search over every other name I can come up with and look for the best match."

Ed gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"Come on, Ed, spit it out. I'll find out about it anyway."

Ed grabbed the front of his collar. "You do anything and I'll kill you."

Roy shook his head. "You wouldn't. You don't have the eyes of a killer."

Ed swallowed hard and tightened his grip even more. "Try me."

Roy caressed Ed's head again, making shivers run up and down Ed's spine. Ed grinned furiously.

"Are you mocking me?" he growled and hugged him, Ed still holding his collar.

"No, Ed. Being able to kill isn't a good thing", Roy answered and rubbed Ed's back. Ed growled.

"It is when there's someone to protect", he snarled. "And I have."

Roy took a few steps back as Ed released his collar. "Your father is not God, Ed. He's just a human. He doesn't even know that you're alive. He'll be absolutely helpless when we save your brother. We just need you to answer some questions. When he finds out it's already too late."

Ed shook his head. "He'd never forgive me. He's my only father. I don't want him to be angry."

"He might be your only father, but you'll have your Dad", Roy said. Ed's head shot up.

"…Are you just saying that to make me tell you?" Ed asked. "Because I'll never forgive you, then."

Roy sighed. "Sometimes you need to make sacrifices, Ed. As an alchemist I think you'd know that."

"I do!"

"Well that's good. Now I'm asking you to make the sacrifice of believing in me. Trust me, Ed. Tell me what I need to know."

Ed gritted his teeth. "I can't trust you."

Roy snorted. "And why is that?"

"You aren't worth trusting", Ed said stubbornly. Roy's eyes narrowed.

"And why's that?" he growled. Ed grunted.

"If you can't even simply apologize to someone, what would make you think that I'd ever be able to trust you?" he muttered.

"Well, _I am deeply sorry_, Ed", Roy muttered back. Ed shook his head.

"I don't need an apology and that tone was wrong anyway."

Roy grunted. "Don't be a know-it-all."

"Don't be a bastard", Ed shot back. "And don't get angry to me because you can't apologize, it isn't _my_ fault."

Roy laughed. "You want me to apologize to _Riza_, don't you?"

"I messed things up, I need to fix them", Ed said determinately. Roy raised his eyebrows mockingly.

"And you think that _me_ apologizing is _you_ fixing it?" he laughed. Ed smiled evilly.

"Yes, because I made you to. Just think if it's worth it."

Roy crossed his hands. "Will you give me a word that you'll tell me everything if I do that?"

Ed leaned back. "I'll tell you my name. But if you break my faith in you, you aren't getting it back."

Roy walked to the door but turned back to see Ed before opening it.

"You have guts, you know."

Ed smirked. "I know."

He stepped out and closed the door.

* * *

Riza was yelling to Havoc, who had apparently dropped his lighter while trying to lighten another cigarette. Havoc had his ears covered and the cigarette lightened correctly hanging from the corner of his mouth. Roy hawked to get their attention. He wasn't actually delighted to see Riza in that bad mood right now.

"…Hi. Could I talk to you for a second?" he asked Riza. Havoc was already halfway out of the room anyway, taking his chance to disappear as the distraction came. Riza sighed and nodded, crossing her hands.

Roy sighed, trying to swallow his pride. "I'm sorry", he blurted out. Riza raised her eyebrows.

"Can you repeat that, I don't think I heard you. Say it slower", she said. Roy was sure that she had heard him but wanted to torture him before talking more about it.

"I'm sorry", he said. Riza rolled her eyes, saying silently 'go on'. Roy swallowed again. "I… I was being… an idiot. I was an idiot this morning. And I am sorry for it."

Riza smiled. "Really, huh?"

"Really."

Riza leaned back with a smart look on her face, making Roy slightly worried. "And what made you apologize? You rarely do that."

Roy snorted. "Okay, okay, Ed made me apologize. You got me."

Riza kissed him and he jumped back slightly, confused why. Hadn't he just admitted that he didn't come to apologize by his own will? Riza's hands ran through his hair. He gave in to the moment. After a while she drew back.

"That kid is good company to you", she said with a smile. "And I'm sorry too, I started it."

"We were both acting immature. That's not a good thing to do in front of a child", Roy laughed. "Oh, he opened up a little, by the way. I wouldn't call him an innocent angel anymore."

"Well that's good anyway. And no one's perfect", Riza said and kissed him again. "I missed that. We haven't kissed in a while."

"Yeah…" Roy agreed. Riza smirked.

"So, what was your and Ed's deal?"

Roy's eyes widened. "Who was talking about a deal?"

"I know you too well, Roy", Riza sighed as an answer. Roy smiled and scratched his neck.

"He promised to tell me his name."

Riza's eyes widened. "Did he really?"

"Yes. I just hope he keeps that promise", Roy muttered. "You never know when it comes to him. I think I'm going to need you to witness him that I really apologized."

Riza grabbed his hand. "What are we even doing here anymore? Let's go."

* * *

Ed rocked himself slightly on the couch as he eyed the clock. It had been already 15 minutes. Roy probably wouldn't have the guts. He grinned. Just then the door opened and he looked up amazedly to see Riza and Roy walking in, hand to hand. Riza had a warm smile on her face.

"Hello, Ed", she greeted him. Ed smiled nervously too.

"Hi."

Roy pointed at Riza. "I apologized. Your turn."

Ed waited for a moment before believing him. Then he sighed.

"…It's Edward Elric."

They smiled at him. Riza petted his hair. People seemed to be doing that quite a lot. "Ooh, but that is such a nice name."

Roy smirked. "One of my guesses was right, I see."

Ed's eyes narrowed. "Don't be too cocky, bastard", he growled furiously.

Riza and Roy looked at each others.

"…We really need to make you stop using inappropriate words", Riza said.

* * *

I'd appreciate to get a ton of reviews! Don't be shy!


	9. Promise

I'm back. I'm not sure about this chapter... it's kind of confusing. But anyway. I feel way better. Thanks for support.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 9  
**__Promise_

They had decided that Ed would keep living in Roy's apartment, no matter the previous incident. Riza promised to visit everyday and even take care of Ed if Roy was too busy to. Ed sat silently next to them as they kept talking about what to do, not really hearing his conversation as he was leaning to the back of the couch tiredly.

After ten minutes Roy was working with his delayed paperwork again, not really even reading the papers as he quickly signed them, cursing that he didn't have time to do them at all. Ed looked at him curiously.

"Shouldn't you read them first?" he asked curiously as papers were flying around and picked one that hit his nose up. "See, even this one. You just signed someone's request if he can start using alchemical experiments with living human's insides. I don't think that's a nice thing. If he does something wrong he can end up doing a human transmutation. That's forbidden. I don't think he should play with human lives."

Roy's head shot up. "Damn. Give it back, I'll just rip it into pieces, burn and say it never arrived here. And you can't read my papers, some of the contains of them might be confidential."

Ed shrugged and walked to return the paper to Roy. "What I'm saying is that you really should read them. You might get in troubles if you don't."

"Stop it, prodigy, I'm busy", Roy growled back. "You think I have time to read every single report?"

Ed shook his head. "At least eye it a little to see what it's about. You don't have to read them word to word."

Roy sighed. "You're an annoying brat, you know."

Ed's face turned red. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A NAIL OF A MOUSE'S HOUSE THAT IS SO SMALL THAT WHEN YOU STEP ON IT YOUR FOOT STARTS HURTING BUT BECAUSE IT'S SO SMALL YOU CAN'T SEE IT AND KNOW WHAT'S CAUSING THE PAIN!?!?"

"If you want to put it that way, be my guest. And I was talking about you", Roy answered and started eyeing the next paper. Ed growled furiously and left the room with a loud slam of the door, making Roy look up.

"Somehow I prefer the times when he wasn't so overdramatic…" he muttered angrily as he returned to his paperwork.

* * *

Ed was sitting politely on one of the corners of the room, out of the way and pretty much unnoticeably. Breda and Havoc poked each others before going over. Ed raised his head as they came closer, his instincts telling him to stay on guard.

"Hello, little man", Havoc said. Ed growled.

"I'm not little", he growled as an answer. Somehow it felt nice to just being mostly yourself but at the same time it was getting on his nerves. Havoc chuckled.

"How tall are you? 130cm? And you're almost 13 years old? People like that are called little. That's the way it is", Havoc answered with a smiled and offered him a hand to help him stand up. Ed didn't take it but got up anyway.

"What do you want?" he asked as he looked seriously in their eyes. "You don't seem that kind of people who just come to talk to me."

Breda snorted. "Did you ever think that maybe we just wanted to be nice for a while and get to know you a little better and pat your back now that you got Roy to apologize someone? I won a bet for that!" he said as he smiled happily and showed him his wallet. "And just so you know, I got a quite a lot of money."

"…Okay?" Ed answered a little unsure how to react. …And what was a bet? Well he wasn't going to ask that.

Havoc grabbed his hand. "Come on, let's go for a walk! Grab some sandwiches from a café outside, the stuff they give us here is just _awful_."

Ed tried to yank his hand back. "I can't go without permission."

Breda winked. "Would it be any fun without a risk?"

Ed's mouth dropped as he stared. "…No… but-!"

"Then let's go!" Havoc said and threw him over his shoulder as a yelp escaped from his mouth.

"Hey, put me-!"

"Down? Then you'd just go on bragging about how you can't. You've got to have some fun, kiddo", Havoc answered as they started walking rapidly on the hallways, looking around so they wouldn't stumble upon Riza. Roy was of course safely on his office. And judging by the papers: he wasn't getting out of it for a while.

After some minutes they had dragged the unwilling boy to one of the cafés in Central and handed him a sandwich as they started wandering on the streets, Ed looking curiously around. Breda snorted.

"Don't they show you enough sights?" he growled. Ed looked up quickly, getting slightly scared as the memories rushed back and his instincts tried to take over but he forced them aside a calm look on his face.

"Riza and Roy need to work and I haven't really lived in a place like this before…" Ed said. "We had cows there. One of my friend's family had a few too. We often got to ride them as kids."

Breda raised his eyebrows. "Okay. Did you know how to even ride them or did the cows ever even got taught?"

Ed smiled. "I don't know, I was little. Probably not."

Havoc patted his head harshly. "Why didn't you ever try riding a bull, cowboy?"

"We weren't allowed to go near them, they're dangerous", Ed answered, trying to keep his voice steady as he felt irritate growing inside of him. "Have you always lived in here?"

Havoc shook his head. "No. I come from the Western countryside. Breda's slightly from the South but still pretty near to Central. And we can't really call that place a countryside, can we?"

Breda laughed. "No, definitely not. But that's just good, I would've gone _crazy_ if I would've had to ride cows."

Both men were laughing and Ed didn't really know if he was supposed to laugh or punch them so he just walked silently next to them. They were still laughing as Ed's eyes travelled to one of the tables in the restaurant on their left side, his eyes widening as he saw two men discussing about something seriously. He knew the other man.

The golden eyes had lost the familiar warmth that one day sparkled with every gentle smile that was wiped away. Ed's own eyes turned dark and his mind shut down as his instincts told him to run as fast as he could.

He obeyed.

He took steps back and ran away as fast as he could before Breda or Havoc even realised anything. After a while they stopped laughing and looked down to find the kid gone. Their eyes widened as they looked at each others, mouths hanging open.

"…What the..!? Roy's going to kill us! If he gets to do that before Hawkeye's going to shoot us!" Havoc whined and started scanning the crowd around them. Breda growled furiously.

"We didn't mean to offend him or anything, damn it!"

Havoc grabbed his arm. "Come on, we've got to find him before someone else does. Otherwise we're in enormous problems."

* * *

Ed crushed into people and heard complains and furious people yelling at him but he didn't stop. He ran, step following the previous one, his mind almost blank. He couldn't even register the thoughts he happened to think as the air hit his face trying to slow him down. His lungs ached and he had started panting heavily. He lifted his right hand to grab the fabric on the left side of his chest and with his left side he leaned on one of the walls around him. He closed his eyes.

The nightmares tried to flash before his closed eyes so he opened them again.

After a brief while he continued walking again watching back almost all the time. He was paranoid, he knew it. But he couldn't help it. He had learned to stay on guard.

…If the bastard was here it meant Al was home alone. If he even was at home.

Ed started to panic but at the same time he felt hope rising on his chest. Al… Al… He wanted to talk to Al. He needed to. He needed to get to Resembool.

…It might've helped him if he'd had any idea where he even was at the moment! He didn't even have any idea where to go! Nobody would help him; that was for sure. And it seemed as he was far away from Resembool, this wasn't even countryside.

No. There was no chance he'd see Al. He sat slowly down on the ground and curled his arms around his knees. There was no hope.

Well there was hope, but it wasn't leading into anything.

"HEY! EDO!" Havoc yelled as he and Breda ran towards him. He raised his head slightly, remembering that he had ran away. Would these people punish him? He didn't even care.

"What the hell got into you?" Breda asked. "If you don't like our jokes, say so. Don't run away."

Ed got up looking at the stony ground. "I didn't get offended by those. I just… I'm sorry."

Havoc patted his back. "Okay, but we better get back to headquarters, don't we? And could you not mention about this to Roy or Riza, they'll kill us. You don't want that on your conscious, trust me. And you don't want to see it. It would be ugly and it would give you traumas. So, keep your mouth shut."

Ed nodded as they started walking back towards the headquarters, thankfully for the fact that it was just another way than where he had seen the man.

He didn't know what he wanted anymore.

…Phone.

He froze. That was the key. Phone. He grabbed Havoc's sleeve.

"I won't tell Riza and Roy about this if you let me make one call. You pay."

Breda and Havoc looked at each others, seeming annoyed. Ed didn't back away.

"…Fine. You pay, Breda, this was your idea", Havoc muttered. Breda grunted as they started to walk towards a phone booth.

* * *

Havoc and Breda were waiting outside as Ed put the pennies in the machine and stopped to think. He knew this number, he had to. He had to get it right.

Slowly he started dialling and waited. Pick up, Al. We've been ordered to do so, you would never stand up against his will, would you? Al had to be alright. Just… had to.

"_Alphonse Elric on the phone."_

Ed's heart almost stopped beating. He breathed out heavily out of relief. "…Al?"

"…_Who is this?"_ Al asked fearfully. Ed smiled.

"I'm alive, Al, I'm okay. Are you okay?"

"_Brother, is it really you!? But… but he said you were dead, he was crying, he was so serious, what happened?"_

Ed sighed heavily. "It's okay Al. If I wouldn't be alive, I wouldn't be calling. I'm in Central now, do you know where Central is? Do you have a map or something?"

"…_I don't know where he keeps them if he even has them."_

Ed growled and massaged his temple.

"Okay, Al, we've got to find them. I need instructions so I can get home. He's in here but I don't know for how long so we have to be quick. Try… try kitchen."

"_Okay, wait a second…"_

For a while Ed kept rummaging his fingers on the phone before he heard Al's breathing again.

"_Not there. Sorry. Any other ideas? I already checked his room and lounge too."_

"Then they it has to be in his study. Go in, don't touch in anything you don't need to touch and make sure it looks just the same as you got in when you leave. Can you do that?"

"_Yeah. Wait a while."_

Ed closed his eyes while waiting.

"_Got it. But Central's pretty far away, brother. You should use train and it'll cost quite a lot… you have to head to the East until you get to Resembool. Do you know where the train station is?"_

"No, but I can ask people on the streets. I'll see when I can leave, I'll take the first chance I get, I promise. I'll be home soon."

"_Where are you anyway? You sure aren't sleeping on the streets? You haven't talked to people, have you? What… Where are you?"_

"…Al, I'm living with a nice man, he's really nice, he promised not to tell. I trust in him. I know a few people here now, they take care of me. They don't want me to leave, though. I've got to run when I get the chance. I'll feel bad about it, though…" he ended regretfully.

"_Brother, he'll find out. You know he will."_

"Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he can't find out everything. If he still thinks I'm dead, it proves it."

"_If you come back he'll know. I don't want you to get hurt."_

"I'm good in covering my tracks. Don't worry, Al. I'll come home. And he won't try to kill me again. I promise. I won't let him."

"…_He's been really sad, __brother. He misses you. He feels guilty. He didn't mean to… well, kill you. He's been crying. We miss you. He actually hugged me the next morning."_

Ed bit his lip. "…He just can't stop himself. That's his problem."

"_He's sorry. Do you know he's in Central?" _

"Yeah, Al, I saw him." 

"_Maybe you should just go to him and ask him to get you home. He won't hurt you."_

"I don't trust him, Al. I just don't. If he finds me in here, I'm screwed."

"_Please, brother. Please. Try to find him. Those people can't stop you, he's your father, you have the right to go with them. I just want you home again. He wants you to come home too. It's different without you."_

"…I don't trust him, Al."

"_Do it for me."_

"I can't now… and I'm not sure if I get the chance later. But I'll come home, I promise."

"_You aren't even considering it. You just say so."_

Ed smiled. "You know me too well."

"_I know I do. How much time do you have?"_

Havoc knocked to the door and Breda rolled his eyes. Ed's smile faded. "Sorry, I've got to go. I'll see you again. I promise."

"_Keep that promise. If he comes first can I tell him about you?"_

"…Alright. But I'll try to get there first."

"_Brother?"_

"Mmh?"

"…_I'm happy you're alive."_

Ed smiled sadly. "I'm happy too."

He ended the call.

* * *

Ed was sitting on the couch again, watching the papers fly around. He looked over the back of the couch again.

"Are you reading them now?" he asked hesitantly. Roy snarled.

"Almost. I'm working on that one."

Ed sighed. "You really should read them. I'll tell Riza if you don't."

Roy dropped one pile to the ground and cursed heavily as he got up and started to look for the unsigned papers. "Don't you dare to tell Riza. Let's keep this as our secret, it'll be fun. Think about it."

Ed shook his head. "You're just avoiding your responsibility. Why would I help you?"

Roy smiled. "I'll give you cookies."

Ed looked at him confusedly. "Cookies?"

Roy sighed. This kid didn't know what cookies were? He had to be the only one. "They're food. Really good food. Sugary."

"…Better than noodles?" Ed asked confusedly, leaning his chin on the dark fabric of the couch, obviously curious. Roy just needed to take advantage of it.

"Way better than noodles. Or at least almost every human on this planet say so."

Ed smiled. "What are they like?"

"There are many kinds of cookies. Many flavours. Some of them have _chocolate _in them."

Ed seemed confused again. "Chocolate?"

…Damn this was hard. The kid didn't know what _chocolate _was!? Roy forced himself to keep his smile up.

"Yes, chocolate. People love it. Everyone loves it. Well, not everyone, but a lot of people anyway."

"So if I won't tell Riza, you'll promise to start reading the papers and give me chocolate cookies?" Ed asked.

"Yes. We'll see about that reading thing-"

Ed's eye's narrowed dangerously. Roy gulped.

"Erm, I mean, err, I'll learn to read them so at the end of the week I'll read every paper I sign so I know what I'm signing."

Ed smiled. "Okay. When do I get cookies?"

Roy lifted the papers on his desk again as he crushed to his chair. "Let's go buy them after work."

"Do you like chocolate cookies?" Ed asked curiously again.

"Yes. They're good."

"You can have some too."

* * *

But how can Ed leave when he's gotten so attatched to Roy and Riza? Mwahaa, this means _problems_.


	10. Home, bittersweet home

**READ THIS:** No one got alerted by chapter 9. So if you haven't read it yet, read it first. Please. I tried to send as many PMs and review replies as I could telling about it but still I don't think I managed to get them for everyone. So... yup.

Yes people. You know what? **You're getting a chapter about Al! **Many of my reviewers have been asking for this for quite a long time now. Actually first I didn't really plan writing it but then one night I just started to think how Al was doing and... BOOM! I just had to write this. I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. And I never will.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 10  
**__Home, bittersweet home_

Al was frozen to where he was as his father dragged his brother out of the house, uncontrollable trembling taking over his small form as the fear rose on his head, making the trembles worsen. He swallowed for a few times with wide eyes before starting to rock himself back and forth, his arms curled around himself trying to give him the gentleness and compassion he needed.

After a while he stood up shakily and wiped his forehead as he started making his way to the window in the living room quickly, scared it might be the last chance for him to see his older brother, if he even managed to get that glimpse. He felt like crying but he forced it back, laying his hands on the window, not caring if he left some marks in it.

Nothing mattered if his brother was taken away from him.

His breathing was fragmentary as he saw his father carrying his brother away. It didn't take long until he was unable to see them anymore. He tried to swallow but it was like there was something stuck in his throat. Guilt rose up in his mind.

It was his fault. _His_. If he'd just stayed in their room their father wouldn't have gotten mad and hit him. If that hadn't happened, Ed wouldn't have hit their father. It was his entire fault. His little mistake had cost him a lot. It had cost his brother a lot. It strangled him.

_Brother, I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry_, he thought sorrowfully as he sat on the floor and buried his head in his thighs which he drew close to him. His mind was messed up. It felt unreal. It wasn't as though he was dreaming, but it wasn't like reality either. It was like… he was there, but Ed would be still sleeping and his father would be somewhere away too. Like he was alone, just thinking of this. Making it up.

It couldn't happen, right? His father would never hurt his brother. The man would beat him up worse than ever and then bring back home and Al would take care of him, he would take their old clothes from the wardrobe and torn slices of them to bandage his brother up and make sure he stayed in his bed until he was healed enough to leave it again.

…He didn't even know what to believe in. Ed had crossed the lines. But he was Ed, their father wouldn't hurt him. Well, he would if he got that stupid idea that it wasn't Ed or whatever. Then he'd hurt Ed really badly. But he wouldn't_ kill_ him, right? He still had a heart.

At least Al wished so. If not… he didn't even know. The world just couldn't be that cruel.

He wandered in their room and crushed on his bead, burying his head in the pillow as he curled up.

There wasn't any other way to find out expect for waiting.

* * *

He had listened hard as he heard the door downstairs open. He had even pressed his ear against the door of their room, his eyes feeling tired and his head feeling… just… weird. Airy. Nah, he couldn't describe it.

He had been at the same time furious, sorrowful, guilty-feeling and betrayed as he noticed the thing he didn't want to notice. There was only one person downstairs. It was the man. Ed wasn't there. His brother was away. Out of this house. Practically: out of his life.

He felt like screaming but he knew he couldn't. He felt like crying but he knew he wasn't allowed to cry and if he'd get caught something bad would happen to him too and his brother would be disappointed after his sacrifice. So he didn't. Instead of it he went to sit in the corned next to his bed. He always sat there when he was angry or frustrated or sad.

Too bad this time Ed wasn't trying to get him out of there.

He clenched his teeth and blinked a few times. Would he ever see his brother again? Ever? It was just so much to bear. His hands were shaking as he kept rocking himself.

Nothing ever went the way it should have gone.

They had planned to leave this place. They had planned to run away. Together. He couldn't possibly do it without his brother. His brother was the one who always guided him and kept him alive. Even at times their father had gone somewhere on business for many days and left them at home without food Ed had had some food somewhere hidden so he could feed them. Al had no idea how Ed had managed to get them without the man noticing but he had. Ed was talented in that. He hadn't even tried, Ed had told him not to. He didn't want Al to get caught.

He bit his lip so hard it started bleeding and he felt the metallic taste in his mouth, making him focus on it. He liked it. It wasn't like it tasted that good, but it fit right at the moment. He rested his head on his right shoulder, stretching in slightly. He felt the darkness rising above him. Ed wasn't trying to protect him from it anymore. It felt unreal, it felt wrong.

The situation was too hard for him to fight against, but he wasn't in the mood for giving in either. So he got up and crushed on Ed's bed where his scent still lingered. He curled up and squeezed the blankets to his chest.

It was the only way he could be close to his brother anymore.

* * *

He slept until the next morning when he woke up, raising his head slightly to look around, hoping the last day had been just a nightmare and his brother would be sitting on his bed, looking out of the window, reading or doing something else waiting him to wake up. But he saw the room from a different angle of view. He squeezed the blanket in his hand tighter.

How couldn't he be angry to anyone else except for himself? That was his problem. He should've been furious for his dead, he should've been furious for his brother's stupid instincts to protect him, but no. The only person he could fully blame was himself. He tried to tell himself that he had been the victim and it wasn't his fault, but he had been the one causing the scene, hadn't he? So who was he to even try to blame others who were just acting like themselves. He should've know better, he should've acted differently. He stood up and crawled to the end of the bed, looking out of the window, seeing the wind blowing some leaves by the window. He opened the window and cached one.

It was too beautiful to be thrown away. He would save it and keep it safe, reminding him of the autumn he lost his brother. When he lost his pillar to lean on.

_Brother wouldn't want me to give in_, he thought sadly, rotating the leaf on his hand as he watched the red edges of it and the brown playing with the slightly golden shade of the rest of the leaf. He clenched his teeth again, ignoring the fact that he might consume them. He was strong and he knew it. He hadn't let anything bring him down too badly before, this wasn't the time to give up. He might be locked in without Ed, but maybe someday someone would come and take him away from this cursed house. Maybe. But there was hope, he never gave up with the hope, he had learned not to. It gave him times to smile.

He pulled an alchemy book under the bed and positioned the leaf inside of it before closing it carefully, staring at the brown cover brushing it slightly for a while before putting it back, breathing heavily in.

He still couldn't really believe it. It was confusing. He felt bad about it but he just couldn't. He couldn't help it.

The bruise on his cheek tingled but he ignored it as he walked to the wardrobe to find some clean clothes to change into but stopped as he heard steps from the staircase, getting alerted and closing the door quickly before jumping to his bed, pulling the blanket over himself and closing his eyes.

It was a routine already.

He heard the sound of someone opening the door and stepping in, growling tiredly, probably massaging his temples because of the hangover. The steps stopped.

"…Alphonse?" his father asked and he growled acting tired before fluttering his eyes open and sitting up. His father was watching Ed's bed fearfully.

"Al, where's Ed?" Hohenheim asked as he stepped closer to him. Al kept his calm mask up.

"You took him away yesterday morning", he answered, looking at the floor. Hohenheim made a frustrated voice.

"…No… I wouldn't have done that. It can't be true, you're wrong…"

Al's shoulders rose slightly as he lowered his head trying not to piss off his father, afraid it might be the last thing he'd ever get to do.

"You were drunk and you hit me and he came and hit you and then you snapped", he mumbled quietly. Hohenheim winced before letting out a slight whine and burying his head in his hands, sitting down in Ed's bed, shoulders trembling.

"What have I done? God, what have I done, I can't have possibly done that to my son, I can't have done that to my Ed, I can't… He can't be gone…" he cried. Al looked up slightly before walking hesitantly over and sitting next to him, patting his shoulders gently.

"It was my fault, Dad. It was my fault. I'm sorry", he said as the tears finally rose in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Admitting it loud was the worse. It made it inerasable. His father looked at him as he cried silently trying to force the tears away, scared he'd get punished for them. Instead of punishing, his father pulled him closer to his chest and ran his hands through his hair.

"It wasn't your fault, Alphonse. Don't blame yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. Blame me", he tried but Al shook his head.

"I can't… No matter what, I just can't…" he sobbed silently, burying his head deeper in the source of warmness. His father rocked him slightly.

"It'll be alright. There's still the two of us, we can make it. Your Mum and Ed have gone to a better place. They'll be looking at you all the time and taking care of you. They want you to live happily, and when you die, you'll see them again", Hohenheim tried.

"You don't believe in that even by yourself", Al noted as his father squeezed harder.

"Sometimes we don't believe in the right things, Al."

Al wiped his tears in his father's shirt. He didn't answer but he agreed with his father.

He himself believed in the wrong things all the time.

"I'm sorry Alphonse. I'm sorry", his father said and Al felt his tears falling on his forehead.

So was he.

* * *

Life without Ed was weird and hard. Every second he wished his brother would walk in again, smiling slightly and hugging him, telling he shouldn't blame himself and it had been his own choice. But day after day it started to seem more and more impossible until he didn't believe in it even by himself. He was tired of watching out of the window all day long. But it didn't mean he stopped doing it. He couldn't.

He had to have hope, even false one, so he could live from one day to another. There was a way he could meet his brother again. There was always a way; he just had to figure it out.

And he _would_ figure it out. No matter what. Those were the things that spanned in his mind as he rotated the leaf between his fingers, looking out of the dirty window until the sun set down and he couldn't make out the shapes from the darkness anymore.

His father wasn't taking Ed's lack of presence well.

Of course. He and Ed had been all their father had had left anymore. They were the things that he cherished the most. No matter the times he couldn't control himself and hurt them, no matter the words they never exchanged. Their father loved them.

Now he and Al had lost another person they loved. Al felt like he was taking it as well as he could in his situation but his father had been crushed already by the death of their Mum. The death of Ed… Al was afraid it would drive him over the edge. Then he'd have no one left anymore. No one. It frightened him.

He missed their whole family. Whole and happy. Now it was… torn and anxious. Sometimes it felt like it wasn't worth it anymore. But he couldn't leave his Dad. Just couldn't. Then he'd be all alone. No one should be alone.

His father spent a lot of his time drinking again. Pretty much like after their Mum's death. Al tried to stay out of the way. When their father was drunk he got violent. He didn't always mean to hurt them but he did. For a few times Al got in the wrong room in the long time and his father beat him up, bellowing to him asking why he didn't stop him from taking Ed away. Why he didn't stop him killing Ed. Later Al's whole body was sore and aching as he wandered tiredly to his and Ed's room and crushed to his bed looking at the empty wall. Sometimes his father would apologize for him the next day. Sometimes not.

One morning after a bad beating with his father's bare hand and some china bowls, Al woke up, pain shooting up his body mostly focusing on his left wrist. He gasped and grabbed it with his right one, trying to block out the pain. He breathed in slowly before opening his eyes again and watching at the wrist, finding it swollen and slightly purple. He had probably twisted it badly. He got up trying to move the wrist as little as he could and used his feet to help him tore a piece of his old, already torn T-shirt and tied his wrist up with it. He had done that a lot with Ed but using only one hand and putting it on himself was a lot harder and took him a lot longer.

He heard the steps on the staircase again and jumped back to his bed pulling his blanket on him. The door opened and his father walked to him and kneeled down next to his bed.

"Alphonse, wake up. I'm leaving for a while", he said and petted his head. Al opened his eyes and sat up, his father taking his hands on his. Al made sure his long sleeve covered his hurt wrist. His father hated seeing the damage he had done and refused to believe that they really hurt and yelled at him and Ed saying that they were overreacting.

"I'm have to got to Central for a few days because of my work. Someone wants to buy my alchemy book and I need to go and discuss about it. Will you be alright in here?" he asked gently. Al nodded.

"Good. I'll see when I can get back. Take care", he said and got up again, walking out of the room, leaving Al looking silently out of the window.

His father's leaving meant many long and quiet days full of starving and boredom. He didn't have any company anymore either. He didn't like being at the house alone. He got scared. He just hated the thick and silent air, the dirty rooms and smelling bottles. He saw things that didn't exist in the shadows.

Once he had had Ed to tell him that they didn't exist and even if they did, they wouldn't hurt him. Now he was alone with his nightmares and overactive imagination.

He heard the door downstairs close and shivers ran through his back as he watched out of the window to the beautiful countryside of Resembool and his father walking away with two bags in his strong hands.

He ignored the fact how the hands had gotten as strong as they were.

He sighed and walked downstairs to the kitchen and started checking out how much food there was in the house and how much he could eat per one day so there wouldn't be days without food at all. Unfortunately they seemed to be running out of food again. He sighed as he started counting the pieces of toasts still on the plastic bag and the fruits in the bowl on the table. After that he went through every cupboard in the kitchen, finding two packages of pasta. He also remembered one of Ed's stacks and checked it out, finding a packet of rice. Now he just had to follow the instructions while cooking… Ed had always been the one to cook. He had been helping as much as he could but Ed usually told him to go and read something or watch TV. After a lot of bickering he usually gave in.

That day he read some books and ate only bread, not wanting to waste the food because he had no idea when his father was returning. With bad luck, it might take over a month. But that was with really bad luck.

He watched out of the window, not really even focusing in anything anymore at night. He avoided watching in shadows. He didn't want any panic attacks. His brother would've wanted him to be brave now that he was gone.

Later he curled up in his bed after checking that the leaf was still in the book.

* * *

One day the phone rang, sending Al jump up from the couch violently. He swallowed as he to the hallway and picked the phone up hesitantly.

"Alphonse Elric on the phone."

There was a pause. Al waited. But then he heard a voice which made his heart almost stop out of shock. _"…Al?"_

"…Who is this?" he asked fearfully, swallowing hard. It couldn't be, just couldn't, dead people couldn't call… Was he getting called by a ghost!? He had to be the first one! It freaked him out! This was a sick joke.

"_I'm alive, Al, I'm okay. Are you okay?"_

No. There was no mistake. That was his brother. He knew his brother's voice. "Brother, is it really you!? But… but he said you were dead, he was crying, he was so serious, what happened?"

Ed sighed heavily at the end of the line. _"It's okay Al. If I wouldn't be alive, I wouldn't be calling. I'm in Central now, do you know where Central is? Do you have a map or something?"_

"…I don't know where he keeps them if he even has them", he answered, looking nervously around.

He heard a growl coming from the phone. He was still too shocked to really understand what was going on but he didn't remember the last time he had been this happy and hopeful. He even smiled.

"_Okay, Al, we've got to find them. I need instructions so I can get home. He's in here but I don't know for how long so we have to be quick. Try… try kitchen."_

"Okay, wait a second…" he said and lied the phone down before running in the kitchen, pulling every cupboard, the table and the floor cursing for not finding what he was looking for. He needed it so Ed could get home. He _needed _it. Damn it, he was going to get it, even if it didn't exist.

He ran to the lounge and checked everything again without succeeding to find what he wanted. After that he ran to their father's room, gasping after he smelled the scent of alcohol and moved the bottles to make way to the bookshelf. No avail. He ran back to the phone.

"Not there. Sorry. Any other ideas? I already checked his room and lounge too."

"_Then they it has to be in his study. Go in, don't touch in anything you don't need to touch and make sure it looks just the same as you got in when you leave. Can you do that?"_

He hesitated. The study. They weren't allowed to get in it. Hadn't ever been. That rule was very strict.

…But he needed to go. He would do it if he would be able to get his brother back by doing so. "Yeah. Wait a while."

He opened the door and looked in, his eyes wandering on the shelves and the tables. Papers were lying around, pens lost under them as his father had been making notes. He looked at the shelf and gasped.

The books were about human transmutations.

No, he didn't have time for it now. He had to forget it. He needed a map. Yes, a map. He forced his eyes away, feeling his heart beating painfully in his chest, his eyes uncomfortably wide. He blinked a few times before focusing again.

There. On the table. There was a map. He grabbed it and ran out of the room which sent shivers through his back.

"Got it. But Central's pretty far away, brother. You should use train and it'll cost quite a lot… you have to head to the East until you get to Resembool. Do you know where the train station is?" he asked as he eyed the map carefully.

"_No, but I can ask people on the streets. I'll see when I can leave, I'll take the first chance I get, I promise. I'll be home soon."_

He'd be home soon. Al would be able to see him again soon. "Where are you anyway? You sure aren't sleeping on the streets? You haven't talked to people, have you? What… Where are you?"

"…_Al, I'm living with a nice man, he's really nice, he promised not to tell. I trust in him. I know a few people here now, they take care of me. They don't want me to leave, though. I've got to run when I get the chance. I'll feel bad about it, though…"_

No. Please, no. It was forbidden! When did his brother start breaking the rules this badly? He was happy that Ed was alive and happy and safe but still, other people! He couldn't be serious!

"Brother, he'll find out. You know he will."

"_Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he can't find out everything. If he still thinks I'm dead, it proves it."_

Al shook his head, ignoring the fact that Ed couldn't see him. "If you come back he'll know. I don't want you to get hurt."

"_I'm good in covering my tracks. Don't worry, Al. I'll come home. And he won't try to kill me again. I promise. I won't let him."_

"…He's been really sad, brother. He misses you. He feels guilty. He didn't mean to… well, kill you. He's been crying. We miss you. He actually hugged me the next morning….He just can't stop himself. That's his problem", Al said silently. "He's sorry. Do you know he's in Central?"

"_Yeah, Al, I saw him." _

Ed had seen him? Central had to be smaller than Resembool. Weird, he had gotten the picture that it was the other way around. "Maybe you should just go to him and ask him to get you home. He won't hurt you."

"_I don't trust him, Al. I just don't. If he finds me in here, I'm screwed."_

"Please, brother. Please. Try to find him. Those people can't stop you, he's your father, you have the right to go with them. I just want you home again. He wants you to come home too. It's different without you."

It wasn't only different. It was… unbearable without Ed.

"…_I don't trust him, Al."_

"Do it for me", he pleaded.

"_I can't now… and I'm not sure if I get the chance later. But I'll come home, I promise."_

"You aren't even considering it. You just say so", Al said disappointedly, feeling his hands shaking.

"_You know me too well."_

Of course he did. Ed was the person he had spent his life with the most. The only person who cared about him without hurting him. "I know I do. How much time do you have?"

"_Sorry, I've got to go. I'll see you again. I promise."_

This soon? After all these days with the expression Ed was dead and this was all they were able to talk now.

"Keep that promise. If he comes first can I tell him about you?"

"…_Alright. But I'll try to get there first."_

"Brother?" he asked quickly before Ed was able to end the call. He wasn't sure if he was just imagining the call or what, but he felt something warm in on his cheeks.

"_Mmh?"_

"…I'm happy you're alive."

There was a brief pause. _"I'm happy too."_

Ed ended the call.

Al didn't lay the phone from his hands in the next two hours.

* * *

I just love Al. Honestly. He's like my dream guy. Perfect for me, but still imperfect. And he's so cute too.

I wrote to you about Al. Now it's your job to review me **:P**


	11. Runaway

Sorry it took so long to update! And I didn't plan this chapter to go entirely this way but... yeah, this is how it ended up anyway. I hope you like it.

And to answer edPod... Yup, I love Parental!RoyAl too. But Parental!RoyEd is just... I don't know. Better **:D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 11  
**__Runaway_

Ed sat on his bed, looking out of the window sadly as he pulled the thick blanket better over him. He just couldn't be happy. He had so many reasons to be happy and at times he was, but still, mostly he found himself missing the way things were before. He missed Al. He tried to deny the fact that he missed his Dad too, but he couldn't. And then he missed Mum.

He sighed and lied down, looking at the white ceiling with a blank stare. He scratched his right leg with the left one and tried to put his pillow better as his neck started hurting.

The door opened and Roy stepped in.

"Still not sleeping?" he asked and sighed. Ed shook his head as an answer. "You've been here for three hours. It's midnight. You need some sleep", Roy said worriedly as he kneeled down next to him and moved some of his golden bangs off his face.

"I've gotten used to not sleeping much", Ed said and turned away from the warm hand, curling up and looking at the wall. Roy didn't leave.

"Is there something that bothers you?" he asked gently. Ed shook his head. Roy smiled. "I don't believe that, Ed. You know you can tell me anything."

Ed looked sadly at the wall and closed his eyes for a brief while before opening them slowly again.

"I'm okay", he said silently. Roy started stroking his head gently.

"Do you have nightmares?" he asked. Ed bit his lip as he shivered.

"No."

"Are you lying?" Roy asked. Ed curled up more.

"…Are you going to hurt me if I am?" he asked blankly and turned to see Roy better with his tired eyes. Roy shook his head.

"…No", Ed said.

Roy smiled sadly, still petting his head. "…What are they about?"

Ed's eyes narrowed and he looked away grumpily. His breathing had become heavier. "…Water. And pain."

"…What was it like when your father had left you in the sea?" Roy asked gently. Ed swallowed.

"I don't want to talk about it", he said and turned around again. Roy curled his hands around him.

"Talking helps. You must be in shock and think about it all the time."

Ed's eyes were half closed as he curled up even more. "…Yeah. Though lately I've started to think about other things too."

Roy breathed in the youth's hair, making him relax and lean into him. "So… what was it like?"

"…It was cold. The water was just… it was freezing. And my clothes were so heavy. I'm not really a good swimmer, the last time I swam before it was years ago. And I didn't see anything else but water. I just… I just swam", Ed said with a trembling voice and swallowed. "The sun was shining and it was slightly warming my face but the water was so freezing that I couldn't really pay attention to it. It was horrible when I accidentally got water on my face, it was so cold. The water made my body sting and shiver and I could move only stiffly… I almost gave up. It was so cold and I was so tired and the salty water made the wounds burn and it just hurt so much. Sometimes I just let the water take me somewhere. I stopped looking for land, I just swam to one direction, but I'm not sure if the direction changed several times. I was so scared, I thought I was going to drown. I don't want to drown, I don't want to die to the lack of oxygen…" His eyes were filled with tears. "It's just so horrible to realise that there's just water around you. You can't breathe. You see the surface but you can't reach it, no matter that you could breathe in there. The body stiffens and aches everywhere. The mind screams for air. It's all I could think of as I was under water. And I… I couldn't help but breathe water and it hurt so much and it didn't help at all. It was frightening. Then after a while everything went black."

Ed was crying in his arms, the terrors taking over him as he thought about it. He hiccupped and tried to force air to his lungs. Roy took him on his lap and covered him with the blanket.

"It's alright, Ed. It's alright. You aren't there anymore. You can breathe freely now. And your wounds have started to heal too. They don't hurt that much anymore, do they? You're safe here. Nothing like that will happen to you ever again. I promise it. I'll look after you so no one can hurt you", he said as he pressed Ed's face to his chest. Ed sobbed silently.

"I just can't forget it. I can't, it's so horrible but I can't forget it. I try not to think about it but I get flashes of it in my mind all the time. And in the nightmares I have to live it again", Ed muffled as he curled his hand around Roy's shirt. "…And I'm worried about Al too."

Roy rubbed Ed's back and laid his head on the youth's shoulder. "You know we can help Al. Just… just tell us what we need to know."

Ed shook his head angrily and tried to get away from Roy's hands. "You'd just hurt him."

"Calm down, Ed. We'd never hurt Al", Roy tried but Ed didn't stop.

"I'm not talking about Al. You'd hurt my Father. I… I can't let you do that. And I can't let you take us away. I want to go home. Please, let me go home."

Roy used his right hand to make Ed look up to him with his golden eyes. "Why do you want to go back to that hell, Ed? What's wrong with us?"

"…You're not the same", Ed mumbled and looked away again.

"Why? We're better, Ed. You should choose us."

"…No! Don't say it! Why would I choose you? Why would you be any better? Why would I choose you over my family? Why?" Ed demanded to know furiously. Roy got angry.

"Why, you ask. Why don't you _think_ why? We care about you-!"

"Al and Father care about me!" Ed yelled but Roy ignored him.

"We don't hurt you-!"

"He doesn't mean to do it! He can't control it! When he gets better he won't hurt us anymore!"

Roy grabbed Ed's wrists. Ed tried to force himself free as his instincts kicked in and told him to flee as fast as he could but Roy didn't let go. He squeezed his fists so hard that it hurt.

"Stop it! Stop it!" he screamed and jumped to the floor, kicking the bed trying to get more strength but Roy didn't let go. Roy got up.

"Calm down Ed!"

"NO!" he screamed and jumped up. He stepped with his right foot next to Roy's and pulled his right hand down so Roy's balance suffered and used his left leg to step on Roy's right side, slightly to his back and slipped his left arm next to Roy's head and forced him to fall to the ground, letting go of Ed's hands. Ed didn't stay looking if he'd hurt Roy but fled as fast as he could.

Roy didn't yell anything nor did he run after him. Panic rose in his chest as he forced the front door open with widened eyes and ran to the streets without even grabbing his shoes with him.

The cold autumn wind blew through his open hair and shivers ran through his body. He was alone in the streets in a too big sleeveless black shirt and his own light blue boxers. Scary people gave him scary glares as he ran.

Had he hurt Roy? Definitely. Had he… had he killed him..? He couldn't answer it. He was lost and he had nowhere to go. And Roy hadn't come after him. He was all alone. His lower lip trembled as the freezing wind managed to strike him again. He needed a place to cover him from it.

But he didn't know such a place.

He buried his head in his hands and tried took deep breaths. Where would he go?

…Home.

He removed his hands from his face, taking in the last deep breath and started running. But he didn't have any money! Then he'd have to travel hidden. But first he needed to find the train station.

He didn't see any people around him anymore and he cursed mentally.

His mind made up an image with Roy lying in a puddle of blood. Dead. No… dying. Quickly. His eyes were hazy and his face expressed pain as he looked at him.

Ed paled and started running again to mislead his thoughts.

Had he killed Roy? Would Riza come and kill him? Would he be put in jail? Would he get killed? Taken as a slave?

Panic rose again and he extended his steps as he ran. He didn't feel the cold anymore. He was frightened.

Hadn't Riza once said that he would kill everyone who hurt the people she loved?

Ed fell and hit the ground violently, getting bruises and small cuts. His forehead was bleeding and so was his lip which had been pierced with his teeth. He squeezed his eyes shut as he used his dirty hands to get the teeth out of his lip. He tasted blood in his mouth. A lot of it. He wiped his forehead, his hand getting soaked with it too. Every inch of his body ached.

He sat up leaning to the wall behind him.

He was just so confused.

* * *

Roy woke up, pain running through his head.

"Damn it…" he swore as he sat up, trying to remember why he was lying on the floor of Ed's room after midnight, his head hurting and bleeding. He looked at the bed, wondering if he had scared Ed.

Ed wasn't there. He rubbed his eyes. Still not there.

Last night came back to him and he gasped, jumping up and grabbing his jacket and slipping his feet in his shoes, noticing that Ed had left his behind. Maybe he was still there.

"Ed? Ed, if you're here, say it now. I won't hurt you!" he yelled and waited for a while. Damn it. He had probably fled. Roy locked the door just to be safe as he ran to the streets, looking around. People were pointing at him for running in his pyjamas.

This reminded him that Ed hadn't had much to wear either. He had to be freezing. And Central streets weren't safe anyway. Ed didn't even know the dangers the streets held.

He had to find him. And he had to find him fast.

"ED!"

* * *

Ed looked at the horizon as the sun started to rise again. The bleeding had stopped but he was feeling slightly dizzy. Not much, but anyway.

He took in a deep breath and stood up again, taking support of the wall. He noticed that he didn't need it and let go, straightening up and blinking a few times.

He was just so tired… Being tired was nothing new but it still didn't feel that good. And he definitely didn't want to sleep now. Not after all that happened. He didn't know if he wanted to sleep ever again.

He started to walk again, running into people going to work or getting their dogs out. They all looked at him worriedly and came asking if he was fine and where he was from. He just told him that he really needed to go home and he couldn't stop talking. The people kept looking after him but let him go, thinking his family was probably worried.

His eyes kept shutting down and he just felt like falling asleep but he didn't. He forced himself to stay up as he walked forward, having no idea where he was or where he was going.

As his eyes shut again he leaned to the wall, almost drifting off. Stay awake. Stay awake. Stay awake. He needed to stay awake. He couldn't sleep. He didn't want to.

…But he needed to sleep! He felt his knees giving up as he fell on them, his hands trying to support him but they gave up too. He was just so tired…

Someone tapped his shoulder. "Edo?"

Ed didn't move. The person started shaking him.

"Hey. Get up, it's not safe to sleep on the streets. Is it you, Ed?"

He groaned and fell asleep.

He was woken up right after it.

"Up, Edo. I don't know what you're doing in here, but we're getting to my apartment right now. I'll call Roy from there for further instructions. Get up now."

Ed opened his eyes and saw Havoc pulling him into a sitting position. He took tiredly his hand.

"…Don't."

Havoc snarled and threw him over his shoulder. "If Roy ever again decides to take a kid in his home, I'm making sure he looks after the kid more. What the hell has happened to you? Did someone attack you from the streets?"

Ed fell asleep again.

* * *

Hours. Roy had been searching for Ed for _hours_. Damn hours. He missed the kid and he had no idea where he was. What if someone kidnapped him? What if someone raped him? What if someone killed him? What if someone took him to police to search for his parents? None of the options sounded good. Central streets were dangerous, especially for a small child running around wearing only a small amount of clothes.

What had he done wrong? He had just told the kid the truth, damn it! Why did he deserve to be knocked out as Ed ran off to the streets? Where would Ed go? He knew nothing about Central.

Hopefully Ed hadn't taken a ride to Resembool. Another dangerous thing a retarded kid from the countryside could do in Central.

It was his entire fault! He had no idea where Ed could be or if he'd even be in Central anymore. Soon he'd need to go to the police which would send Ed back to his family. That would be Ed's death. Maybe not soon, but it would be anyway.

Roy slammed the brick wall next to him with his fist, pain shooting up of it. He cursed.

A car stopped next to him and the window opened. Roy looked to see Riza's worried face.

"Roy, what are you doing here in your pyjamas?!" she asked, motioning Roy to get in which he did.

"Ed ran away. I don't know where he is", Roy complained as he stepped in. Riza looked at him fearfully.

"Roy, you've been bleeding!" she gasped and offered him a bottle of water and hankies. Roy took them gratefully.

"I know. But could we please focus on finding him? He's been gone for hours. I'm worried."

Riza shook her head angrily. "What the hell could happen so you'd hurt your head and Ed would run away."

"…We got in a disagreement", Roy muttered. "I think I did something wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have grabbed his wrists. He panicked."

"Roy! You know he's not doing well and he gets beaten at home and you take his wrists? Did you hurt him?!" Riza asked disappointedly as she tried to look out of the window searching for Ed.

"I don't know, okay! He tried to get away and I wanted him to calm down so maybe I squeezed him a little too tightly!"

"A little too tightly is way too tightly in his case!"

"Well I'm sorry if I didn't realise it back then!" Roy bellowed back. Riza sighed.

"Roy, his mind isn't doing well, haven't you noticed? He acts like he's years younger, he hasn't gotten the chance to really grow up mentally. And he's been oppressed. Right now, he needs to start to feel safe again and grow up so his mental state reaches the point it should be in. If you think that having that kind of disagreement with him helps, I have to disagree with you", she said. Roy snorted.

"Did I already say that I'm sorry?"

"You did. I just want you to really be sorry, not just say it."

Riza pulled over at the headquarters. Roy rolled his eyes.

"Work, Riza? We should be looking for him! And I'm still wearing my pyjamas!" he snarled as Riza opened the door.

"I'm calling the others to start looking for him too. Stay here, I'll be right back."

"Fine! You better be quick!" Roy yelled after him. Riza kept walking like she didn't hear him. It had been Roy who had gotten them in this situation anyway!

She walked in Roy's office and found the phone ringing. She picked it up.

"Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye on phone, unfortunately Colonel Mustang isn't here yet. Do you want me to leave him a message?" Riza growled dangerously in the phone.

"…Hi Riza. And yeah, if you reach him before me could you tell him that I found Ed on the streets and he's now sleeping in my apartment. I tried to call him but he doesn't answer. Probably looking for him."

"Jean? You found Ed? How is he?" Riza sighed out of relief.

"Err… I don't know? Not that well anyway. Am I coming to work with him or without him or can I stay at home?"

"Drag him to work. I think he has something he need's to clear up with Roy", Riza said.

"'Kay. See ya, Riza."

* * *

Review? Pretty please and puppyeyes. ...Okay, just do it. Don't make me humiliate myself. **xD**


	12. Trigger

A chapter for you, my dear readers! Thanks for all the reviews, I'm so happy! So many so soon!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 12  
**__Trigger_

Some time later Ed woke up again, finding himself in a sofa in a place he didn't know. Shivers ran through his back as he looked up, finding Havoc staring down at him. He had probably waked him up because there was no way he would've done it by himself, considering by the horrible sleepiness that overtook him to moment his consciousness returned.

"Hi, Edo. What the hell happened to you?" he asked and gave Ed a wet rag to clean his wounds. Ed took it hesitantly.

"…Nothing", he answered as he started wiping the dry blood from his face, feeling no pain at all. Just some… annoying feelings.

Havoc blew smoke from his nose and sighed. "You don't get wounds like that over nothing. And you won't be running in the streets half asleep just over nothing. You can tell me."

Ed gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes as he tapped his lip with the rag. "I fell."

Havoc raised his eyebrows. "You _what_?"

"In the streets. I fell and got these injuries. Nothing important", Ed said, leaning to the couch again, feeling himself drift off…

"Stay awake, Ed. I'm sick of waking you up all the time and we need to get going. You just… You need pants. Let's go and see if I have any that fit you."

Ed got up, looking like he'd fall any minute so Havoc sighed and motioned him to sit down again.

"Never mind. I'll be right back", he muttered. Ed looked after him for a while before closing his eyes and curling up.

It was so warm. It had been so cold out… but here it was nicely warm. It made him even sleepier than he already was. The terrible smell of cigarettes didn't bother him that much either. He had already gotten used to it during being near Havoc. The smell had been inflicted to the office too. Never mind the uniforms of Roy's group.

He took a deep breath through his nose taking the scent in. It was just… comforting. It was really comforting. It brought back good memories. Good memories of Central.

…Which made him miss home again.

…And think about Roy. He had no idea what had happened to the man. His head felt annoying. It didn't hurt, it just… it made him grumpy. Angry. Furious. He buried his nails to his forehead, missing the wound, and pulled it down, making his face hurt burn slightly and taking his thoughts away from Roy or home for a brief while. Havoc stepped back and almost dropped is cigarette to the red carpet.

"What the hell are you doing, Edo? Don't do that, it hurts", he said with wide eyes and grabbed Ed's hand, drawing it away from the boy's face. Ed looked at him.

"It doesn't hurt. It let's me focus on something else than what I don't want to focus in", he said tiredly but Havoc waved his finger like Ed would've been a 5 year old kid stealing cookies.

"Don't do it. Whatever you do, don't do that. Self injuring isn't good. Now, put these on and we'll go", he said and handed him some old, grey pants. Ed's eyes widened.

"Where are we going?" he asked with almost a whine. Havoc smiled.

"Work. Riza and Roy will take you from there. Riza sounded worried. You shouldn't scare the off like that. If someone scares Riza she'll act grumpily for the next few days which isn't fun for us", he said and rolled his eyes. Ed pulled up the zipper of the pants. Havoc looked at him.

"Now you look a little more decent. Though your hair has some dirt in it and it's tangled. And I don't have a rubber band", he said and offered Ed a hand to help him up. Ed didn't grab it but got up. Havoc smirked.

"Stubborn, eh? Don't try to be so withdrawn all the time."

Ed looked up confusedly and Havoc sighed. "Whatever. Let's go", he said and picked Ed up on his back. Ed blinked before yelping out of shock. Havoc smiled.

"Your legs would give in anyway, judging by that faltering. Give up before you even try to get off."

Ed sulked for the whole way to the car.

* * *

As Roy and Riza arrived to the office again, after getting Roy home for a brief while so he could change to his uniform, Ed was sitting on the couch in Havoc's shorts and open and tangled hair which had some bloody knobs. His lip was badly swollen and his eyes hazy like he'd fall asleep any minute but the strength and stubbornness in him managed keep him awake. Roy rushed quickly at his side, Riza walking calmly after him.

"Ed, oh my god, are you alright? What happened?" Roy asked concernedly, making Ed look up tiredly, having a strong look in his face as he was trying to force himself for being calm. He nodded briefly.

Roy sighed. "You overreacted last night again. You've got to stop that. I wasn't going to hurt you."

Ed gritted his teeth. "And you aren't going to apologize either."

"Why would I apologize? You were the one who crashed me to the ground violently", Roy growled, narrowing his eyes. Something clicked back to him and he saw Riza polishing her gun, raising his eyebrows at him. Roy knew what she meant and growled but she pointed the gun at him so he gulped and turned back to Ed.

"I'm sorry, Ed. I didn't mean to scare you off or be rude or anything. I just wanted you to know that we care about you", he said clearly. Other officers in the room were chuckling.

Ed looked at the gun in Riza's hand curiously. "What's that clicking thing?"

Riza kneeled down and showed the gun to Ed but when Ed tried to touch it she moved his hand away. "I need you to memorize this, Ed. This is _a gun_. It's really dangerous. It… hurts and kills. It's a tool to do that. If someone _ever_ points this to you, _run_. Run fast."

Ed's eyes narrowed. "Why would someone have that? Why do _you_ have that?"

Riza smiled gently. "I use it for self-defence. And protecting the ones I love. This job is a very dangerous job. Sometimes we have to stop people who are crazy and use these and other kinds of weapons wrong and kill people."

Ed looked at her hesitantly. "…But you pointed it at Roy. He didn't run. And why would you threaten someone you love?"

Roy looked at her mockingly. She sighed.

"Roy didn't run, because if someone's too close to you, pointing it at you, it's not good to run. At that time, you should freeze. But that's only if the shooter tells you to freeze. If he doesn't, run."

"But you didn't tell him to freeze!" Ed wondered anxiously. He was confused. He didn't like 'the gun' at all.

"We've gotten through this before and he knows that I won't do anything if he does what I want him to do, so in a way he knew that he didn't have to run", Riza tried to reason.

"I don't get it", Ed stated.

Riza sighed. "Well, if someone points a gun at you and threatens, it's not someone you know. So if the person isn't too close telling you to freeze, run like hell. Alright?"

"What do you mean by too close?" Ed asked, eyeing the gun seriously. Roy patted his head.

"The bullet is very small. So the closer you are, they easier it is for the shooter to hit you. So you have to run if you think you have a chance of escaping from the bullets. But let's just say that if the shooter would be across the room and he tells you to freeze, obey. It's too close."

Ed nodded hesitantly and looked back to Riza. "You still haven't told me why you point that… gun to the people you love if it's so dangerous."

Riza scratched her head nervously. "…I pointed it at him but I wasn't really going to shoot him. I sort of… let him know that he needed to do what I wanted him to do or he'd suffer the consequences."

"Why wasn't he ignoring you if you weren't really going to shoot him?" Ed asked. Roy smirked.

"That is a good question, Ed."

"Because he knew that I was going to punish him some other way if he wouldn't have done what I wanted him to do. That's why", Riza stated.

"…OK", Ed said as Riza put the gun away.

"But it'll be unlikely for someone to point a gun at you. That happens rarely. Not even nearly everyone has to go through it", Roy said. "You should be just fine. You're… normal. Not a military officer. And not a criminal. Or a cop or anything."

"…But if I'm with you, it'll increase the chance, doesn't it?" Ed asked. Roy and Riza looked at each others.

"Don't worry about it", Riza said with a smile. Ed grinned.

"So it does, doesn't it. You're putting me in danger", he said. "I want to go home. Just let me go home."

Roy gave Riza a meaningful look, making her take a deep breath understanding that it certainly wasn't the first time Ed had been asking for that. She sat next to him and hugged him gently. Ed didn't react.

"You know we can't let you go home. See your wounds. See this", she said as she rose Ed's weirdly turned finger and moved it as much as it moved. "We don't want you to get more these kinds of wounds. It must've hurt to get that."

Ed grunted. "Not really. And it doesn't hurt either. I'm just fine. And he'll stop it once he just gets a hold of himself."

"But Ed, you can't know that", Riza tried gently again, curling her hand over Ed's damaged one. Ed looked down angrily.

"I know he's a bastard. Don't think I don't know that. But he doesn't mean to be one. Sometimes he feels bad for what he's done. And he's been missing me this time I've been away…" Ed realised his mistake soon. "At least I think he has", he added as naturally as he could.

Roy shook his head. "We aren't letting you just go home, Ed. I'm sorry. We can't. We have to do this, you understand me?"

"I don't! I don't understand you! At first you were _so_ trying to find my family and send me home and now you aren't letting me go home! I don't understand it! I just want to go home, can't you understand _me_?!" Ed raised his voice and pushed Riza away furiously. They tried to calm him down with no avail.

"HANDS OFF OF ME! Leave me alone!" Ed screamed and rushed away, banging the door loudly behind. Riza patted Roy's back.

"Go. This is your fight; you have to deal with it."

Roy turned to her angrily. "What do you mean 'our' fight? You were in it too!"

"Just go, Roy. Or do your paperwork instead of it. You can get away from it for a while if you go. I'm letting you choose", Riza said as she sat in her chair and picked up a pen. Roy grunted and ran after Ed.

* * *

Ed leaned on the wall in the hallway, noticing his hand was shaking furiously. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes tiredly, letting out a small grunt. It felt good to be able to grunt freely in the middle of other people.

The door opened and Ed recognized the steps without even opening his eyes and looking up. He was good in recognizing steps. Even though people wore the same kind of boots around the building, they had their own way of stepping which let out a different noise. Roy's steps were hard and steady, heel hitting the ground first in an odd way.

"…Did you sleep at all last night?" Roy asked as he sat down next to him, ignoring the bad looks he was receiving from the passing officers.

"…Not much", Ed snarled silently and yawned. Admitting it made him even sleepier.

"You look like you'd fall asleep any minute", Roy said. Ed could hear from his voice that his lips were curled up in a small smile. He felt bad for last night. Not that he was admitting it.

"I feel like that", he grunted, scratching his left wrist slightly and letting his head lie limply on his left shoulder.

"Then why not take a nap? It's hard for you to think clearly or discuss about things while you're half asleep, isn't it?"

"…Bastard."

Ed heard Roy turning to look at him and opened his eyes with a lot of effort, seeing the Colonel's smiling face.

"You know that swearing is a bad habit, do you?" he asked as he laid his hand on Ed's shoulder and drew him closer to him. Ed grunted again, muttering the word 'bastard'. Roy petted his hair.

"When we get home today you're going to wash that. And after you've taken a little nap we talk about last night. We talk about anything you want to talk about. We'll sort things out, won't we?" Roy said and pressed Ed's face against his chest, making Ed muffle grumpily something unrecognizable.

"That's a deal then, right?" Roy asked Ed who was sighing against his chest.

"'Kay", he muffled as an answer and against all of Roy's expectations leaned deeper in his chest. Roy smiled gently.

"You need to spend less time with Havoc."

"…But he's fun…"

"Because he probably let's you do whatever you want", Roy added. Ed snarled.

"Not really. He does put some lines for me. He just isn't so… stiff."

Roy got up and handed Ed a hand to help him up too. Ed looked at it hesitantly.

"_Stubborn, eh? Don't try to be so withdrawn all the time."_

…He grabbed it and let Roy help him up, afraid he'd let him fall but he didn't. He looked at him hesitantly. Roy smiled at him and started to guide him back to his office.

That trick gave Roy extra points when it came for Ed trusting in him.

* * *

Ed's peaceful breathing was like music to Roy's ears as he flipped through the papers, trying hard to focus on reading them without a good avail. He had better things to think about than the damned paperwork! Like… like… how he'd turn Ed against his father.

Yes. Roy had given up trying to talk the kid to realise that he was better. The way to win this fight was to crush Ed's father's points down and raise his own up. Yes, it was a cruel plan.

Alright, alright. First: crush Ed's respect, hope and love for his father. How the hell would he manage to do that?

He signed a paper without even paying attention to it as he thought of different ways.

If he'd show how gentle fathers were, Ed would probably see how terrible his own was. That meant that he wasn't allowed to do any mistakes anymore. Gentle. Caring. That was what he had to be. He'd be that. It couldn't be that hard.

…Maybe he could make Ed realise that the wounds his father had left in him were a mark of pure hatred. Ed's father couldn't possibly love Ed if he was able to do something that horrible for him.

He would also show Ed that his place was also a better way of keeping his brother safe. His brother wouldn't be in danger there. In their own home, Ed would always have to stay on guard, looking after Al. In here, he could rest. He didn't have to watch Al's every step. Actually, he'd have more people looking after Al and less dangers.

Oh, how malicious he felt. He wanted to crush Ed's father down as hard as he could. He had already put Hughes to look for the man's papers. He'd get them soon, hopefully.

He looked at Ed who was curled up like a cat, mouth hanging slightly open as he slept and felt his lips curl into a gentle smile. Ed triggered a weird side hidden in him.

* * *

Two words: Keep reviewing.


	13. Suspiciousness

As I promised, here's the new chapter! Thanks for being patient. My Dad dropped by from Spain so it was quite a big deal as I don't see him that often.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 13  
**__Suspiciousness_

_Oww_, Ed thought miserably as he breathed out silently but heavily. His right eye didn't feel so good. And his head felt annoying too. He stretched his shoulders back and yawned silently before opening slowly his eyes and sitting up on the couch, looking around to find Roy signing papers behind his desk, the others nowhere to be seen. Ed leaned over the back of the couch again. Roy looked up.

"Good to see you're awake. I would talk to you right now, but Riza's getting pissed because I'm behind my schedule with my paperwork. Pretty badly, actually. So if you don't mind, we'll talk at home, alright?" Roy suggested kindly, sending shivers through Ed's back. Roy was talking with _a little_ too nice tone compared to his usual one. Ed nodded and sat down again, kicking his boots off and moving his toes with his fingers. After a while Roy looked up, due to his undying curiosity. And, whether he faced it or not, his habits of ignoring work.

"What are you doing?" he asked concernedly. Ed just smiled.

"Checking out can if I still move all of them and if I can, how much and is there any way to be able to move them more. And how they move. Every toe moves a little differently…" Ed answered and took his sock from the left foot off, moving slightly his toes. Roy didn't smile.

"They don't move much because your father has hurt them too badly. Are you in pain?" he asked concernedly, but Ed's smile didn't fade.

"I'm just fine. They don't hurt at all anymore." He looked up seriously. "But you should do your work. Father always said that job is important because if you don't do it you'll get kicked out and then you don't get money and you can't buy food. And your apartment isn't that big so I'd say you don't get paid that well either, which means you really need the money they pay you."

Roy sighed and looked at him gently, making Ed look away. "Did you learn that the hard way?"

"No", Ed said stubbornly and got up, leaving the room. Roy looked as he was closing the door.

"Oh, Ed", he said before the door got closed and looked back. Roy smiled.

"Don't go anywhere. Stay on this hallway. I don't want you to get lost or in trouble. If you need something, just come here and ask, okay?"

Ed rolled his eyes. "Sure", he muttered as he closed the door with a slight slam. Roy shook his head. Inside, Ed was really rebellious. His punishments at home kept him from letting that side run freely. But maybe it was just good that way.

* * *

Ed scratched his cheek as he leaned to the wall, watching busy military officers pass him carrying large piles of paper or boxes or just walking without anything to carry. Nobody ran in the hallway so Ed automatically marked it to be against the rules in the building. He sighed deeply as he watched to the door he had slammed shut.

What was wrong with Roy? He definitely had something in his mind. Definitely. Ed wasn't stupid. When people got too nice all of sudden, they had a plan. Plan which contained him. He didn't like it one bit. He clenched his teeth as he crossed his hands.

Ooh, he wasn't stupid. Roy's plan was definitely focusing on him. Probably trying to win him to his side. How naïve could the man be, honestly? Did he really think that Ed would leave his earlier life behind just to spend his future with Riza and Roy? No way he was going to do that! He had Al! He had Father! He didn't give a damn about Roy or Riza! He had a home! And a family! A family that _missed_ him.

Ed smiled as he thought about it. His father had really missed him. Sometimes during the darkest times of his life he had… he had wondered if his father really cared about them anymore. He had wondered would he have felt at least a little bad if he had died. And apparently he had. Ed felt… loved. It was a really nice and warm feeling, making heat rise on his cheeks as he thought about it. His father would probably punish him for being away for so long when he got home, but after that he'd… be nicer. He'd show him that he missed him and loved him. Al would smile too. Al hadn't smiled in a while. Last time Ed remembered him smiling was… _ages_ ago, when he had remembered his birthday and given him an alchemized teddy.

Ed kept smiling at the memory playing in his mind as he stretched his shoulders and pulled his tangled hair back. He should thank Havoc for the shorts. He would've died out of embarrassment if he would've had to walk around in his boxers in this huge place full of people. He already felt odd for not wearing that blue uniform everyone else was wearing. For a while he wondered why but after watching another group of men and a few women passing him he looked down with a sad blush. Of course he wasn't getting clothes like those. They seemed to be made exactly for the person wearing them, having golden things attached to them and everything was just perfect in them. Why would he, a mere child who was worth nothing, be allowed to wear them?

He hated admitting it, but he was worth nothing. At times he got the responsibility to do something, he screwed it up. It annoyed him. He hadn't even been able to protect Al! He felt weak and worthless. There was absolutely nothing he could really do. Nothing major. Nothing other people wouldn't be able to do, way better than him. He just wished that he'd be able to at least take care of himself, but no!

He sulked for himself as he rubbed his fingers together just for the sake of doing something. Was there anything he was good at? Hmm. He was _pretty_ good at alchemy. But most of other alchemists were way better than him. Damn it. Anything else? …He didn't feel pain that easily. But what was that worth for? It was good only when he got beaten at home, protecting himself or Al. Actually, it could've been considered as a bad thing. If he didn't feel the pain, he couldn't be sure how dangerous his injuries were. If he managed to ignore great pain and later die because of something really bad which had caused the pain, it'd be bad. Grr.

He sighed. There had to be _something_… _Anything_. But no, he couldn't think of anything. What could he do? Shut up, he was good at that. Following orders… quite good. With some exceptions. Cooking? Not that good. But he was alright in it. But alright wasn't enough! He stretched his neck and closed his eyes. This wasn't going anywhere!

He sat down leaning in the wall, deep in his thoughts. Was he happier at home or here? What a hard question. At home he had Al. Here… he had adults that were warm and encouraging. It was so confusing. He wasn't sure whether he liked it or not.

At home days went by always pretty much the same way. He'd wake up from an uncomfortable chair or floor in pain, checking out how his bandages were. At night his father usually banned him from sleeping in his bed, saying that he'd just dirty it with the blood bleeding from his wounds and order him not to make a mess, or if he did, he had better clean it up so they'd never get in his eyes. At mornings when he'd hear the voices of his father walking towards their room, he'd warn Al if he'd already be awake and then quickly lay down on his bed, covering himself with his sheets and pretend being asleep, hoping he wouldn't dirty the bed. He'd act like his Father had waked him up and greet him, hiding the bandages and as many injuries as he could. If his Father saw the bandages, he started yelling. Hard. And he'd hit him. Maybe even kick. If he saw the wounds and ask something about them, Ed would have to convince him that he had fell on the stairs or done something else to damage himself and that they didn't hurt at all. And get ready for a few hits for not being careful enough. If he didn't do that, he'd get beaten really badly by his father. It was just the sad way things went.

After the waking up part they'd go downstairs and barely eat their breakfast, claming for being too busy to eat because they wanted to go and play. Like they were kids. Acting like they were before their Mum died was an unspoken rule and they had to try really hard not to fail in it. Lately their father had asked them why they were growing and said that he didn't want them to grow. Ed managed to get Al out of the way without injuries and survives with a few bruises himself for their Father's rage.

For the rest of the day he'd be reading books silently with Al or doing some other silent things. They weren't allowed to make noise, as they were supposed to be as they weren't there at all. After a few months, it had gotten easy. The problem was the lack of things to do: they had already read pretty much all the books in the house, except for those in their Father's study where they weren't allowed to go at all, no matter if they were allowed to read them or not. Sometimes they just lied on the floor or in their beds, Ed always on his bed if he wasn't having any bleeding wounds which didn't happen that usually, counting things, looking out of the window, dreaming about something or even sleeping. At first days had passed slowly… then they had started to speed up.

At night they'd go downstairs and eat something a little, their Father watching TV, saying he was watching programs kids like they weren't interested in or couldn't watch. Or he was drinking. If he was drinking and they went down, it brought troubles. So when they hesitantly came downstairs they tried to catch the scent of alcohol from the air, but as the house smelled like it anyway it was pretty hard. And if they_ didn't_ go there when he hadn't been drinking, they'd get into major troubles. And they wouldn't get food. And the food they got at morning wasn't much either, so they really needed the food if they could get it.

In here… it was so different. Every day was like a new adventure. Even every day at this building was different. If he wanted, he could sleep on the couch or sit in the hallway. He was able to talk to several people who were weirdly really nice for him and actually took care of him. Roy was trying to talk him into staying in Central with them and lure out where his Father and brother were so he could… punish his Father for his actions and get Al back to him. It was weird. It was like… Roy cared about him. And Riza too. Or maybe not. They wouldn't threaten his Father if they cared about him, right? It was just all so complicated.

This place didn't run with strict rules and habits, it ran with something different. Something… more. He couldn't explain it. It was like a different universe. When he thought quickly about it, there weren't many similarities. They were like two opposite things.

He couldn't decide which he liked more. In here it was nice to have people caring about him and it was great for just being himself, but at home he had his family and he didn't need to get scared of new and scary things. Home was safe and this place wasn't. But… this place was also safer than his home was. He couldn't decide which one was safer. Both were safer in their own ways.

"Hello, kid. You lost?" said a voice above him. Ed's eyes shot open and he quickly stood up and shook his head, looking slightly to the ground.

The man looked at him for a while. "Are you Edward?"

Ed's eyes widened out of shock. This man knew him!? Did he know his father?! Was he in trouble?! He opened his mouth but nothing came out of it as he stared at the olive eyes of the tall man holding a file filled with papers. The man read the answer from his face and smiled widely.

"Hello! I've wanted to meet you since Roy told me about you but he's said that you've been busy and he doesn't want you to meet too many people too san but honestly, who cares? I'm his best friend, I think I have the right to know you if you're staying with him! You're such a small and cute child!"

Ed flinched as he recovered from the shock of the man starting to babble to him and slamming his hand on his shoulder, making his knees drop quickly but he managed not to fall down.

"Hey, have you already seen a picture of Elysia?" the man asked with a huge smile. "She's so adorable!"

Ed was totally confused. He had no idea what to do or say. So he just stayed silent as he watched the man pull of a thick photo album and sweat dropped. What was going on?! Before he even realised the man was showing him pictures of a little girl posing in different positions doing different things. The man kept babbling.

"And here she's cooking with her gorgeous mother! See how her face is covered in flour? And this one, she's riding her wooden horse! We bought it recently, she's always been wanting to be a cowboy when she's older, she's so cute! And in this one she's trying on her mother's hat, it's so cute, it's way too big for her but it looks so good! We talked about it Gracia, my wife, and decided that once she grows up so it'll fit her better she's going to get it. And then-"

They both looked up as Roy opened the office's door, looking at them with a smile on his face.

"Maes, I wasn't expecting you here so quickly", he said as Ed slipped further away from them back to Roy's office. Roy almost laughed at his horrified face. What a first meeting for those two. He motioned for Maes to step in which he did quickly.

"I see you have the papers", Roy said as he took them in his hands with a slight smile, trying to make his friend realise without words that the content of them wasn't a thing they'd be talking about while Ed was present. Maes immediately got the message and smiled.

"But, but, I haven't seen you in a while! I see you've been busy, though", Maes said giving a brief glance at Ed who was leaning on the wall in one of the slightly shadowed corners, almost motionless so he would be as invisible as he could. Roy smiled.

"I guess you could say so. And I guess you already met Ed", he said and motioned Ed to come by which he did, looking slightly hesitant. Roy curled his hand around Ed's shoulders, Ed looking up quickly. "This is Ed. Ed, this is my best friend, Maes Hughes."

"Hello, Ed. Nice to meet you", Maes said as he offered his hand to Ed who shook it hesitantly.

"…Hi."

"You can just calm me Maes. Or Uncle Maes. Whichever you prefer", Maes said with an extremely wide smile, making Ed back away slightly. Roy hawked.

"Just call him Maes. Okay?"

Ed nodded and smiled hesitantly. Roy sensed that he was feeling really awkward.

"But anyway… Maes, you shouldn't start imposing pictures of Elysia to Ed. He barely knows you and… well, just don't do it", Roy said and rolled his eyes. Maes snorted.

"The fact that _you_ don't care about the pictures of my wonderful daughter doesn't mean that _he_ doesn't!" Maes said and turned to Ed with a huge smile. "You like to watch pictures of my daughter, don't you? She's like an angel isn't she? Do you want some pictures?"

Ed opened his mouth but didn't get any words out before Roy patted his shoulder and glanced at him strongly like saying 'if you aren't going to say it now, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life'.

"I-I… I'm not really into pictures", he said, getting more confident after the shaky start. "I'm sorry."

"Ooh, you don't like photos? Then you must be dying to meet her for real, right?! Hey Roy, it's been a while since you dropped by", Maes said and turned to his friend. Roy sighed.

"I guess so", he muttered. Maes leaned closer.

"Aaaaand?"

Roy sighed. "Alright, alright! I didn't want to rush it with Ed but alright, you got it! We're dropping by today after work. And you better behave. I don't want to give him a heart-attack."

Ed glanced at Roy angrily. "I don't get heart-attacks. I'm too young to get one now."

"People younger than you get heart-attacks, Ed."

"Then they're sick. I'm healthy!" Ed claimed strongly and made Maes whistle.

"He's talking! And he's talking a lot!"

Roy and Ed looked at each others, Ed with raised eyebrows. Roy turned back to Maes.

"Yes, he talks when he's in the mood. When he isn't, he's pretty… quiet."

Ed looked away, sulking. "It's not like anyone wants me to talk anyway."

Riza stepped in the room. "That is not right, Ed. We love to hear you talking. Afternoon, Maes", she said with a smile. Maes turned to him with a wide smile.

"Hello, Riza! Roy just promised to drop by with Ed today after work, do you mind to join us?" he asked. Riza nodded.

"I could do that. I haven't seen you and Gracia in a while."

"You haven't seen Elysia either! You must be missing her, right?"

Riza smiled as she laid a new pile of papers on Roy's desk. "I'd be glad to see her too, yes. But Roy, you really need to get back to work. I can look after Ed if he's too much of a distraction. Oh, and Maes, you got the papers?"

Maes's smile fell. "Yes. I got the papers. I think there's all you need to know for now. And I suggest you to keep your eyes open in Central for now."

Riza kept her smile up so he wouldn't make Ed suspecting anything, which he seemed to do already, no matter her smile. Well, they just had to make sure that he wouldn't find out anything. "Can we find the reason in the files?"

"Yes. Page three", Maes said. Roy had sat down and was taking a look at the files Hughes had brought. He let his eyes wander upon them. Ed was curious but didn't say anything. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to get into other people's businesses in this place and he didn't want to learn it the hard way.

"Alright. But as Riza said, I really need to get back to work. And yes, Riza, I'd appreciate it if you'd look after Ed for a while", he said in a more business-like tone, making the others salute to him, Ed looking at them confused if he should do it too but didn't get the chance before Maes turned him around.

"You must be so excited to see my little Elysia! You're just can't wait, can you?!" he started again, making Roy sigh as Riza rushed after them to make sure Ed was able to breathe in Maes's tight grip and never-ending rambles about his daughter.

As the door closed he looked at the files Maes had brought again. Alright. He had the address. He had the phone number. He had the family history and medical records and files of all kinds of things.

He flipped to page three and started eyeing for something that'd explain why Maes had told them to keep their eyes open in Central. After a while he found it.

Alright. Hohenheim Elric, Ed's father apparently, was on a business trip in Central, marketing his new book which seemed to be a modern beginners' guide to alchemy. That meant the house was empty. Or… it also could mean that there was one person in there.

Roy grabbed the phone and dialled the number written in the first page. He had to wait for a while before anyone answered.

"_Alphonse Elric on phone"_, said a young voice, sounding hopeful.

"Hello Alphonse. I've wanted to talk to you for a while now", he said gently. For a while it was quiet.

"_You apparently have mistaken me with my father. He isn't here right now, though. A business trip in Central. But if you'll tell me your name and number I'll tell him to call you when he gets back."_

Roy sighed. "I am not talking about your father right now, Alphonse. I'm talking about you. Are you alright in there?"

"…_Who are you?"_

Roy slammed his forehead. "Oh, sorry, that was so rude from me. I'm Roy Mustang. I'm looking after your brother right now."

"_You're one of the people he mentioned? Is he okay? Is he still there?"_

"…Yes, he's still here and he's alright. What do you mean he told about us? He hasn't been in contact with you as far as I know", Roy asked. Al went quiet. "…Al? Has he called you?"

"…_Please don't hurt him"_, Al's small voice pleaded. Roy sighed.

"I won't. But we're planning to get you out of there as soon as we can. Stay there, we'll keep contact."

"_Wait! What do you mean 'get me out'?"_

"It's okay, Al. We're going to save you", Roy assured. Al went silent again. "…Al?"

Al ended the call with a slam. Roy sighed.

"…Didn't go that well, I guess."

* * *

Please, review. And thanks for everyone who have done so already, I really appreciate it!!!


	14. Betrayal

Sorry for the delay... here it comes! Extra long!

**I don't own FMA.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 14  
**__Betrayal_

After some time Ed and Riza had managed to get away from Maes Hughes and his five albums which each contained 200 pictures of his daughter. Ed just kept wondering how someone could carry all that weight with them just for the sake of having pictures with. Well, some fathers just were that way, he thought with a sigh.

It had been a while since the last time he had seen photographs and the event had been slightly hard for him even though he tried to hide it. Every single picture reminded him of the pictures of his happy family before his Mum had died and his Father burned every single photo. Now that he had seen something to remind him about them, he could immediately remember a few of them almost clearly. One had had them all in them, his father holding him and his mother holding Al as they were little. One had him and Al fishing. They had caught a big fish and they were pretty proud of it. The memory brought a smile on his face.

"You can lay those in here", Riza said and Ed snapped back to the reality, laying a pile of papers he had been carrying on the table in front of him, feeling compassion towards the man who was walking towards them with a cup of coffee in his hands, sighing as he saw the pile. Riza started leading him to another room.

As Roy had told Riza to look after him so he could work and Riza was busy working too but didn't want to let anyone else look after him nor did she want to leave him anywhere so he had offered to help her with her work, which seemed to be delivering massive piles of paper to people who needed to take care of them. They stepped to another room, Riza laying a pile she had been carrying to one of the tables, greeting the man behind the desk and starting to head to another place in the building. Ed had no idea where in the building they were or where should they go to get back to Roy's office because every hallway and office seemed pretty much the same as all others and even people didn't stay put to some places as landmarks. Ed was sure not to lose the sight of Riza as she walked before him, turning back to see if he was still following.

"You alright, Ed?" she asked as Ed speeded up his steps to walk next to her. He shrugged.

"'M fine", he answered shortly as he watched the people walking next to him. Riza smiled and stopped, making him stop and turn to face her too.

"Do you want a rubber band? Your hair seems to get on your way a lot", she said as she handed him one. Ed took it in awe and smiled as he started braiding his hair. Soon they were walking again.

"You know, Havoc was right that day. Keeping your hair on braid is kind of girlish", she said after a while of silence. Ed shook his head.

"I don't care. It keeps my hair in order."

"I'm glad you don't care about it. You shouldn't let other people's thoughts affect you", Riza reminded him. He answered with a smile though he didn't mean it.

In some cases, other people's thoughts changed his own beliefs and decisions. He moved his golden bangs behind his ears, some falling immediately back to where they'd been.

He got flashbacks from the time he got the bangs. Even though he actually liked them now, he had been forced to take them.

_At one breakfast their father had shot a glare at his hair, his eyes narrowing as a hint to what was coming. Ed kicked Al's leg under the table as a mark to run if something happened. Al looked at their father too who took in a deep breath._

_  
"Ed, what's happened to your hair?" Hohenheim had asked. Ed smiled a childish smile._

"_What? Nothing's happened with my hair, Daddy", he answered. Hohenheim got up, making them even more alerted and grabbed Ed's long hair in his hand, yanking it back._

"_What's happened to your hair?" he repeated slowly, anger rising in his chest, Ed finally getting what he was hinting at._

"_It's grown, Daddy. It's long now", he said, his smile not leaving his face. "You don't like it long?"_

_His father started dragging him from his hair to the bathroom, making Ed's head first burn badly and then turn numb. Ed held back a yelp as his father grabbed scissors from the shelf over the sink and made him sit down, kneeling next. Ed almost fell as he grabbed hair to his other hand, only getting some from the top and cutting it quickly._

_The phone rang. Ed breathed heavily. Hohenheim cursed and got up, running to answer the phone, back to himself. Some of Ed's hair blocked his view before he moved them away, but the bangs were not long enough to stay behind his ears. He trembled as he quickly put the scissors back to their place and used his hands to get all the hair from the ground to the toilet and flushed it before sneaking back to their room where Al was waiting, his heart thumping fast._

The door before them opened and Ed managed to get snap out of his thoughts before he crashed into it. Roy looked at them seriously.

"Riza, we need to discuss about the new mission", he said seriously, holding the door open so she could slip in the room. Ed tried to follow but Roy laid his hands on his shoulders, making him look up to him as Riza disappeared to the room.

"Sorry, Ed, but this is military business. You can't listen. Can you stay here until we're done?" he said gently, making Ed want to roll his eyes which he forced himself not to do as he nodded and sat down to the floor. Roy smiled down at him.

"We'll tell you when we're ready so you won't have to sit alone in the hallway for too long. We'll try to be done as soon as we can."

Ed nodded again, leaning to the wall lazily, curling his arms around his knees which he drew close to him. As Roy closed the door Ed let out a sigh.

There was something in Roy that he didn't like. The look he had given to him was full of guilt. Ed could sense it.

* * *

Roy closed the door with the last glance at the boy. He got concerned as he sensed Ed's mood. He was… concerned, annoyed, _scared_ and angry. He was probably suspecting the mission Ed was about to give his crew, and honestly saying, with a good reason. Roy felt like he was playing with fire when he tried to help the unwilling boy. But it didn't matter; he played with fire pretty often. And he was good at it.

He turned to his crew and threw the file Hughes had given him earlier to the table.

"I'm pretty sure you already know what this mission is going to be about, but let's just follow the rules and I'll explain everything to you", he said as the others sat down around the table, everyone deadly serious. Roy didn't smile.

"About a week ago, Riza and I found a child, barely alive, lying unconsciously on the beach, several hour car drive from here to south. The child was in a bad shape, as the doctor several days after that announced. The damages in his body are written on page five if anyone's interested. The child's behaving tells about child abuse, which he has confirmed by himself, saying his father is responsible of abusing him and even trying to kill him by leaving him in the middle of the ocean all alone. This could be count as a murder, even though he didn't succeed in killing the child. Anyway, this father, called 'Hohenheim Elric', seems to have mental problems and is in need for immediate help for that. His mental state is too bad to take care of his two children, so they need to be taken away in order to give them a less painful life. You still with me?"

Everyone nodded.

"Our mission is to go in Resembool, where the family lives, wait for Mr. Elric to come home from his business trip, cover the children as we capture the man and get a ride for him to Central where people will take care of his judgement. I don't want anyone to get hurt, you understand me? We leave with the first train tomorrow. Four o'clock. And yes, Havoc, I do mean four o'clock in the morning. You better show up or you'll get punished."

Havoc rolled his eyes and muttered something with a low voice as he glared at Roy.

"And now, let me give you your orders. Fuery: the day Hohenheim is supposed to come back you wait in the train station with a walkie-talkie and inform us as he arrives to the station and starts heading home. You need to follow him, but make sure he doesn't pay any attention to you. Carry a gun, just in case, but avoid killing. We don't want any public scenes. Let's keep this private. And Falman will join you. Just in case."

Fuery and Falman nodded. Roy turned to Breda.

"Breda: the kids are forced to stay in a room which we can lock up. You are in charge of protecting them. You stay before the door with a gun. I repeat again: avoid killing. Just make sure the kids will be alright. And I suggest you to start practicing how to ignore voices of two children screaming because there's no doubt they'll do that."

Breda sulked. "Why do _I_ have to cover some screaming kids?"

"Because someone needs to do that. I won't take complains. Now you're making me consider putting Falman with _you_ just to remind you that you can't shoot them. We'll talk about this later. Havoc: you are to cover me and Hawkeye. We aren't suspecting him to have a weapon, but we can never be sure."

"Can I kill?" Havoc asked. Roy's eyes narrowed.

"_No_, you can't kill if you don't have to. And I'm strict about that. Hawkeye: you are to capture Mr. Elric with me."

Breda sulked. "Why can't I do that? She would be better watching after the children."

"I know, Breda. But you aren't as good shooter as she is and we're trying to end it as quickly as possible. And everyone: wear normal clothes. No uniforms. Let's not make people suspect anything. Any questions?"

"You talked about 'children'. Are we taking Edo with us?" Havoc asked. Roy turned to him, his eyes glimmering dangerously.

"He's our best card in this game. If things get dirty, Breda will bring Ed out and point a gun in his head. It wouldn't work that well with Alphonse. Hohenheim thinks he's killed Ed and is suffering from it: if we show him that Ed's still alive but we threaten to take his life, he'll break. Easy to catch."

The others looked at each others briefly. "Colonel… I'm not sure if that's a good idea", Falman said.

"What makes it a bad idea?" Roy snarled. Havoc shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that you're brining a child in the field", he said. Roy slammed his hand in the table.

"If you idiots honestly think that I'd risk it so far that Ed would get in actual danger, you're wrong. We're technically six against one. Six guns against… we don't even know if he has weapons! Ed isn't in any kind of danger, is he?" Roy spat, still not convincing the others.

"I don't know, Roy. Why can't we just leave Ed with Hughes?" Riza asked. "Please, Roy. It'd be a lot easier for me if I'd just know that he's safe."

"He's safe with us, Riza. And I bet Alphonse will obey better too if his brother's there", Roy tried to calm her down. Riza shook her head.

"I don't want Ed to come, Roy", she said. "There's always a huge risk. I don't want it to take him away."

Roy rolled his eyes. "You're all dismissed. I'll give you the tickets at the station. Now, back to your work. And polish your guns, you might need them."

"Roy! Are you ignoring me?" Riza yelled as she stood up. "You are _not_ taking Ed with us. I am _not_ allowing it!"

"Last time I checked _I_ was the Colonel, not you, Lieutenant Hawkeye", Roy snarled. Riza slapped him

"Last time I checked _I_ was the one who decided to take care of Edward. I'm in charge of him", she hissed. Roy's eyes narrowed.

"Actually, you put _me_ taking care of him. He's coming with us. And we better keep it quiet, I don't want him to hear. He can't hear what we're about to do."

"Roy, are you a heartless bastard? You are already planning to take his father away from him but you are also dragging him with to see and hear it? Maybe even _help_ you with it?" Riza growled. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Roy. I really don't."

Roy looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, Riza. But try to see that I'm also offering him something in return. If we don't take him with us, he'll probably never see his father again. Now he can see him. One last time."

Riza shook her head, though she looked a little less angry. "It's still cruel, Roy."

"I know, Riza. Don't think I don't. But I've already made my decision. He's coming with."

Riza shook her head but didn't try to convince him to change his mind anymore. She knew that when Roy had that look in his face, his opinion wasn't changing, no matter how wrong it was.

"Get ready to visit Hughes and Gracia. We'll just go home to change and then go. Work ends in a few hours. We'll see you there."

* * *

Edward and Roy were walking to the Hughes family in their casual clothes, Ed back to his black shirt, jacket, pants and red coat and Roy in a black shirt and black jeans. Ed tried to follow Roy's huge footsteps with his rapid and little ones. Roy smiled down to him.

"Nervous?" he asked. Ed shrugged.

"Just remember that they're good people. The whole family isn't as weird as Maes. Gracia's sane. Thank god, she's a good influence for Maes. Trust me, you don't want to know what he was like before she stepped in the picture. Though then there weren't that many pictures… Well, I guess nothing good comes without a prize."

"Equivalent exchange", Ed agreed. Roy patted his shoulders as he laughed.

"Those are hard words, are they?"

"I'm not a little kid with a small vocabulary!" Ed defended himself furiously as Roy continued to laugh.

"I know, I know. You're almost an adult. Just wait for six years."

"Five", Ed said. Roy smirked.

"You're still 12, Ed, no matter that you'll turn 13 soon."

"…It's my birthday", Ed muttered. Roy stopped.

"Today's your birthday?" he asked amazedly. Ed nodded, still serious. "Well… Happy birthday then!"

"…Thanks?" Ed said nervously. Roy pulled him closer as they continued to walk.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked. Ed shrugged.

"I didn't think you'd care", he answered.

"Why wouldn't I? You're thirteen now. You aren't a little child anymore."

Ed gritted his teeth as he felt a huge urge to punch Roy violently. "I haven't been a little kid in quite a while!" he growled. Roy laughed.

"Of course, of course. Oh, we're here", he said as he headed towards the door of a two storey house. Ed kept walking behind him. A kind woman opened the door. A little girl peeked a look behind her.

"Uncle Roy!" she yelled and jumped to hug him. Roy fluffed her hair.

"Hello, Elysia! How have you been?"

"Great! Daddy bought me a wooden horse! Do you want to see it?" she asked excitedly. Roy nodded.

"Maybe later. Afternoon, Gracia."

The woman smiled. "Afternoon, Roy. I assume this is Edward?" she asked as Roy motioned Ed to get in with them.

"Oh, yes. I hope you don't mind that I brought him with."

She laughed. "Not at all. Now Elysia will have some company too and we don't have to run after her that much. Afternoon, Edward", she said as she offered him a hand which he shook hesitantly. "I'm Gracia."

"Hi", he answered. Elysia hugged him, making his eyes widen in surprise.

"Uncle Roy, did you bring me a big brother?" she yelled excitedly, making Ed blush.

"No, Elysia. I brought you a friend", Roy corrected her. Elysia sighed.

"But I want a big brother!" she complained. "Fanny has one too and he's so cool! He played with us!"

"I'm sure Ed will play with you too. You just might have to teach him how to. He hasn't really played in a while."

Ed glanced at Roy, begging he wouldn't leave him alone with the little girl. Roy just winked. "Why don't you show him your wooden horse?"

Elysia smiled widely and grabbed Ed's hand. "Do you want to see it?!"

"I… uh…" Ed started but Elysia was already dragging him up the stairs. Roy shook his head.

"It's good for Ed to have younger company for a while. Lately he's just been around adults", he said to Gracia who was leading him to the kitchen when Maes walked down the stairs.

"Roy! I'm glad you made it. Hasn't Riza arrived yet?"

Roy shook his head. "No. But she promised to come, she should be here in a while. Actually we're a bit early with Ed."

"Ah! And where is the boy?" Maes asked as they sat down and Gracia handed them cups of coffee and laid a plate with cookies on the table.

"Watching your daughter's new wooden horse."

* * *

"Isn't it so cool?" Elysia asked him as she pointed at a wooden horse which seemed to be really good quality. Ed forced himself to smile.

"Yeah. Looks cool."

Elysia didn't let go of his hand. "Are you Uncle Roy's son? Daddy says he should watch out for what he's doing with women because he might end up having one without knowing."

"N-no… He isn't my father…" Ed muttered but Elysia didn't let the subject drop.

"Where are your mum and dad?" she asked. "Why aren't you with them?"

Ed kept his smile up. "Mum went to heaven when I was younger. And… I lost my Daddy."

Elysia's eyes filled with compassion. "Your Mummy went to heaven? And how did you lose your Daddy? Are you looking for him?"

"I went swimming and swam a little too far away from him. And I'm going back home when I just know how to. There's no need to be worried", he said and fluffed her hair. "I have a younger brother too. He's really nice. Maybe you should wish for a younger brother instead of an older one. Older ones can boss you around. But _you_ can make younger siblings do things for you."

Elysia's eyes widened. "Ooh! Really?"

"Really", Ed confirmed. "And they like to play too."

"…Now I want a younger brother too!" Elysia yelled. "And you can be my older brother, right?"

Ed blushed. "Me?"

"You're funny!" she laughed. "Where do you live?"

Ed smiled. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry. But I don't live here. Actually I live pretty far away from here."

"Oww…" she said. "Are you coming back to visit me?"

"I don't know. I don't think I can. My Daddy doesn't like it when I leave the house", Ed tried to explain, finding it quite hard to talk to a small child. Had he been like that too before his mother had died? "But if you tell me your phone number maybe I could call for you when my Daddy isn't home."

Elysia smiled. "You'd call me?!"

Ed nodded. "I'd call you."

Elysia hugged him tightly, making his eyes widen again. "That'd be cool, big brother! That'd be fun. I'll write our number in a paper you can take with you. Don't lose it!"

Ed smiled gently, feeling warm with the little child. "I won't."

* * *

Later that evening Ed was lying on his bed again, looking out of the window to the stars high above them. He wondered if Al was watching them too. He really missed Al. He hoped he'd get to see him soon again.

He'd give anything to see Al again. Every day without him was like living someone else's life and not being happy with it. Without Al he found himself around people who couldn't understand him at all. But Al could do that. Al was his brother.

Roy opened the door and sighed. "Still awake?"

Ed nodded, not turning to look at the man in the doorframe. Roy smiled. "We didn't talk about last night yet."

"…I'm sorry about it. I didn't mean to hurt you", Ed said silently. "I… I panicked."

"I shouldn't have grabbed your wrists or started yelling. We're both at fault", Roy said as he sat on the edge of Ed's bed and stroke his golden hair. "I just thought you'd want to have a caring family. I know I would've wanted that."

Ed looked down to his knees. "They're my family. I can't forgive anyone who hurts my family. It's just… they've always been there for me. I can't let go."

Roy sighed. "I understand, Ed."

Ed looked up hesitantly. "…You do?"

Roy laughed. "Okay, okay, I don't. I don't understand you. But we aren't the same, right? There's no way I'd ever really understand you. And there's no way that you'd ever understand me."

"…What happened to you?" Ed asked. Roy jumped slightly as he turned to see the hesitant child. Maybe Ed was sensitive for other people's emotions too. Maybe they had more in common than he'd ever known. He smiled gently.

"Nothing I can't handle. And everything's fine now anyway."

Ed looked down again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

Roy sighed. Now Ed thought that he had done the wrong thing again. The boy had never really asked him anything personal before this. And he had been messing with Ed's personal life a lot. Maybe it was time to pay for it.

"You know… I had a family too. Mum, Dad… four siblings. Or actually, I still have. I just… I haven't talked to them in a few years now", he started. Ed looked up, surprised that he was actually talking about it with him.

"My dad was a gardener in West. Every single day since I was four I had to help him with plants. Soon I got fed up with them, but after some time I learned not to complain. It just brought me more work to do. So, my dad wanted me to help him with plants hours per day. My mum, in another hand, wanted me to do house chores. Once I started school, I didn't even have time for doing homework. I tried to stay up late after midnight and do them, but I failed miserably. My grades sucked. Mum and Dad were mad. And when I started falling asleep during the chores at home, they got even madder. Not once did I hear a compliment, my life was filled with work and complains."

Ed drew his knees close to his body and curled his arms around them as he listened, sucking every word in. Roy swallowed before continuing.

"When I was sixteen I ran away from home. My grades were too bad to get in a good school. But I was good with my hands. And I was smart. I came to Central by train and lived on the streets, spending my days in the library reading. Soon I found alchemy and found out that I had a talent for it. I started fixing people's things with it and they paid me so I could get enough money to feed myself. Maes was actually one of my customers. He was studying hard at school and soon I noticed that he spent a lot of his time in the library as well. I got to know him. Soon he offered me to stay with him as I didn't have money to a motel. I can't thank him enough."

Ed smiled. "So that's how you got to know each others."

Roy laughed. "Yeah. It's been years and he's always been there to pull me out of my troubles. I even got to read his school books and learned fast. I spent all my days reading until I was brilliant in alchemy and really good in some other things. Then I entered the State Alchemist Qualification Test. I got in. Soon I decided I want to be the Fuhrer, I want to help people. I want to stop war. I want children to feel safe and loved. I don't want them to go through what I did."

Ed blushed violently. "…I'm sleepy."

Roy smiled. "Then you should sleep. If you want I can stay in here until you'll fall asleep."

Ed looked down again. "You don't have to. I'll be alright."

"Alright then", Roy said as he got up. "Oh, we need to get up early. I have a mission to accomplish. And you're coming with me. Train leaves at four a.m. I'll wake you up at two."

"But then I have only 5 hours to sleep!" Ed whined. Roy rolled his eyes.

"You can continue sleeping in the train. Good night", he said as he closed the door, hearing Ed's last growl.

This might've been the last night he was able to spend in peace with Ed.

* * *

Sometimes I have to wonder too what is going on in Roy's head...


	15. Fear

Here's the Saturday update. I hope you'll like it. I still don't know how to cut the ending so it might get messy. But just so you know... I'm planning to write 1-2 chapters more. If I can't work it out, maybe more. But you shouldn't count on it.

Thanks for the massive amount of brilliant reviews. You've cheered up my days. Writing this has been great, but also reading your reviews has made it more than that.

**Disclaimer: I still don't own FMA. If I would, I wouldn't be going crazy because the 11th manga didn't come to stores in time... AGAIN.

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter**__** 15  
**__Fear_

Someone was shaking Ed. Oww, he was tired, damn it! The room was still dark, as it usually was at this time for the time of the year, but _still_! It was just… too dark! And his mind was being slow too… he just wanted to go back to sleep. He muffled and buried his head in the pillow which was taken away soon.

"I told you we'd need to wake up early, Ed. If you don't get up now, you won't get breakfast. And they don't serve breakfast in the train", a sleepy voice said above him. Ed growled as he raised his head a little, trying to keep his eyes open as Roy scratched his head, waiting for him to get up.

As they walked to the kitchen Ed opened his mouth for the first time to say something that could be considered as speaking. "Why do we have to get on a train?"

"I have a mission and it's so far away that it's better to go by train", Roy said as he put butter and bread to the table, Ed taking one in his hand.

"What's the mission about?" he asked, waiting carefully for Roy's reaction. Roy flinched and smiled a little forcedly but otherwise there weren't any other things making him suspicious. Though those two were quite enough for him.

"Sorry Ed, I can't tell you. Military business", he said as he took a bite of his bread. Ed yawned.

"But I'm coming with you, right? Wouldn't it be better if I'd know what's going on?" he asked. "I know you don't want to tell me but it really would be better if I'd just know."

His persuading didn't work. He hadn't even expected it to but it was worth the try. Roy shook his head as he handed him another piece of bread.

"You'll find out eventually. But we really need to get in that train. I'll go and shower. Eat well", Roy said as he got up. Ed looked up again.

"Aren't you eating more?" he asked as Roy threw his unfinished bread to the garbage can. Roy shook his head with a frown.

"Stomach-ache", he mentioned briefly as he disappeared behind the corner. Ed looked down at his own bread, feeling nervous.

What if Roy had found out about everything, just like father always did? Where were they going? Why didn't Roy tell him anything? Why wasn't he eating? Why was he feeling so guilty and uneasy? Ed sighed as he threw his own slice of bread away.

He wasn't really in mood for eating either. He gagged miserably as he drank a glass of water and went to his room to get his clothes ready before sitting with them behind the shower door, looking at the slowly ticking clock.

Why did he have to live without knowing what was going on around him?

* * *

As they sat in the car, both to the front, Ed yawned again, eyeing Roy carefully as Roy's clenched teeth gave his otherwise calm appearance away. Ed's hair was still uncomfortably wet, braided as usual, dripping water to his back and making him hold back shivers of cold. He sneezed and watched as Roy started the car.

"You alright, Ed?" Roy asked as they started heading to the train station. Ed nodded. "You didn't sleep much last night."

Ed shut his eyes as he whined. "It's not my fault I have trouble sleeping."

"Still seeing nightmares?" Roy asked as he glanced briefly as the sulking boy.

"No", Ed said stubbornly and opened his eyes to watch out of the window to the dark scenery. Roy almost believed him but knew better.

"Do you want to sleep more in the train? You can do that, you know. We have a few days lasting trip", Roy informed him as Ed turned to face him.

"That long? Where are we going anyway?"

Roy forced a smile again as he started driving slightly faster. "Military business. I can't tell you yet."

Ed looked down at his boots and scratched his head behind his right ear. He wasn't stupid, for God's sake! He wasn't a mere idiotic little child! He tried to calm himself down taking deep breaths as unnoticeably as possible. Roy didn't notice anything. He closed his eyes again.

He shouldn't panic. It wasn't probably what he was scared of. Roy wouldn't do that to him without discussing more about it with him, and if he would, he _certainly_ wouldn't drag him with. Roy was nice. And he wasn't telling him anything because the information he would get would probably put him in danger. Yeah, that was it. He felt a lot better as he the car was pulled over and he opened his eyes to see that they were still on the streets. Roy opened the window.

"Havoc!" he yelled and the man turned to see them and walked to them, carrying a few backs.

"Hey, I want to get to the front! I'm an adult!" Havoc said as he looked in. Ed blushed furiously as he opened the door to go to the back but Roy grabbed his sleeve.

"But Ed lives with me and he sat there first. Take a seat from the back, Havoc, and stop whining."

He smirked to Ed as Ed closed the door with a slight slam and fastened the seatbelt again, closing his eyes.

"You alright, Ed?" Roy asked again. Ed nodded as Havoc stepped in the car, sulking at Roy.

"Just tired… and a little nauseous…"

Roy sweat dropped. He had totally forgotten about Ed's motion sickness! Travelling in the train would probably mean no good. He should make sure that there was a bathroom near them. Ed seemed already slightly pale as he wiped his forehead with a slightly shaking hand. He was pretty good at hiding it but still… shakiness wasn't an easy thing to hide. Havoc leaned forward.

"You starting the car or not?" he asked and Roy turned the key starting heading to the train station again. Havoc turned to Ed.

"Hey kiddo, how's your morning been?" he asked and Ed turned to him with a tired look on his face.

"…Boring", he answered shortly. "Yours?"

Havoc shrugged. "Pretty much the same. And I slept for too long so I got really busy too. And I was already downstairs when I realised that I forgot my cigarettes. Had to run to get them before you guys came."

Ed sighed and shook his head. "Havoc-san, you shouldn't smoke so much. It destroys your lungs."

Havoc and Roy started laughing and the car started swinging slightly dangerously. Ed turned green and grabbed Roy's sleeve. "Drive straighter!" he gagged and Roy immediately tried to calm down. Havoc still laughed with watering eyes on the backseat.

"What are you, my doctor?" he asked. Roy shook his head, smiling.

"You should listen to children, Havoc. They always tell you the truth", he said, making Havoc roll his eyes and mutter something as Ed turned to see him.

"I'm not a child!" he said angrily and Roy shook his head.

"Ed, I'm sorry to break it to you, but you are considered as a child until you turn 18", Roy said, making Ed sulk too. He sighed as Ed and Havoc looked out of their windows.

"What a joyful ride…" he muttered as he looked at the clock.

* * *

In the train Roy had first talked privately with his crew, still convincing them not to say anything about the mission to Ed and to stay alert in case Hohenheim was in the same train but Fuery had checked it and found out that Hohenheim had a ticket to the train leaving the next train. Roy had sighed out of relief.

"Well that's good news… But it also means that we have only one day to get ready. This is going to be a hard mission. Don't underestimate it", he said and turned to look back where Ed was lying on the seat, burying his head in his own chest, squeezing his coat with his hands. He seemed to be sweating slightly. Roy almost smiled but the fact that he was betraying the child held it back. He turned to face the officers again.

"Breda, any strategy ideas?" he asked. Breda growled.

"Hard to say before we see what kind of place it is. But just for safety, I'd suggest to lock the kids somewhere and _not_ use Ed as a bait. The risk is too big. And I'd suggest dragging them as far from the front door as possible and you should stay nearer to it with Hawkeye and Havoc to stop the whole thing before it really even starts. Quick and clean. Hopefully."

"We'll talk more about that in there. You all have everything you need?"

They all nodded, making Roy smile. "If you remember that you've forgotten something that would be important for the mission, inform me_ immediately_. Understood? You're dismissed."

They walked back to their seats, Roy smiling as he hawked to get the half-asleep boy's attention. Ed looked up, eyes half open and sat up as Roy motioned him to, closing his eyes again. Riza looked at him.

"Roy, how much did he sleep last night?" she asked worriedly. Roy shrugged.

"I don't know… not more than 4 hours anyway…" he said, making Riza look at him angrily. Roy rolled his eyes and petted the kid's hair, making him look up angrily.

"Don't piss me off right now… I'm grumpy enough…" he muttered as Roy guided him down again. Ed looked up, surprise shining from his eyes. Roy smiled.

"Just sleep. We don't really have pillows with us so it might get uncomfortable", he said as Ed buried his head in Roy's stomach, head on his lap. The seat was too small to curl up comfortably so he gave up with it as he closed his eyes again. Roy threw his black jacket on the small boy who yawned silently. Riza smiled gently.

"Sleep well", Roy said as he started stroking the boy's hair, noticing that it seemed to relax the pale boy a lot. And he got something to do with his hands.

It didn't last long until Ed had fallen asleep.

* * *

When Ed woke up it was already pitch-black outside. He raised his head from its soft support and sat up, looking at the others. Everyone was sleeping. He looked out of the window but quickly turned his gaze away as he felt nausea hit him again. The train moved a lot more violently than a car. He closed his eyes as he massaged his neck slightly.

"You awake?" a voice asked. Ed almost jumped slightly as he looked at Roy who had opened his eyes. Ed looked at him curiously.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" he asked silently, trying not to wake the others. Roy shook his head as he yawned.

"Couldn't sleep. And I thought that you'd want to have something to eat when you wake up", he said as he offered him a sandwich. Ed covered his mouth and turned away.

"I really don't feel like eating right now", he gagged as Roy took the hint and put it away, curling his hand around Ed's shoulders. The boy didn't look at him as he stared at Riza's sleeping appearance.

"You nauseous?" Roy asked him. Ed nodded after a while.

"I'm really not feeling well…" he answered as he closed his eyes again. Roy used his hand to make Ed lean to him more, the boy snarling as a blush appeared on his face.

"Can you stop that?" he hissed as he opened his eyes again. "It's really nerve-racking to have someone doing that all the time… do you have any personal space?"

"I do", Roy said as he nodded with a gentle smile on his face. "But you've gotten so close to me that I don't really mind you leaning on me. Actually it feels nice."

Ed didn't answer. He didn't pull away but neither did he lean even closer. He just kept looking at his feet.

"Where are we heading?" he asked after a while, looking at Roy again. Roy sighed.

"I've already told you that I can't tell it", he said calmly as he rubbed Ed's arm. Ed shook his head.

"I'm not asking for the exact location… just for the point of the compass", Ed said, still looking straight at Roy's eyes. "You can tell me that, right?"

Roy shook his head. "Sorry Ed. I can't."

Ed pulled away and crossed his arms as he leaned back.

"Ed…" Roy started but Ed stopped him.

"Just sleep", he said. "I'm tired too. The train makes me tired. And it's better for me to sleep anyway without having to feel like puking all the time."

Roy sighed. "If you say so."

He couldn't help noticing that Ed wasn't lying down. But what was the point in that if he wanted to keep his distance from him and was able to sleep in a chair?

* * *

Next day Ed woke up and staggered to the bathroom to finally give up holding the food in. He was shaking as he came back, the others looking at him worriedly.

"You alright, Edward?" Riza asked as she motioned him to sit next to her. Havoc and Breda were already packing their playing cards to the suitcases as Ed looked around. Falman seemed to be ready already. He raised his eyebrows at Riza.

"Are we there soon?" he asked as he sat down. Riza started to braid again his messy hair.

"Yeah, really soon. We should be there in five minutes", she said, glancing dangerously at Roy who ignored her.

"Are you going to shoot someone?" Ed asked slightly fearfully as he noticed the gun on her waist. She smiled gently as she finished the braid.

"No. Not if I don't have to. And even if I have to shoot someone, I'll try not to kill the person", she said calmly as she handed him an apple. "Do you want to eat it or are you still feeling ill?"

"I don't feel like eating…" Ed muttered as he turned away again, avoiding looking out of the window. She put the apple away.

"When you feel better, just say it. We're getting worried that you're not eating. At least some water?" she said as she handed him a bottle which he took hesitantly, taking a few sips and getting rid of the awful taste of vomit in his mouth. He handed the bottle back as the train started to slow down.

"NEXT STOP: RESEMBOOL!" the conductor stated with a loud voice, making Ed pale. He started shaking as he pulled away from them and looked at them with wide eyes.

"Y-you… What… What is your mission?" he asked with a trembling voice as Roy tried to get closer to him.

"Ed, don't make me force you. Just come with us. It'll be easier that way", he said and Riza growled as he had used just the wrong words.

"Move away, Roy", she said as she glanced at him before looking gently at Ed. "It's alright, Ed. We're going to meet Alphonse. And then we're going to have a talk with your father."

Ed shook his head and gritted his teeth. "You… you have guns with you. You have guns. Are you going to kill my father!? Are you going to shoot my Dad?" he asked fearfully as he backed away, hitting his back to the wall. Riza took a step forward and Ed covered his head.

"S-s-stay away", he said as he sat to the wall, drawing his knees close to him. "Don't hurt me too!"

Riza sighed as she walked closer and took Ed's hand gently but the boy started trembling and refused to drop his defences. After a while the train stopped and Roy growled.

"Out of the way, Riza. We've got to go. Take the bags", he said and motioned the others to leave the train too. Thank god there wasn't anyone else except for them in this compartment. He slipped his hands under Ed's arms and pulled the boy in the air, making him shriek out of fear and disgust. Roy covered his mouth.

"Don't be so loud, Ed. Please. Don't make me put a gag on you", he said as he removed the hand. Ed froze.

They jumped out of the train and started heading forwards the little road, Roy still carrying Ed. After a while the boy snapped and started kicking and punching as he wriggled to get free. Roy dropped him accidentally and the boy started running away but Havoc grabbed his hand before he got far. He noticed that Ed started to turn his hand fearfully with a concentrated look on his face so he let go and instead of grabbing his hand he knocked the boy down and used his body to block every way for escaping. Ed tried to push him away, adrenaline running through his veins.

Roy motioned for Havoc to get up and pulled Ed up, moving the boy's hands behind his back. Breda handcuffed them as Roy embraced Ed.

"I asked that you wouldn't force me to force you with us. Why can't you just come willingly?" he asked as he took the boy from the fabric on his neck and started dragging him forward but as the kid still fought they decided to also bind his feet together and Roy kept carrying him on his shoulder. After a while Ed had given up, nobody really seeing his face as his golden hair blocked it. Riza stared at Roy furiously, making it clear to him that she didn't like this at all. Roy sighed as he ignored her again and they still headed to the Elric's residence.

A yellow house on a hill hit their eyes. It was almost exactly like in the picture they had gotten.

* * *

I know,_ I know_. I make Roy idiotic at times. I just like it that way. Way more drama.


	16. Piercing pain

Alright people: I am SO SORRY about the late update! If you've checked my profile you already know that my sister's kept me busy for about 6 days and then all this rush because of Christmas and just... just everything! I've been loyally working on this chapter, it's just taken a lot longer than I thought it would take. But thanks for waiting patiently, I know you're probably really frustrated by now, but I'm really, really trying. I think I just have to try harder.

And yeah, remember when I said that there was only 2 chapters left? Well, I'm not so sure about that anymore. After this chapter, there'll be 1-2 chapters. Probably. But that information might change too. I wanted this chapter to have a lot of other stuff in it too but I already managed to reach the normal lenght and I was so late so... I decided that I'll leave it for the next chapter.

**Disclaimer: I still don't own FMA, if you haven't realised it yet. And you can be happy about that because everything seems to be always late with my fics.

* * *

PROTECT **

_**Chapter 16  
**__Piercing pain_

Edward raised his head, trying to turn so he could see the door as Roy knocked the door. He was starting to panic again. _Please, Al, don't open it. Don't open it_, he prayed miserably, still not seeing the door. As he tried to turn again Roy growled and put him back to the original position, not letting him see anything.

He heard hesitant footsteps and he trembled as panic started taking over him again.

"DON'T OPEN IT, ALPHONSE!" he screeched before Breda slammed a hand on his mouth silencing him. He wriggled violently so Fuery and Falman had to come to help Roy and Breda keep him quiet and in control. He tried to free his hands or at least get them before him. His eyes watered from pain as he tried to force them over his head, failing miserably. Roy knocked the door again.

"Open the door", he said loudly, well aware that the kid was just behind the door, wondering what was going on. He probably wasn't allowed to open doors and Ed's scream hadn't helped one bit. If Alphonse even recognized his brother's voice anymore. Well if Ed had called him he probably did. Another thing the kid had failed to inform him about, he thought angrily as he squeezed the wriggling boy's legs trying to keep him still.

"Open the door now, Alphonse, or I have to blow it up. I can do that. If you don't open it in five seconds I suggest you to back away and quick. But blowing up will make both of our lives miserable, doesn't it? Just open the damn door", Roy said as he raised one of his gloved hands. Ed tried to scream again but Breda didn't remove his hand so it came out as a weird muffle.

The door didn't open. Roy sighed.

"Alright, back away", he said as they all backed away from the door before he snapped his fingers, setting the door on fire. He watched as it burnt down, trying to keep the flames under control.

"Could you get water and throw it in the flames Alphonse?" he yelled as Ed started trying to kick again violently but didn't get enough power in his kicks because of the fact that they were bound together. After a while the flames had died down and Roy kicked the door, making it crush in pieces. A fearful boy backed away with wide eyes. He saw Ed.

"…Brother!" he said with a hoarse voice. "What have you done to him?"

Roy was just starting to calm him down as Ed decided that he wanted down _right now_ and yanked to his side violently, Roy's and the other's grasps failing as he crashed to the floor, back down and pained screech leaving his dry mouth. Ed closed his eyes and breathed in deep but fragmentary breathes.

Alphonse panicked. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!" he screamed, making Roy and his crew back away from Ed who had clenched his teeth. Blood was starting to form under him. Roy remembered the handcuffs.

"Alphonse, turn him on his stomach", he said quickly. "We have to make sure the cuffs didn't slit his wrists. He can die for the loss of blood if it did and we don't know it."

Alphonse glanced at him fearfully before turning back to his brother. He slid his hands under Ed who yanked his head back as he let out a growl. Al helped him to turn around, Ed's breaths and whines burning in their memories. Al gasped as he noticed what had happened.

Ed's wrists had avoided getting too deep cuts but the cuffs had sunk slightly deeply in his back. Al took his brother's hands in his owns.

"I'm going to pull them out, okay? 1… 2… 3!" he said as he yanked them up, Ed's eyes opening violently as he fought back a cry of pain. Al removed his coat and jacket and pulled the shirt from the bleeding wound. He started ripping his own shirt as Roy tried to stop him.

"We have a emergency pack in here, you don't have to do that!" he said but Al ignored him as he tied up his brother's wound and helped him to sit up before hugging him tightly, burying his head in his older brother's neck. Ed returned the hug back and stroke Al's hair.

"It's okay, Al… It's okay, I'm here… Please don't cry", Ed whispered as he hugged Al even tighter, fighting back his own tears.

"Are you in pain?" Al asked as he swallowed back his tears and separated from his brother. Ed nodded and hugged Al again. Roy and his crew were looking at each others nervously but Riza focused on the scene before her eyes.

Al sniffed and glanced at the others again, squeezing Ed's hands tighter. "Who are they? What are they doing in here?" he asked. Ed looked down.

"Al…" he started but noticed that he couldn't continue. He swallowed and opened his mouth again but couldn't find the words. He moved so he was in front of Al, covering him. Al hissed.

"You're hurt. You almost died because of me. For once, can you let me protect you?" he hissed as he stood up, Ed doing so too and pushing him against the wall gently. Al tried to push him away but didn't manage. Ed stared challengingly at Roy's eyes. Roy sighed.

"Ed, please. Don't fight. Let's talk about this. We have time. Why don't we all just… have a glass of water and talk about this", Roy said gently but Ed shook his head.

"Manipulative bastard. Forget it", he hissed as Al tried to stretch his neck so he could see over his brother's shoulder.

"What do you want?" Al asked. Ed glanced at him angrily but Al didn't stop staring at Roy. "Why are you here?"

"I told you that on the phone, I think", Roy answered, making Al's eyes wide and Ed's face even darker than before.

"You called Al!? You've talked to him and you never mentioned me about it?!" he bellowed furiously. Riza sighed.

"Edward, calm down. This doesn't have to go the hard way. We don't have to fight against each others. Let's talk", she said nicely, making Al stare at her wondering if her kindness only reached her voice or if it was deeper. Ed shook his head.

"You aren't hurting us. None of us. You aren't hurting my family before you've gotten rid of me first!" Ed bellowed again and grabbed a lamp from the table, making Havoc draw out his weapon with a hesitant look at Roy who gave him a commanding stare to put the gun away. He took a few steps forward and Ed drew the lamp back so he could swing it with more force.

"Why are you fighting, Ed? I think we both know that you aren't really a fighter. You just take the blows and do as you're told to. You don't have the guts to really hit me with that lamp", Roy said gently as he was only a few metres away and Ed was trembling and fixing his grab of the lamp. Ed's face was red of fury.

"Don't tell me what I can't do! I_ will_ hit you!" he screamed. Roy took quickly a few steps forward and Ed tried to hit his head with the lamp but missed his target as Roy ducked down. Before Ed could react more Roy already grabbed his hands. Ed kicked his stomach, but Roy didn't let go as he whimpered of pain and threw Ed to the ground and moved above him, planning to pin him down. He didn't get the time to do that before someone knocked him down from behind and Ed was yanked up to his feet. Roy's crew attacked the kids.

Al was hesitant while fighting. They were adults. They were big, they could really hurt them. They weren't allowed to attack them. His mind was screaming, making some of his moves too stiff. It didn't take long until he was raised up from his collar, someone starting to drag him away. He wriggled and tried to get away but failed miserably.

"AL!" Ed screamed as he noticed that his brother had disappeared and started to panic. Where was Al? Where did they take him? Did they hurt him? He felt rage boiling in his body as he crashed his fist to Breda's eye, making him bellow as he covered his eyes and took distance from him. He tried to look around for Al but Havoc took his hand, twisting it uncomfortably. Ed yanked his body, making Havoc follow his hand to his front and crashed the man down after grabbing his gun. He loaded it.

"EVERYONE STOP!" he screamed as he pointed the gun at Havoc who was lying on the ground, looking shocked. No one moved. Ed looked around quickly.

"Where did you take Al?" he asked them. Roy was missing. "WHERE DID THAT BASTARD TAKE AL!?" he bellowed. "YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW OR YOU CAN HAVE THE PLEASURE OF WATCHING HIM DIE!" he screamed. Riza raised her hands.

"Edward, calm down. We don't know where he took your brother. But I don't think anyone left the house. And don't shoot him. You aren't a killer, Ed. You don't have the eyes of a killer", she tried to calm him down, failing miserably.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!" Ed screamed, eyes wide and expression lost. She quickly recognized the shock Ed was going through. He wasn't really himself. He didn't see his lines, he couldn't control himself.

"Why don't you tie them all up and we'll go looking for your brother, alright?" she asked nicely. "No one has to get hurt."

Ed shook his head as he pressed his lips tighter shut. "He can come here. He'll come here right now, or I _am _going to shoot him. Try me. Call out for him", he said. Riza took in a deep breath, Breda, Fuery and Falman eyeing her hesitantly, afraid to say anything to get the situation worse.

"Roy, he's got a hostage. Come here with Alphonse and let's talk this over", she said loudly as she listened to Ed's furious growl.

Roy came with a gun pressed on Al's temple, the kid walking before him. He sighed. "You five can't handle one child on your own?"

Ed's hand started trembling as he saw the gun on Al's temple. He hadn't really seen what guns could do yet, but he had been told they were to kill. Roy was threatening Al's life. After all the years of protection Al was in fatal danger. He felt weak as he pointed the gun at Havoc. He didn't really want to kill the man. He didn't want to kill anyone. He didn't want anyone to just die. Disappear. He felt weak. He wanted to die right there.

"No one has to get hurt, Ed. Give the gun back to Havoc and I'll put my gun away too. Don't do anything stupid", Roy said gently. Everyone was looking at him. He was shaking. If he'd give the gun away Roy could just shoot his brother. He was a madman. He could do that.

He wished he'd know what to do. He didn't have much power in his hands.

"…No", he said, shaking his head. "No, no, no. Let Al go and let us go. LET US GO!" he screamed and almost accidentally pulled the trigger. Everyone jumped slightly. Roy's eyes widened in alert.

"Edward, put the gun down. You aren't a killer and that's a good thing. Give it away until you change that fact", he tried to convince the fearful boy. Ed had found a new side of himself and was afraid of it.

He slowly moved the gun away from Havoc. The other's smiled supportively. Ed turned to see Riza who had reached her hand so he could put the gun in it. He started shaking again.

He hated this. If life really was what it had been like for him, he couldn't stand it. It would be better if he'd just be dead like he was supposed to be. He looked at the gun in his hand. It would be better for everyone… right? His father wouldn't have to beat him anymore. Al wouldn't have to watch him getting hurt anymore. He wouldn't have to stand this pain anymore.

He pointed the gun at his chest.

"ED, DON'T DO IT! Put the gun down! What are you accomplishing by shooting yourself? Put it away. Please, put it away", Roy pleaded as he watched in Ed's fearful eyes. He saw a small tear which was being pushed away in them.

Ed wouldn't do it, right? He wouldn't kill himself. Ed wasn't like that. He was someone who protected. Not someone who killed. Ed wiped his dry mouth weakly before letting his head drop and he handed the gun to Riza, accepting his defeat. He just wanted to be locked in a dark room for the rest of his life right now. Al had seen the whole thing. Al would be disappointed in him. He'd be angry.

As Roy moved the gun away from Al's temple the boy started screaming. "BROTHER, YOU IDIOT!" he bellowed furiously, trying to get to his brother. Roy didn't let go. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT COULD'VE DONE, BUT SOMETHING TOLD ME THAT IT WOULD'VE BEEN FATAL! YOU COULD'VE ENDED UP AS A MURDERER! YOU COULD'VE KILLED YOURSELF, LEAVING ME ALONE AGAIN! What is wrong with you?! Why are you so strange?! You… You aren't what you used to be anymore", he ended with a trembling voice. "I don't know you anymore."

Riza had curled her hands around Ed whose head was still hanging, bangs hiding his face. He didn't even flinch. She glanced at him worriedly. It was Roy who broke the awkward silence

"Alright, let's take them upstairs. Is there a room we can lock, Alphonse?" he asked. Al hesitated for a brief second, thinking was he allowed to tell the man or not or should he tell it or he'd get punished. Well, he was told to respect adults…

"Mister… umm…" he started quietly and Roy nodded.

"Roy Mustang. Call me Roy."

Al nodded. "Mister Roy, the only room that can be locked from the outside is my father's study but we aren't allowed to enter it so I'm afraid there's no room that would serve your needs."

The officers blinked at the formal and polite tone Al used as he talked to Roy, not aware of how weird he had sounded. Roy nodded.

"If there's no other room, we'll use the study. We can take your blankets and pillows there so you can rest at night because it's a little risky letting you go to your own room. Show the way", he said and patted Al's shoulder. The boy had paled.

"No, we really, _really_ can't enter it, I'm afraid. Our room will have to do if you don't have any other place where you'd rather put us in", he said as he bowed. Roy held back the urge to growl.

"Al, I see you haven't noticed it but your father's orders aren't worth anything right now. From now on it'll be a lot easier. Trust me. The study will do, whether you lead us there or we find it by ourselves", he stated and smiled encouragingly to the boy. Al seemed wordless.

"…But…"

"No buts. Let's go. Riza, you first", Roy said as he winked for Riza to go ahead. She saluted and led Ed, who still remained silent with his head lowered, to the stairs and up them gently. Roy felt bad for a while. He had really let the boy down. He had really done a nasty trick for the boy. He was probably frightened and furious. Furious for himself and Roy. The mission wasn't supposed to go this way. It wasn't supposed to crush their relationship down to their feet. He unconsciously squeezed Al's shoulder tighter.

As they were upstairs, Roy looked at the several doors in the hallway. One of them seemed to have a lock in it so he moved forward and motioned for Riza to open the door, which she did after nodding quietly and guided Ed in. As Riza let go of Ed's shoulder, the boy sat down against the wall and drew his knees close to him, his bangs still covering his face. She glanced at Roy like asking if they were doing the right thing as Roy let go of Al's shoulder. Roy nodded and glanced at the room as Al backed away as unnoticeably as possible, next to Ed like seeking for protection. Roy's eyes narrowed as he saw the book collection.

"Lieutenant… I think we might have a bigger issue here", he said seriously as Riza walked to the shelf and pulled one of the books from the shelf, caressing its black covers.

"Umm… I… I don't think you should be touching the books", Al said silently. "Father's pretty strict about everything in here."

Roy snorted. "Yeah, seems so. It just_ happens_ to have all these bottles lying on the floor. But that's completely normal, is it?"

Al quickly lowered his head so he was looking at his own feet instead of Roy's. Riza narrowed her eyes and Roy sighed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. And you don't have to be so humble. You can look me in the eyes and talk freely."

"I'm afraid I can't", Al answered silently. Roy decided that maybe it'd be just better to leave the kid alone without messing up with his mind more than he had already.

"Havoc, Fuery, Falman… Riza", he said as he took some books from the shelf. "Let's move these books and those bottles to the hall downstairs. Quick. We get to start planning how to put the plan in action", he ordered. When he walked past Ed the boy got a grab from hem of his pants without even raising his gaze.

"Don't do it", he said loudly. Roy's crew turned to watch as Roy laid the books down and forced Ed to let go gently. The boy didn't move by himself.

"I know you don't feel like it… but I'm doing this for you", he assured the misbelieving boy and sighed. "Fine… One day you might see it."

The officer walked by behind him, carrying books and bottles and Roy remembered what he had been doing. He quickly grabbed the books again and continued his way to the hall. Havoc kept an eye on Ed and Al and just gave the others stuff to carry when they got upstairs again.

After they were finished Roy noticed a key on the table and used it to close the kids inside as the adults headed downstairs to talk about the plan before searching the house through for other books like the ones they'd found.

* * *

Al laid his hand on Ed's shoulder and motioned for him to move his bangs away. Ed shook his head slightly but Al tightened his grip so he just sighed silently as he used his right hand to move them so they wouldn't cover his eyes and forced himself to smile as he tapped Al's own shoulder. Al sighed as he moved Ed's hand away.

"Who are they?" Al whispered so Ed barely heard him and swallowed hard. Yeah, it was time. It was time he explained it all. Explained how this was all his fault. Al was going to be mad.

He hawked quietly as he turned his gaze to his feet. "They're… kind of like police officers. Kind of but not quite, I think", he said quietly, not wanting to freak Al out by acting badly. Al raised his eyebrows slightly, encouraging him to go on. "The woman's Riza. She is… was… pretty nice I guess. The tall black-haired man is Roy, he's a total bastard, probably invented all of this. He's the leader, I think. The short one's Fuery. Red is Breda. Grey's Falman. And the blonde with the cigarette is Havoc."

"Have they hurt you?" Al asked quietly as he took Ed's arm and started examining it in the dim light the lamp gave to the dusty room. Ed shook his head. Al looked at him weirdly.

"Don't lie to me", he whispered angrily and opened Ed's jacket to see his neck but Ed shook his head and pushed Al away.

"I'm fine Al. It's… it's not me you should be worrying about."

"Ed, the man said he'll get me out of here. I don't get it. He came here and we aren't going anywhere. He also brought you back here. Why?" Al asked. Ed nodded with a swallow.

"They're going to arrest Dad. They might hurt him", he said. "They have those… guns. You can kill people with them. That's what they told me."

Al's eyes narrowed. "You said 'Dad'?"

Ed nodded and turned his head to another direction, stretching his arms. Al didn't question more.

"How did they find out? How did they find out about everything?" he wondered. Ed jumped slightly. He had hoped that the conversation wouldn't go this far. But when it came to him, of course it had to.

"It's my entire fault, Al", he muttered as he watched down. Al's eyes widened. He shook his head but Ed continued. "I told them. I told them too much. I told them my name, they found out about the injuries and I told them about Dad. I… I told them everything, Al."

"You didn't. Don't say it brother, you would never do that. You know we can't trust anyone. You know how bad things can get with strangers", Al said, trying to make him tell he was just joking. He shook his head.

"I'm sorry Al. I don't know what got into me. They were just so nice to me. Now I see it was all just a big act but… for a while… I'm sorry", he said miserably and tried to embrace Al who pushed him away.

"You… you aren't my brother", he whispered. Ed froze.

"W-what do you mean?" he asked. "Al…"

"My brother would never do that. You're one of them too. You… you all just played with me. My brother's dead. Dead and never coming back", Al stated with shaking fists before standing up and walking to the other side of the room, hiding behind one of the bookshelves.

…_He's right. I'm not the person I was before. I'm not his brother anymore_, Ed thought anxiously as he felt tears forming in his eyes._ And it's all that bastard's fault… He made me lose more than I ever thought.

* * *

_Sometimes I just feel soooo bad for Ed. I can't believe I'm making him go through all this stuff. I'm a bastard.

Reviews would be still nice. I'll see when I'll manage to write the next chapter. Hopefully it won't take this long.


	17. Running through his veins

**Happy New Year everyone! The final chapter is here, at last!**

Sorry for the delay, I've had some troubles with my internet connection. Fuck that. And everything gets explained in here! Okay, not everything, but pretty much.

This was inspired by a dreak of mine. But to not spoil you, I'll tell you more about it in the end. Have a great time reading!

Oh, and _this doesn't make if you've only watched the anime._ This is **based on the manga. **Sorry about that, but it was the only way I could make it work. And... yeah, there's a **huuuge manga spoiler ahead**... but it's only if you know the spoiler, otherwise I'm not sure if you can make it out. Maybe.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!

* * *

PROTECT**

_**Chapter 17  
**__Running through his veins_

Roy was sitting on the couch wondering if there were still some bottles of alcohol he'd be able to drink so he could get at least a little of the horrible feelings raging inside of him away. Riza was sitting next to him, her light arm curled around his shoulders in a supporting way.

"Have you already calmed down and pitied yourself enough?" she asked strongly. Roy snorted. "Good. Because if this goes according to plan, we're going to take care of the kids for a long time. Having one of them pissed at you that badly isn't going to make things any easier. I think you should go and talk to him."

"I don't know what to say anymore", Roy muttered. "He's just pushed aside everything I have said so far. I'm clueless with what to do with him anymore."

She just smiled gently as she ran her hand through his raven hair. "Just make him know that you're sorry. I bet he already knows but make him really realise it. And give him some support, he's going through a rough time." She leaned closed so their lips almost touched. Roy tried to lean forward but she backed away and put her finger on his lips. "You won't get anything before you've gone there and talked to him. Are we clear?"

Roy groaned. "Riza… You're evil."

She smirked. "Learned from the best, I think. Okay, just go. I'll wait here."

He nodded and got up, walking upstairs to the door of the study which was watched by Breda at the time who was sitting on the floor and playing with cards. Breda didn't even raise his head as he entered the room to see the two kids on the other sides of the room, both staring into nothing. He hawked.

"Ed, I was just wondering if I could have a word with you", he said, making Al look up and see his brother still sitting motionless and he lowered his head again. Roy leaned down to take Ed's hand in his own and motioned him to stand up which he did and they walked out of the room, Roy locking the door behind them as they left and led Ed to a room which was probably the boys' own room. He motioned Ed to sit down which he did and sat next to him, curling a hand over Ed's shoulders. The boy didn't pull away but he didn't lean in either.

"How are you holding on?" he asked gently. Ed shrugged, looking at his own feet against the wooden floor. The room was tidy and clean which wasn't to be expected, especially while thinking of the rest of the house which seemed to be a complete chaos. Roy put his head on the boy's one and sighed. "Is it because of the shock or why are you turning to a robot again?"

Ed didn't answer as he kept staring at his feet, some kind of cold ignorance glowing from his slightly strained body. Roy could tell that the boy's emotions were getting mixed and messed up which made it hard for him to decide which ones were the important ones and which weren't. Roy ruffled his hair over his right ear.

"You know I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help you and give you a lighter future. You don't have to carry all that weight on your shoulders after this. You can be a normal boy of your age, going to school and playing with friends. You can have it all, you can have a loving family and even a pet if you like. Before we found you Riza was talking about wanting a dog. Wouldn't it be fun to have a dog?"

Ed shrugged again and made an almost unnoticeable sniff. Roy rubbed his back. "I just wanted you to know that even after all of this, I still love you. It's not going anywhere. I don't think your father will stop loving you either. And as I've said, you can meet him at times. When we know a little more of his judgement we can start planning how often you can meet. It can be at least once a week if you want to. I guess."

Ed turned and buried his head in Roy's chest, his right hand grabbing the fabric of his blue military shirt. Roy shushed. "Are you alright, Ed?" he asked worriedly. Ed shook his head. "What's wrong?"

Ed couldn't hold it in anymore and blew up. "Why did you have to find me!? Why did you have to do this all to me!?" he sobbed. "It'd been better without you. Everything would be alright without you! You did this to me! You did this all to me!"

Roy curled his hands around the shaking body on his lap and rocked the boy gently. "I'm sorry Ed. I know you'll never forgive me. All I'm asking is that you'd be able to live with it."

"Why are you manipulating me? Why is it so important to make me feel good and free and all that and then crush me down again, make me notice that I've changed so much that I can't go back and I have no one there for me anymore?"

"What are you talking about Ed? You have people for you, sure you've realised that? You have us and you have your brother who surely loves you a lot. Remember how he took care of you when we arrived? Remember his face? He cares. He'll always be there for you. Nobody's leaving you", Roy tried to calm the kid down but Ed shook his head.

"I don't want to be alone. Al hates me. I'm so alone", he sniffed. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you anymore. I just can't stop it! I can't control anything!"

"It's alright, Ed. It's alright", Roy said as he stroke the boy's head gently. "I'm sorry I've been acting like a heartless asshole for a while. I admit it. I've been an idiot. But I promise to try to be gentler from now on, alright? And if you feel like talking just ask for me. I'll come."

Ed shook his head stubbornly. "I am _not_ asking for your company."

Roy smiled. "It's alright that way too. How's your wound?"

"It doesn't hurt. Just like any other wound. At first it hurts, and then the pain faints away. It just feels a little sore", Ed answered as he sat up straight again. "And it's getting dark so the room we're in is starting to get pretty dark. And I bet Al's bored to hell. Usually when we don't have anything to read he starts cleaning up but he's too afraid to clean up Dad's study so… Yeah. Could you put lights there and give us something to do? And Al must be starving, can you bring him some food too?"

"Yeah. Of course. Sure. You're a good brother, worrying for your brother like that. We'll get you something to eat. And do you want read something? Is there any books you haven't read yet in this room?"

Ed nodded and picked up the book under his bed and several others from the shelf and one under Al's bed before they left the room and walked back to the study, Roy turning the lights on from the button outside the room's door before Ed slipped in again.

"One more question", Roy said, making Ed look back. "When I found you, you called him 'that man'. Now you call him 'Dad'. I'm just curious why?"

Ed smiled sadly. "You never really realise what you have until you start losing it."

Roy closed the door to get the promised kiss from Riza and some food for the starving children.

Ed, in another hand, walked quietly to Al and offered him the small pile of books, making the kid look up.

"I thought you might want something to read… They're getting food for you too", he said. Al eyed him and took hesitantly one of the books, the one that had been lying under his bed and Ed hesitantly took the one that had been under his bed but Al grabbed his hand.

"There's something that's mine", he said quietly. Ed nodded and handed him the book and Al opened it and took a leaf from it and smiled briefly to Ed. "Though I don't know if I really need it anymore", he continued, still quietly. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry."

Ed smiled briefly. "It's okay", he said as he sat down next to Al. Al lied down so his head was on Ed's lap as they started reading, both really not focusing to the books as they enjoyed having the other one around again like the old days.

* * *

"He's arrived", Fuery said to the walkie-talkie as he saw the golden haired man step out of the train. Falman glared at him, motioning for him to talk a little more quietly. In another line, at the Elrics's house, Roy nodded, motioning for Breda to go and guard the children's room again and stay alerted. Breda nodded and left the hall, leaving Havoc and Riza drawing out their weapons and Roy rolling his eyes for his subordinates rushed reactions. The man was at the station, not at the house!

"Follow him", he said to the walkie-talkie, making Fuery and Falman straighten up, say "Copy that" to the walkie-talkie and put their hats better on as they started walking down the streets, about 15 meters behind the man like they'd be normal Resemboolers on their way home. Hohenheim didn't seem to notice them. Thank god.

"We're about in the halfway. He just disappeared behind the hill, we're still getting up. Should we run and get him in our sight again?" Falman asked. At the house Roy grunted.

"You think he's noticed you?" he asked. Falman and Fuery looked at each others.

"I don't think so, sir. Though we aren't 100 percent sure. If he has, he's a good actor", Fuery said. We should get him in our sight again in less than a minute if we keep up this speed."

"Alright, let's not risk getting caught", Roy said as he leaned to the front door which Roy had fixed with alchemy. "Keep up the speed. If something goes wrong, report immediately", he continued. Riza and Havoc looked out of the windows to the road leading to the house. It didn't take a long time to walk from the train station to the house. The action should start in about five minutes. Roy wiped his forehead.

Fuery and Falman climbed up the road to the hill and looked down, eyes wide. "Colonel, he's not in our sight", Fuery said immediately. "We can't see him. There are a few trees behind what he could be walking, still heading to the house. If he isn't, he has sped up and should be there any minute."

"Damn it!" Roy swore. "Havoc, get to the backdoor-!"

A shot cut the air and Breda bellowed upstairs. Roy started running upstairs.

"HE'S HERE! Surround him, surround him, don't let him get to the study!" he bellowed to Riza and Havoc who were right behind him running upstairs. They heard the lock of the door. Damn it, the man was in the study! Just then the door disappeared as the wall swallowed it. Roy swore and hit his hands to the wall, noticing it was still hard and there was no way they could get through it soon. Breda was nowhere to be seen.

"Breda?!" Havoc yelled. They heard a muffle coming from the wall. Wait, that part of the wall hadn't been there a few minutes ago!

"I'm running out of air! Someone get me out of here!" Breda's voice yelled. Behind the wall was coming horrified screams as well. Roy panicked.

He snapped his fingers two times, first time aiming for the wall Breda was in and the second to make a pathway to the study. Breda coughed and Havoc ran to help him up and check for injuries as Riza and Roy stepped in the study, the dust starting to set down, horrified crying of Al reaching their ears. They couldn't see anything but a slight light of probably alchemy shining, but they couldn't be sure who it was as all the three could perform it so they didn't shoot. Ed's pained and fragment breaths cut the air and a disgusting sound of someone cutting one's flesh. They smelled the metallic scent of blood in the air.

As the dust finally set down and let them see, Al was crying his eyes out in the corned and Hohenheim was over Ed with a pained look on his face and tears glimmering in his eyes as he whispered something to the child who was holding his shirt with his last strength and looking at him with his pained eyes, Hohenheim pulling a knife from Ed's chest, making the blood rush out quicker. A line of blood was coming from the corner of Ed's mouth as his hand let go and eyes lost their focus.

Riza and Roy had frozen as they watched at the dead boy lying on the floor, his last gaze towards his little brother who was watching the scene fearfully from the corner.

* * *

A shot cut the air and Breda bellowed out of pain, making Ed and Al run to the door fearfully trying to find out what was going on. Was their father already there? Had he gotten shot? Was Breda hurt? Was someone dead? They felt the warmth of alchemy warming the cold door.

The door flew open and Ed and Al who had been hitting the door furiously were sent flying back several meters from the sudden burst of energy on their way. Their father stepped in the room, locked the door and laid his hands to the wall, the blue light of alchemy blinding them momentarily as the door disappeared in the slightly thinner wall and their father turned back at them.

He grabbed Ed from the collar, yanking him up. "So it's true", he whispered. He pushed the boy against the wall and put his hand on the boy's chest, feeling something inside of it. He threw the boy to the floor. "Where is it?!" he yelled as he threw Ed's jacket away and started looking for something from Ed's arms. Al got up and stepped forward.

"Dad, you're hurting him!" he yelled but Hohenheim threw him to the corner, making Al freeze seeing his father acting so violently. Hohenheim grabbed Ed's hair and pulled it up, seeing a mark on the back of Ed's neck. He shook his head with teary eyes and turned Ed on his back, looking at him fearfully.

"Dad-!" Ed started but was cut off by the hand of his father gently on his mouth. Hohenheim took a knife from his pocket, making Ed start fighting to get away but didn't let him as he struck it on the boy's chest, to the little part that looked like it was swollen and moved it down towards his heart. Ed's eyes started watering from pain as he grabbed his father's shirt, looking at him with eyes, almost asking for "why?". Hohenheim let go of Ed's mouth, letting him take in a pained breath as he ran his hand through Ed's hair, Al screaming in the corner as he saw the knife in his brother's chest.

"Heal the wound, Ed. You can do it. Use it. Heal it", he said as he moved the knife to the "swallowed" part of Ed's chest, something red, different shade of blood glowing in the wound. Ed felt its energy rushing in his veins. He closed his eyes to get strength and the blue light of alchemy glowed as the wound healed, but his father kept moving the knife, cutting it open again after he healed it. The pain was unbearable and Ed opened his eyes in order to stay awake. He couldn't die yet! He couldn't die in front of his terrified little brother! Why was the man doing this to him?! Why?!

The wall blew up and dust filled Ed's lungs, trying to strangle him. Ed was sweating. The pain was overwhelming and he held his father's shirt even harder with his hand as he tried to heal the wound again. How was he able to do this? How? He hadn't drawn a circle and it wasn't like he knew anything of human transmutation! He shouldn't be able to do this! Why could he?

Hohenheim stroke his hair and cheeks in a relaxing way as Ed felt the taste of blood coming to his mouth from his lungs. No! He was running out of energy. He wasn't able to transmute his body so well anymore! The alchemy on his chest burned like hell and made him nauseous, so did the smell of blood. He gagged more blood from his mouth and tried draw in another fragmentary breath, starting to get black spots to his vision. No, no, no! He needed help!

The dust landed and his father leaned closer to his ear, whispering "I'm sorry, son", to him before pulling the knife from his chest. He couldn't heal the wound anymore. He was out of energy. The red thing in his chest shattered and vanished to the thin air. He couldn't breathe anymore.

He turned to see Al who was crying in the corner before he felt his consciousness slipping away. He knew he would never wake up again.

Ed's hand dropped. Hohenheim took Ed's bloody corpse in his hands and embraced it tightly, hugging him gently. He looked at the vanishing mark on the boy's neck. Roy came out of his shock.

"LET GO OF HIM AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!" he bellowed furiously as he felt Riza shaking uncontrollably next to him, Fuery and Falman coming to the scene and peeking at the room, covering their mouths, Havoc demanding to know what was going on and Breda bellowing for everyone to shut up because his head was hurting. Al stood up and attacked their father furiously, drawing his hands back and starting hitting and kicking the man as hard as he could, Roy rushing to the scene and pulling Al away and giving him to Falman so he would take the boy away. It's needless to mention that Al didn't let anyone take him away.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU… YOU… YOU AREN'T EVEN HUMAN! HOW COULD YOU!? _HOW COULD YOU!?_" Al screamed as he fought, trying to get to Hohenheim to get his revenge for the death of his brother. Roy took handcuffs from his belt but Hohenheim raised his hands.

"Don't do it, please don't do it. Not before I'm finished. Let me revive him. Let me save him!" Hohenheim demanded, making Roy shook his head furiously.

"You aren't touching him anymore! You aren't touching either of your sons anymore! Haven't you done enough? How was it like watching your own son bleed to death in front of your eyes because of _you_!" he bellowed. "Let go of him and let him rest in peace without having your filthy hands around him."

"Don't judge me before giving me a chance to explain. Calm down and let's talk about this", Hohenheim demanded seriously, Roy shaking his head.

"What? You want to _talk_? Say one reason why I should listen to you!" Roy bellowed as Riza stepped forward and put a calming hand on his shoulder. He swallowed for a few times, trying to hold his pain inside.

"You want to hear why I killed him and you don't want to do anything rushed because we have only about an hour to revive him before his soul is found and moved behind the gate by the gatekeeper. And you really want him alive. After this, you can do whatever you want. Kill me. Arrest me. But you've got to let me do this", Hohenheim said. Roy sighed and fell to his knees.

"What could you possibly say to make your actions forgivable?" Roy asked. Hohenheim shrugged.

"Probably nothing. So are you listening?"

Roy nodded. "Take others out of here. Give Alphonse something to drink. This shouldn't take long."

Al bit Falman's hand and broke free before rushing to the room. "You aren't pushing me away. This is about me too. I want to know why my brother's dead. You can't leave me out of this!" he hissed furiously. Roy understood him.

"Riza, take care of Al. You can listen too. Everyone else, go away. Treat your wounds. Start packing things. We're leaving after this", he said. The others nodded unwillingly and closed the door, walking away. Roy turned to Hohenheim. "Explain."

Hohenheim moved Ed's hair away and showed Roy the mark that was barely to be seen anymore, still fading. "You recognize that mark?"

Roy shook his head. "Never seen it."

"It's the Ouroboros mark. Sort of like a tattoo, but you don't really get it done and you can't remove it any way. Homunculi have these marks."

"Wait, wait, wait. Homunculi are unreal humans. Are you telling me that Ed isn't a human?" Roy asked. Hohenheim shook his head.

"My son is a human. But he has philosopher's stone running through his veins. Do you know how a homunculus is born?"

Roy shook his head, making Hohenheim continue. "Homunculi are humans at first. Ordinary humans. But then someone puts red stone, the philosopher's stone, in their blood. It can go through a wound or it can be put there with a needle or any other ways you can think of. But in Ed's case… I'm the philosopher's stone, so he had it in his genes."

"What? You can't possibly be the philosopher's stone!" Roy yelled. "There's no way! Humans aren't the philosopher's stone!"

Hohenheim raised his hand to quiet Roy. "I am the philosopher's stone. Centuries ago a city disappeared in one night. We were trying to make our king immortal. But the… _thing _that led us fooled us. I was the only one who survived. Everyone else's lives are stuck in me and that thing that took a body like mine. He's called 'Father'.

"Anyway, I became the philosopher's stone. I've lived for centuries, watching my friends age and die. Then one day, I fell in love. For the first time, I was able to sacrifice my heart, even while knowing that I shouldn't and it would break me. I got a family. Wife and two sons.

"My wife died. That's when I realised that I didn't want to see my sons die too. I didn't want to live centuries after they had died. I wanted to die before them like a father should. I couldn't stand being immortal anymore. So I started studying. I tried to find a way to become mortal again. I got closer and closer to my path and I heard of Father's doings, including the homunculi and how they were born. I started getting worried but my sons seemed to be just fine.

"Then, one day several months ago, I realised that things weren't alright with Edward. I had known that he had part of philosopher's stone inside of his chest since he had been a baby. But he had been safe because it hadn't gotten mixed with his blood. But when he hit puberty… the hormones in his body made the philosopher's stone mix with his blood. The day I realised it, Edward changed his hair colour out of nothing. Of course, as he didn't really know about his talent he couldn't control it. He couldn't use it willingly. With my help he managed to change his hair back to golden again. But it kept bugging me.

"Ed didn't know about the philosopher's stone inside of him. He hadn't even sensed it. Otherwise he would've been able to do alchemy without a circle, but as he needed the circle, he didn't know about it. So I let him be and hoped he'd never notice how different he was. And as he became immortal too… I'd have a son to live by my side even if I wouldn't find a way to cure myself. But with some examination I realised that Ed's stone held in only a few human lives: it wasn't a major one. As I visited Central, still studying for how to make me mortal and getting money to be able to feed us, I bumped into a few homunculi, sent by Father. He told me that when Ed would fully turn into a homunculus, he'd come and get him because homunculi were his idea and possession. I knew I'd lose if we'd have to battle of Ed: it was just me against him and several homunculi. I had no chance. So I started looking for a cure for Ed.

"I searched. I studied. Finally, I was able to find out, that if I'd kill him and he'd realise the stone and use its energy and then die, he wouldn't be a homunculus anymore. Only problem after that was death, but as I was the philosopher's stone, I'd be able to revive him. But after a while I snapped. I'd been in a bad condition for years, but thinking of killing my eldest son… it's really painful. I couldn't control it. I just wanted it done. But I didn't want to do it either, I kept telling myself 'tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow, tomorrow will be the day', but I never did it. The kids started getting on my nerves more and more. They were on my way always when I tried to study for another way, and I found no other way and I knew I'd have to kill my son and live with it.

"Then one day, I really got angry. I couldn't control it, the fury was like poison running through my veins. I wanted to kill him like I had to, but I didn't want to watch. So I took him to the sea and left him to drown…" Hohenheim told and took a small pause, burying his head in his hands. Roy felt bad for the man. What he had done was _wrong_, but the man had been out of options. But he should've at least explained it to Ed and stayed there for him as he died. Just throwing him in the sea and being like he didn't care… It was heartless. Hohenheim raised his head again and took in a breath.

"I hoped Ed had realised the philosopher's stone. Otherwise he would've died and if a homunculus dies with the philosopher's stone still having power inside, the gatekeeper senses it quicker and it'd be the end. When a living human arrives to the gate, the gatekeeper finds the person in mere seconds. It'd mean his soul would go through the gate sooner than I'd be able to pull it back to a living body again.

"I didn't go straight home as I came back. I came to a silent place in the middle of those hills and tried the transmutation after several hours. I met the gatekeeper and then I found out that if I'd want to revive a person, I'd have to collect the soul before he does. I also found out that it had to be done within the following hour. Ed wasn't there. The keeper refused to tell me if he had collected his soul yet, but I didn't think Ed would be able to swim anymore. So… I… I thought I had failed. I thought I had murdered my own son just like that and I'd never get the chance to apologize. The pain was unbearable.

"I came home and started working on how to become mortal again so I'd at least have a chance to live a normal life with Al. My mind was totally messed up. It's hard trying to stay strong for your child when you've just killed the child's brother. I kept forgetting things and such. Due to the shock, probably. I left for Central again for a business trip but in there I found out that Ed wasn't dead. The Homunculi said they were looking for him already but it was like he had vanished. Kept hidden. Or maybe he was just walking under their nose and they didn't see him. I decided to come home, get Al and start looking for Ed.

"On my way home, I realised that two men were following me. I still can't believe you were stupid enough to think I wouldn't notice. At first chance I ran. I broke to my own house from the back door, saw you talking on the front door, got upstairs, took the gun from the guard and shot his leg, transmuted him in the wall and got here.

"You know pretty much everything from there on, but you might wonder why I stabbed the knife in his chest. Ed still didn't know about the stone. He had been close dying, and he didn't know about it. I stabbed the stone in his chest. His body noticed it. I kept him healing the cut so he'd waste the energy. I succeeded, the stone shattered and vanished and as we can see…" he moved Ed's hair again, revealing his son's neck. "no Ouroboros mark anymore. It's over. So, are you letting me to save him?"

Roy bit his lip. "I shouldn't let you. It's a taboo. But if that happened to Ed, what about Al?"

"The stone didn't pass down to Al. We philosopher's stones sense others that have it in their veins around us. Al doesn't have it", Hohenheim stated. Roy narrowed his eyes.

"You said it mixed with Ed's blood because of the puberty he hit, which in another words can be said that a child can have it in his or her veins without becoming a homunculus. You are an adult. Why aren't you one?"

"I became the philosopher's stone when I was an adult. It never touched my blood, so it didn't mix with it. Homunculi nowadays are adults or teenagers with the stone put in their blood. So I'm not."

"Alright. As I can tell from some myths I remember now, when a homunculus dies, its body disappears. Why didn't Ed's body disappear?" Roy asked again, motioning at the corpse on Hohenheim's lap. Hohenheim smiled.

"He hadn't fully transformed yet. The stone had started mixing up with his blood, but he wasn't ready yet. In Ed's way, the hormones kept turning him into one slowly. Usually it happens within a minute. Ed's still part human which keeps his corpse in here", Hohenheim explained. Al seemed confused but didn't say anything.

"…Alright. Do it", Roy said. Riza shot a look at him.

"Are you sure, Roy? It can go wrong. It can go horribly wrong", Riza said. When I joined the military before Ishbal, a state alchemist had tried it. I was cleaning up the mess. And I cleaned… the result up. It wasn't a human, Roy."

"I said do it", Roy said. "If you succeed, I won't tell the police about you killing him. Which means your only charges will be about child abuse and we can put your mental state in there too which should help not getting in too big trouble. Just revive him."

Hohenheim smiled. "Thank you", he said as he laid his hands on Ed's chest, healing the wound. After that the light was so bright that they couldn't see. The light wasn't the usual blue, it was yellow and it had a little green in it. Al had gasped and grabbed Riza's sleeve out of shock.

When the light faded they heard coughing. Hohenheim was holding Ed against his chest, Ed coughing the remaining blood from his lungs and forcing air in them, squeezing his father's jacket, eyes wide. Roy released Ed's grasp and took him further away from his father and laid him down to the floor on his right side.

"You should let him rest. He'll be dizzy for several days. His brains can be damaged, we can't know how badly yet. Dying and then coming back to life takes a lot of energy and strains the body. He's going to be alright but he needs a lot of rest now.

"…Al…" Ed whispered quietly and reached at his brother who crawled to him and took his hand gently.

"I'm here, brother, I'm here… It's okay… It's okay…" Al babbled as he burst into tears of relief and Ed fell asleep.

Roy sighed as he handcuffed Hohenheim. "Alright. Now were getting the hell out of here and start heading back to Central."

* * *

"Mmmhmm…" Ed moaned as he woke up, his mind still dizzy and limbs heavy, not to mention a horrible headache. He opened his eyes and waited for a while for his eyes to get used to the darkness. The room was familiar. This was his room at Roy's place!

He sat up shakily and noticed a figure sleeping next to him. Al! Al was there…

Wait… he shouldn't be there… He should be dead… Was it a nightmare…? Then how had he ended up in here? Why was he alive? Or was Al dead?

He felt nausea hit him and lied down again, turning to Al and shook him slightly. "Al… wake up…"

Al's eyes shot open and he looked at his brother's sleepy ones for a brief while before hugging him tightly. "Brother! Brother, thank god you're alright! Thank god, thank god!"

Ed whined. Al sat up quickly. "Mr Roy! Mr Roy, he's awake!"

Roy was in the room in no time with Riza. "Ed!" he said, relieved, and stroke his hair. Riza smiled gently and glared at Roy in warning so he moved aside and let her hug him. Ed blinked his eyes.

"Am I alive?" he asked hopefully. Riza nodded as she stroke his cheek. "But why? How?"

"Your father saved you", Riza answered. Ed froze and started trembling.

"…I don't ever want to see him again", he said, getting flashes of the man stabbing him with the knife. Riza smiled gently.

"Yes you do", she said. "Don't lie to yourself. You never really realised what you have until you almost lose it. And you almost lost everything…"

Ed glared up at Roy. "You bastard, have you told everyone about our private conversation?!"

Roy laughed. "I wished he would've forgotten about it."

Ed smiled. "…Thank you", he said. "Thank you for everything. I just wanted to say it."

He didn't have to say more. They understood him without more words anyway.

* * *

Finished! Another long story that I finished! How proud I feel! Yeah!

I know it's really unclear. Oops. But I tried my best and I tried being original again... not sure if I managed. It's your decision. I'd like to hear about that in your final reviews.

And yes, what part of this was based on my dream? Ed's death. Unfortunately I was Ed in that dream. I'll kill the person who said that dreams don't hurt, because they_ do_. Though in my dream it wasn't a knife Hohenheim stuck in mine/Ed's body, it was a bunch of about 15cm needles. Yaiks. Right through my/Ed's heart. Though, unlike Ed in my fic, I crawled after that and the needles went even deeper. Ouch. And Al was present that time but Roy and others weren't. But anyway, when I woke up the dream kept bugging me and it didn't let go until I put it in here, changing the even stupider ending I had been planning. First I planned Hohenheim to snap and shoot Ed's leg so he'd get automail but it's a little stupid to cut of many times shot leg and get an automail, isn't it? So I went with this one.

Thanks for everyone for reading and reviewing this story. It means a lot to me to have readers. _A lot_. All this time people keep supporting me and asking for me to update and I feel so bad for being so late all the time. But when I hear about you again, I'm happy again. I can't discribe it. It's just... awesome. Thank you!

And to those who wonder... Hohenheim was put in therapy and jail and after about 10 years he got out. He met his sons about once a week except for the times they were on vacation with Riza and Roy. When he got out, he kept searching for a way to turn mortal again. It's up to your choise whether he found it or not.


End file.
